Monday, June 30, 2014

A Dress Called Wagon Wheel

Every family has their own legends; the stories that won't die. My sister and I love to rehash the tale of the Wagon Wheel dress.

Friday, June 27, 2014

Friday Whyday

It's Friday Whyday and I've been saving up a few questions for the general public:

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Confessions of a Duck Girl

Yesterday, I received a lovely email from someone who shall remain nameless. It was full of undeserved compliments and glowing admiration (ahhh...the person is still young). Pausing, I double checked to see if it was for me; it was. Now, that is weird, I thought.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Big Kitty Wants a Cookie

A Memphis woman has been banned from the Memphis Zoo after she jumped the barrier and entered the lion enclosure to give it (wait for it...) a cookie. Nothing crazy;  just jumped into the lion's den. This was not the first time the woman had done that. Clearly, she was certain that lions wanted cookies, lest you think this was an impulsive act. With appropriate forethought, she made sure she was a member of the Memphis Zoo - as we all know, membership has it's privileges...sadly, feeding lions dessert isn't one of them.  

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Big Wiener and Bad Math

My news obsession has been addressed in this blog before. Come to think of it, so has my disappointment with non-news items portrayed as real news. Yesterday brought a new layer of irritation to my short attention span: the combination of non-news and bad math. All day long I pondered why this trend isn't being questioned much at normal Joe level, where we can all agree on the math.  

It all began with a really big wiener dog. Saying "weiner dog" instead of dachshund is one of the few things that consistently makes me feel six, maybe. Retinol cream can't come close to those numbers.

Monday, June 23, 2014

So Punny

Laugh, and the world laughs with you - but resort to a corny pun, and you're on your own.  

Even my best friends do a phony BA-DUM-DUMP drumroll sound and ooze their disdain from every pore when I say something punny. Is it just me? I've known some homicidal punners who are serial butchers of promising puns. At least my puns are CPR worthy.

Friday, June 20, 2014

The Half-Naked Library

[This post is dedicated to my pal, Lorrie, who won't even go to the library because she fears a person has taken the book into a bathroom.]

When we moved to our current house, it was a downsized adventure in many ways. In our old home, we had a living room and spacious family room - in our current home, we just have a small, but cozy, living room. In our old home we had a huge kitchen; in our current home, it's more of a galley type kitchen. All these elements were obviously fully visible when we decided to purchase our current home, though we may have been a bit punch drunk with the promise of privacy and a great big flat yard.

What we skimmed over was the lack of a master bathroom and the "bleh" bathroom upstairs. 

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Express Yourself Scary Movies (or Books!)

While visiting author Stephanie Faris' most excellent blog, I became inspired to join in on the bloghop hosted by Dani and Jackie. Ladies, I give you the flipster salute for creativity (high praise).  It's not a bad thing; really it isn't.  Flipster salute just sounds like you might not want one.

The challenge of this bloghop was simple: Discuss the scariest movie or book you've read that made you unable to sleep. 

Wednesday, June 18, 2014


Recent reports show that teens are bonded to their screen time, with many spending in excess of three hours a day glued to a television, computer or smartphone.  

Can't we use this for good?  If we already know their peepers will jump to the screen as it signals a new message, it may be useless to fight that - the smart thing to do is to control that message's content.  

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Evolution, Laundry Style

There's more than a few holes in many human evolutionary theories, yet I'm never compelled to jump on the band wagon and plug 'em up.  I have serious concerns about how things happened as recently as yesterday - so stand in line, evolution.

New neural pathways of psychological growth and development in the laundry department are forming every day, however. If you'd like to participate in my somewhat skewed tale of how I've evolved in my approach to laundry - for comparison sake - have at it. Make suggestions for improvement!  I'm willing to add more modifications;  a lot more, in fact.

Monday, June 16, 2014

Prove You're Not a Robot

While posting to a number of blogs, I noticed that the "prove you're not a robot" feature was pretty popular. It's a great idea, actually, even if it requires an extra step.  Why hasn't it caught on with phone technology? I really want this feature on all my phones.  Robots call me all the time.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Then and Now

Hey, it's a bloghop (and I don't even know what that is - yet, I participate).  Am I not the fun flipster, or what?  

All the participants are blogging about a movie that they loved when they were younger, and how they see it differently now.  The movie I chose was Carousel, a 1956 film adaption of the Rogers and Hammerstein stage play.  It starred Shirley Jones and Gordon MacRae.

Versatile Blogger Awards

Thank you, Shady Dell Knight of Shady Dell Music and Memories for nominating me for the Versatile Blogger Award!  Shady is my bestest bloggin' buddy, a virtual blogapedia of conversation and insight.  Danke, SDK.

I've got to try something different today - I don't want to be the uncool blogger (who yelled "too late" just a second ago??).

New to this blog award process, I had to check out the protocol. Apparently, I'm supposed to tell you seven things about me. Perhaps this is good, since nothing on my blog every says anything about me (not).  Well, here goes:

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Snake on a Bike (A Slithering Sequel)

Snakes are a hot topic, if the blog views are any indicator of their (ahem) popularity.  Peeps, they're only here at a rate of one snake per year - and they've been known to skip a year!  My house is pre-snaked for the next 12 months;  it's safe to visit, really it IS.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Why Everyone Needs a Husband (Snake!!!!!)

I've never been crazy about "cookie cutter" houses or subdivisions, but hey!  I'm middle class, baby. That is our biome.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Hacks Are Whack

Why does the website 1000 Life Hacks start with Life Hack #1443?

I'll tell you why; because we overdo everything till we absolutely loathe it. You'd think the title would be self-limiting. Nope.  It is hack's turn to be over used, much like 24/7 is overused when a person wants to indicate "a lot."  Folks are doing it 24/7.

Monday, June 9, 2014

Boys Kill Spider (News at 10)

There's nothing quite like a bunch o' boys;  they're a story in themselves every time they get together.

Friday, June 6, 2014

Dude Directed Products

Let me preface this rant by saying I don't really have any proof, but if the Internet has taught me anything, it's that you don't need to have all your facts straight before you post.

I believe some products were made just to make women miserable.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Scheduling for Tyrant Poodles

Dog lovers, you know how important it is to get your pup on a schedule.  A good schedule;  not a poo-when-you-stand-up schedule or whiz-when-the-wind-blows schedule.  A genuine sleep, eat, walk and empty kidneys/colon schedule.  It really makes a pet enjoyable!

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Problems in Bed

[I'd better not hear that your mind was in the gutter when you read that title;  I'm not that kind of blogger.  Somebody will be sent to stand in the corner.  You know I'll do it.]  

If you think about it, even the most careful individual in the whole world will have at least one injury in their life.  Fortunately, modern healthcare has made tremendous strides in fixing up human bodies. Though we focus on illnesses we can't cure, just think of what we can do.  Consequently, though I have been injured a time or two...or three (okay, between ten and fifteen...but not more than twenty), each and every time, the injury healed and I returned to all the daily activities I did before the injury. Amazing. It gave me that feeling of invincibility that comes with being incredibly short sighted and taking credit for doing nothing tangible.  

Then I arrived on the flipside of fifty.  Every old injury I ever had in my life has come back to haunt me.  Even those that were situated way, way back in the cobwebbed corners of my brain:  they're back.  Aches and pains are silently turning me into "an old lady" or what I envisioned "old lady" was all about.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Magoospeak and Kid Cuteness

Magoo, my middle son, was the cutest kid.  With a head full of blonde hair and sweet smile, the only thing that could possibly make him cuter was the way he talked.  He struggled with the pronunciations of several letters or letter combinations, I guess I should say.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Debilitating Kardashianism

Dear Kardashian Family:

Thank you for being the focus of the media that floods my world with pictures of everything you do, everywhere you go, every flipping day.