Moments of cool are fleeting on the flipside, which is why it's so darn annoying when they are snatched away. After a long day of adulthood, I was heading back to the house and feeling like all the planets had aligned and for once everything was going according to plan. Usually, I note these on my calendar; they're few and far between. A sweet cloud overblown contentment and satisfaction hung over me. My "to-do" list was now empty and I was ahead of schedule. My favorite song was on the radio! It was a beautiful day and supper was in the crock pot. This is adult nirvana.
Just then, a carload of teens nearly swiped the side of my happy-mobile! Instantly, I got the jolt of adrenaline that originated deep inside my fight or flight mode. Looking ahead, I noted that at least five boys were gawking out the back window of a very nice, fully loaded Cadillac and rudely laughing.
Slow learner that I am, it finally occurred to me that they might have tried to side-swipe my car on purpose, or at least tried to shake me up. Nihilism on wheels...(I heard a growling sound escape from my innards).
The jerk-o-meter was almost at 100%, fueled by a feigned mooning, slobbery tongue wagging and vulgar gestures from the "gentlemen" - and I wished that a large pot hole would appear in their path and knock a few heads together.
At that moment, I had my own epiphany: There is no way that car belongs to a teenager. It screamed upper management or "my Dad is a CEO!" but nothing about it said this belongs to a teenager. I wonder what Dad the VP would think about this little journey in his fine ride. Both of our cars slowed to a stop at a red light. Reaching into my purse, I pulled out a large marker and began to write the license plate number in a giant script on my clipboard.
As the guys continued their taunting, I held up the clipboard with the license plate number in full view and pressed it against the windshield. Immediately, all their faces assumed a look of sheer terror, and a few of them were tapping the driver's shoulder so hard that I actually saw him turn and angrily mouth the words, "Hey!!" The boys very animated as they pointed out the back window of the Cadillac toward my upturned clipboard.
An evil, mirthful grin expanded across my middle aged face. Silly miscreants. I've still got it.