Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Lie # 102: I have read these terms and agreements

Confession time:  Go ahead and call the lawyers, because I haven't read these terms and agreements or those terms and agreements;  specifically, ANY terms and agreements that are attached to anything that just shouldn't have that many terms and agreements.

Let's imagine that I am using an app on my Smartphone (cough, cough) which will allow me to enter the exciting world of knocking down colored blocks or solving a Sudoku puzzle, how many terms and agreements do I need to sign?  I promise I won't hack into the block ap because I don't know how.  I'm not going to tell everyone that I am the real Mr. Sudoku and sell copies to everyone in North America or reveal the answers to the puzzles, if I can ever solve them.

While loading some graphic art programs the other day, you'd have thought I was buying a house.  Window after window popped up requiring my agreement to some inane stipulation. Numbed by the legal blather, I just want to yell "I agree! I agree!"  

Furthermore, go ahead and call the pharmacist, too.  Let's air it all out.  I'm not reading the package inserts for prescriptions and I am signing for them without asking questions.  In my defense, I used to be a nurse and I have a decent doctor.  He prescribes medication for my symptoms and I trust he does not wish to do me harm.  If I'm being prescribed a dangerous drug, I'd like the doctor to explain to me why he or she thinks the benefit outweighs the risk.  I'll be adult about it and respond honestly.  Those questions will be addressed before I go to get the drug.  Once I pick it up from the pharmacy and ingest it, I know there is inherent risk in everything.  If I feel like it might not be doing what it should, then back to the doctor I'll go.  I don't need the specifics about Angiotensin-converting enzyme inhibitors, possible headaches, dehydration, hair loss, constipation, diarrhea, salsa dancing and periods of depression.  History has shown me that I will be depressed half way through any attempted reading of the terms and agreements, so the cat is out of the bag on that one.

I'm bombarded with information that is not relevant on my terms:  STOP.   Simplify it for the average person who has other things to do.  I'll start the ball rolling on this one.

Suggested simplified forms:

You bought one copy.  Don't make more.  Don't misuse it.   We sue, if necessary.  Problem?  Call customer service.

Take as directed.  Feel funny?  Call the doctor (the pharmacist is going to tell you to call him, too...skip the pharmacist call).

Rat Poison:
Don't be stupid, this will kill rats...and you.  If you are a rat, see our terms and agreements.

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Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo