No news is good news? I reject that. Especially this morning.
First of all, there are only a few times when "no news" would be welcome. Here's few scenarios that come to mind:
- "I'll let you know when this building is going to collapse on your head." (No news is good news).
- "The list of departments we are closing at the plant will be posted." (No news is good news)
- Early colonial duel: "We will count to ten, turn, and fire our pistols at each other." (Perhaps this should be subtitled "no count is good news.")
This addiction started at a young age when I would listen to the news on the radio or watch hometown news (yay, WFMJ! WKBN! Channel 33!).
Soon, I moved on to the hard stuff - printed news. Our paper in dear old Austintown always came around four o'clock, and I accepted that as being the delivery time; unchangable, like the alignment of the planets. It was perfect for all the young people who delivered The Vindicator after school. Conveniently, it also meant I got to the paper before my Dad, another news junkie, and I was adept and putting it back together perfectly. My Dad was also crotchety for minor things - like a wrinkled paper, or a paper with the sections in the wrong order.
The Internet was like "free heroin for everyone!" with regard to the availability of news. News stories are attached to everything. When I open a browser - news. Check email? Headlines pop up. Sometimes, irritatingly so (one of the few blogs I wrote, then deleted, was about how many times I had to read that Peaches Geldof had passed away - I don't think Nelson Mandela got as much coverage).
Which brings us to today, and I am standing on the sidewalk in my bear feet waiting, waiting, waiting. No newspaper. This is when it really hits home: I don't care how many ways you can deliver a story, I still want a printed newspaper. And I know that if this paper is not coming, I'll not see today's news in print, so I'm hoping it's just late. If I call, they'll just promise a credit. I don't want a credit, I want news.
Dang it, no news is not good news, it is a lie - where is my paperwoman? This is starting to impact the Christmas tip...