Wednesday, April 30, 2014

I Give These Rock Stars Permission to Retire

One of my favorite pastimes  is to evaluate and compare the aging process of the rock stars of my youth to my own downward spiral into geezerhood.  

It's a twofold process;  first, I feign amazement when I find I am the same age as some of them. Me and Michael Jackson? Who knew? Next, I compare how well I've held up ( mug) to how well they have held up. I'm mum about those results.

Frequently, they win. Basically, I look like a dumpling with a head and glasses. The only thing I really have going for me is consistent use of sunscreen.

This isn't a vanity thing, I'm a big fan of a multitude of rock stars of the past and I live in a perpetual state of "where are they now?" No one loves the oldies like Cherdo.

There ought to be an old age home specifically for retired rock stars.  Catering to the aging trendsetter, they could have hair stylists who specialize in colors that don't occur in nature - like pink and lime green.  No hospital gowns for this crowd;  everyone could maintain the look that made them some fuzzy slippers. Most will have lost their hearing by then, so catching a few extra winks ought to be pretty easy.

I'm wondering if some of these stars of yesteryear are waiting for permission to quit rocking. Maybe no one has offered to take on that task, but hey - I've said it before, I'm a giver! I don't mind letting them know that it might be time for a change.  

These are some of my favorites from my younger days. Let's see who needs a push to the nursing home encouraged to rest and gracefully enter a well earned retirement. I've inserted a few links to illustrate the current state of rock affairs.
  1. Eddie Van Halen: do use the sunscreen, Eddie Van Halen...hint hint.  If you followed the link, I'm guessing your first thought was "oh, sweet Lord, what happened to Eddie Van Halen??" The answer is Eddie is 59 years old. He's been through oral cancer and David Lee Roth.   Let the man rest.   RETIRED.
  2. Cyndi Lauper: Just caught a glimpse of ole' Cyndi on a morning show last week (click and check her Facebook page). She looked pretty good for 60, and I see she is doing a tour with Cher. When she sings her hits, they still sound like her hits. If she has had plastic surgery, it was a decent job 'cause she still looks like Cyndi Lauper. Though she is probably wearing down a bit, I say long as you're not embarrassing yourself ROCK ON.
  3. Cher: I can't believe she is 67. Click and see. Cher, I miss your old mouth, circa 1980...the Silkwood Cher face. But she is still touring (hey, Cyndi Lauper was in fifth grade when Cher would have been a senior. I'm sure Cher was too cool to graduate, so I'm not even fact checking this one). In honor of your tenacity, I'm going to let you stay the course till your darn good and ready, Cher. ROCK ON.
  4. Billy Idol: Years ago, I saw Billy in concert and I thought he was so cool. He was very talkative and engaged with the crowd - his music was perfect live and he was a looker. Now, I look at my old pal, Billy, and he looks scary. At 58, he looks rough, in my humble opinion. Click and see. Has he met Cher and Cyndi? I'm sure they'd give him the name of their "guy."  In the meantime, Billy, it's time to take a breather, son. RETIRED.
  5. Neil Young:  Take a gander. If I'm not mistaken, Neil Young may have filled up my tank at the last real full service gas station in town. You're 68 years old. You've got royalties, Neil. Take a rest, bro. RETIRED.
  6. Bruce Springsteen:  Retire at 64? Oh, shut your mouth - he's the boss. ROCK ON.
I give three of these rock legends permission to retire!  This could turn into a government program. 

1 comment:

  1. I think my favorite part of this post is that every single rock star you mentioned is older than I am. Willy Dunne Wooters is considerably older than I am, too. I like being younger than someone.



Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo