Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Vocabulary Overhaul...It's Time



The blog posts seem to have a language focus this week, which brings me to the subject of, you know, the repetition of certain words in a "personal" vocabulary.  Everyone knows a co-worker, friend, family member or child who has favorite words that are so cute the first 900 times they say it, you know?  And then they, like, grow a lot, you know?  Like years-wise?  And you, like, love that dude like crazy, you know, but it just gets on your last nerve.

There are words that should have a quantitative limit on the number of times you can use them in your life time.  Perhaps you weren't aware; I get that.  This short list is just to get you started if you need an overhaul in your vocabulary.

A starter list of terms to avoid:

you know  1  per day
If I know, and you know I know, you really don't have to stress that point much more, you know?
Let the know flow;  it's understood.

like  1 per sentence
If it is the main verb, not any undiagrammable offshoot, as in the sentence "he was, like, totally crazy...so I like freaked and said dude, like, be cool and stuff!"  Like that.

dat  0 times
Unless you have a speech impediment and are attending speech therapy.  If you've missed a scheduled appointment, this exception is revoked. Oh, it's like dat, 24/7.  Speaking of which...

24/7  5 times per lifetime...and it better really be 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
(more if you are a personal trainer or police officer)

Yo  1 time 
Never at the beginning or end of an interrogative sentence.  Shouted only.  Hailing a cab, perhaps; unless you are unemployed, in which case - 0 times.  You might want to get in the no-yo habit immediately.  Nothing does less for your possible job hunt then saying "yo" in an interview. Trust me...or that guy I didn't hire.

poo, poo-poo, wee, pee-pee or the ever popular tinkle   1 time per day
Preferably, if your actual (chronological, not mental) age is 6 years old or less.
Whispering does not negate the rule.
Definite "no" post-teens.  You want to go to prom, don't you?  Raise your hand and ask to do any of those things, using those words and see where it gets you.

holler, holla   No; zero.
That day is done, son.
Addendum for clarification:  If you say this to reference a "hollow", hang that up, too (ahem...West Virginia, this means you, or ya'll, I should say...).

Dude!  Only if attending a Bill and Ted throwback party (unlimited for the full party time).  
That would be most excellent;  other than that...no.

Babe, or baby   Only for your beloved.
No exception for Justin Bieber.
All other B type words are forbidden, if addressing females.

Sugar, Honey   Only for your beloved.
Exception for The Archies (now I am showing my age). Hey, if I won't give a break to an ancient, swinging preppy dressed rock band composed of cartoon characters, what does that say about ME?
All other H type words are forbidden, if addressing females.

Shawty  No
I had to look that one up.  No.  No one should have to work at it to sound dopey, but this route is just too easy.

Homie  No, double no
It's over.

In spite of my views, I reserve the right to still think I'm cool (in private), even though I still say cool.

3 comments:

  1. Yo, Cherdo! Sup? :)

    I will also try to limit the use of ":)" to one time per comment.
    Oops, that's two already! :) Damn, that's three!

    Some call it "The Ebonic Plague" and "The New Black Death." I cringe when I hear young people using words like these. I shudder when I hear older people adopt them into their vocabulary in a misguided effort to stay current and seem cool.

    Whenever I engage in this discussion, I recall network news anchor, journalist and author Edwin Newman and his book Strictly Speaking: Will America Be the Death of English?

    Description:

    << Newman focuses on the sorry state of the English language as a reflection of the sorry state of the society. He skewers stereotypes, clichés, errors, and jargon used by weather forecasters, presidents, vice-presidents, sportscasters, diplomats, senators, pollsters, convention nominators, corporation executives, newsmen, advertisers, Watergate defendants, social scientists, college presidents, foreign correspondents, youth. If words are devalued, he argues, so are ideas and so are human beings. >>

    ABC News anchorman Peter Jennings also comes to mind. For many years I was a regular viewer of his nightly news segment and appreciated his meticulous attention to grammatical correctness.

    I hope you are having a fine week, dear Cherdo!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Shady DK:

    Sadly, I cannot enter the ranks of "real writers" and boast of meticulous attention to anything but the thought of the day. On second thought, dat ain't all dat meticulous, either.

    The Flipside methodology is just to draw and write every day! Perhaps persistence is my only skill. Fortunately, there's an abundance of things to remember, observe and poke with a stick.

    Bloggedly Yours,
    Cherdo
    (Dell Rat Newbie)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your membership card and mouse ears are in the mail! :)

      Delete

Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo