Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Vocabulary Overhaul...It's Time
The blog posts seem to have a language focus this week, which brings me to the subject of, you know, the repetition of certain words in a "personal" vocabulary. Everyone knows a co-worker, friend, family member or child who has favorite words that are so cute the first 900 times they say it, you know? And then they, like, grow a lot, you know? Like years-wise? And you, like, love that dude like crazy, you know, but it just gets on your last nerve.
There are words that should have a quantitative limit on the number of times you can use them in your life time. Perhaps you weren't aware; I get that. This short list is just to get you started if you need an overhaul in your vocabulary.
A starter list of terms to avoid:
you know 1 per day
If I know, and you know I know, you really don't have to stress that point much more, you know?
Let the know flow; it's understood.
like 1 per sentence
If it is the main verb, not any undiagrammable offshoot, as in the sentence "he was, like, totally crazy...so I like freaked and said dude, like, be cool and stuff!" Like that.
dat 0 times
Unless you have a speech impediment and are attending speech therapy. If you've missed a scheduled appointment, this exception is revoked. Oh, it's like dat, 24/7. Speaking of which...
24/7 5 times per lifetime...and it better really be 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
(more if you are a personal trainer or police officer)
Yo 1 time
Never at the beginning or end of an interrogative sentence. Shouted only. Hailing a cab, perhaps; unless you are unemployed, in which case - 0 times. You might want to get in the no-yo habit immediately. Nothing does less for your possible job hunt then saying "yo" in an interview. Trust me...or that guy I didn't hire.
poo, poo-poo, wee, pee-pee or the ever popular tinkle 1 time per day
Preferably, if your actual (chronological, not mental) age is 6 years old or less.
Whispering does not negate the rule.
Definite "no" post-teens. You want to go to prom, don't you? Raise your hand and ask to do any of those things, using those words and see where it gets you.
holler, holla No; zero.
That day is done, son.
Addendum for clarification: If you say this to reference a "hollow", hang that up, too (ahem...West Virginia, this means you, or ya'll, I should say...).
Dude! Only if attending a Bill and Ted throwback party (unlimited for the full party time).
That would be most excellent; other than that...no.
Babe, or baby Only for your beloved.
No exception for Justin Bieber.
All other B type words are forbidden, if addressing females.
Sugar, Honey Only for your beloved.
Exception for The Archies (now I am showing my age). Hey, if I won't give a break to an ancient, swinging preppy dressed rock band composed of cartoon characters, what does that say about ME?
All other H type words are forbidden, if addressing females.
I had to look that one up. No. No one should have to work at it to sound dopey, but this route is just too easy.
Homie No, double no
In spite of my views, I reserve the right to still think I'm cool (in private), even though I still say cool.