Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Payback...It's Your Mother

Maternal experience will eventually lead to a few cringe moments.  Maybe it will come in the form of public embarrassment (I still fear show and tell...or maybe, just the "tell") or an interesting revelation from my children - spoken at a particular inconvenient time.  Okay, you already know that I have some experience with this.

With time, Moms tend to turn these memories into something acceptable or's a comforting form of selective amnesia.  Mortification turns to "Oh, that was so funny."

I have to confess something. There are times when I fantasize about how much fun it would be to turn the tables on my older sons and lay a dose of embarrassment on them, just for old times sake. Especially Juggernaut, because cool is the clay he works with on a regular basis.  He prides himself in saying things without fear of retribution;  we all just have to play along because that's how he is.  That hasn't always been, shall we say "comfortable."

In my fantasy, I visit him at work to show off a new tattoo.  Of course, I'd show all his co-workers first.  I'm thinking that a grocery list tattooed on my forearm would just scream mom-crazy.  Imagine his surprise when he leaves his office, only to see me explaining the benefits of my new tattoo to all his tattooed, urban rock god buddies:  "Just check off what you need at the store, and your list is always with you!  Isn't this fun?"

The alternate choice is a lower back (very much lower) tattoo of Lewis & Clark emblazoned with the words "Westward Expansion."  I'm not sure the rock gods would recover from that combination ode to history and middle aged spread, all rolled into one.

I'm not heartless.

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Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo