A Memphis woman has been banned from the Memphis Zoo after she jumped the barrier and entered the lion enclosure to give it (wait for it...) a cookie. Nothing crazy; just jumped into the lion's den. This was not the first time the woman had done that. Clearly, she was certain that lions wanted cookies, lest you think this was an impulsive act. With appropriate forethought, she made sure she was a member of the Memphis Zoo - as we all know, membership has it's privileges...sadly, feeding lions dessert isn't one of them.
And why not, the public cries? Why not?
Zoo officials, have you acted rashly?
If you've ever seen the Disney movie, Snow White, you know what is going on in Lion Lady's head. In her mind, little birds are flying around her head and she is one with nature. Specifically, I'm thinking of the scene where she is singing to the little birds, bunnies and chipmunks and makes the comment, "Please don't run away...You don't know what I've been through...and all because I was afraid."
Lion Lady realized that it was totally unreasonable to separate herself from the lions and let her fear keep her from communing with the darling animals of the forests of Memphis. Who would stand up and give them cookies? Cruel zookeepers, dressed like Angelina Jolie in Maleficent, hide in the dark recesses of the zoo buildings, plotting and planning their dastardly dietary deeds. Carefully, they measure out the desired portions of lions' daily diet, all prescribed by trained veterinarians posing as animal lovers.
Have you ever seen a veterinarian's picture on a box of cookies? Of course not. There's a reason for that - because they don't want animals to have fun, junk food or delicious desserts. They have an agenda. Vaccines, neutering, chemicals applied to rid fleas - and all animals walking around without heartworm. Does any of that sound like fun? How do the heartworms feel about the exclusion?
Lion Lady knew better. Her mentor, Handless Pete, encouraged her efforts and suggested she start with a simple store-bought chocolate chip cookie. Armed and crumby, she went about the task of promoting dessert before dinner and jumped in the enclosure. Zoo workers reported the Lion Lady was heard singing to the lions about how much she had missed them (and you thought the Snow White reference was nutty...shame on you).
True fact: The lions totally backed away from her. I'm guessing they don't like cookies with nuts.
[Afterthought: Memphis is known for barbecue, Lion Lady. Do your culinary homework.]