Monday, June 16, 2014

Prove You're Not a Robot



While posting to a number of blogs, I noticed that the "prove you're not a robot" feature was pretty popular. It's a great idea, actually, even if it requires an extra step.  Why hasn't it caught on with phone technology? I really want this feature on all my phones.  Robots call me all the time.

Okay, not technically robots - but definitely robo-caller recordings that fill up my voice mailbox. The "do not call" list should know me pretty well, at this point.

Not a lot of faith and good will between the "do not call" list and yours truly.  The robo-calls ring through and to add insult to injury, they are never relevant.

In the past, when humans made phone solicitations, our most efficient approach involved my husband answering and interrupting the caller's by screaming, "WE HAVE NO MONEY."  It was a clever and resourceful avenue; I urge you to try it. That did the trick nicely.

Most recently, I'm plagued by "exciting opportunities" and "last chance" offers.  

Frequently, I pick up the phone and hear: "Do you want to decrease your credit card interest rate?  This is your final chance..."   Oh, if only it were so.

No. I don't pay interest; it is part of my impish appeal.  Robo-caller, if you really have access to my credit card account, you already know this and are hip to my lack-o-interest payment history. Why would I want to talk to you to lower my interest rate, which currently stands at zero?

Are you calling to say that if I respond, you will allow me to charge $100 - but actually pay back only $78?  Seriously, a negative 22% interest rate is probably the only thing that might arouse my mental interest.  Otherwise, quit calling me.  

And don't be such a coward, robo-caller instigators - put a real person on the line from the get-go! We already have our person to person system worked out and road tested!  [Refer to paragraph four, please...]

This is where my inspiration for "prove you're not a robot, phone version" springs forth.  If there was a key pad code and the caller had to replicate it to complete the call, that would do the trick.

[Ring!  Ring!]

"Thank you for calling CHERDO ON THE FLIPSIDE.  At the prompt, please enter the following code to complete the connection.  You have 5 seconds before the call will disconnect, so please act promptly.  

Characters are case sensitive.  Please enter the code now:

195coco1JklumpGXH38splat1V2VjuggernautV333sc3yoyofr6s214magoo123g6a1gbb6XgonzoLKAblehNDNAdr53hubzammya3aaZZa345fZ1arantsnarkasaurusarooni6e515j46g5j1flipsterk6h1dj63d113261_CHERDO.  "

[Beeeeeepppp!]

"I'm sorry. Please try again later. Have a nice day." 

Click.

7 comments:

  1. Klaatu barada nikto, Cherdo!
    (That's robot for happy Monday to you!)

    I'm sure you noticed that my blog does not have a "prove you're not a robot' feature. You see, I actually welcome robot comments because I get so few from humans. I am hoping that my warm replies to robot comments will warm their circuitry and gain me a few BFF's. So desperate am I to make new friends that I recently launched an all-out campaign to attract spammers to my blog. Spam friends are REAL friends! :)

    I am also besieged by junk telephone calls. A recent phone appeal tugged at my heartstrings. I was asked to donate money to "Save Our Celebrities," an organization that pays parking tickets for bad boy/girl celebs and bails them out of jail when they are arrested for parole violations, D.U.I. fender benders, nightclub brawls and paparazzi punching. I emptied my entire bank account to support that worthy cause!

    It's good to see you, dear friend Cherdo. I hope you had a nice weekend and I wish you a happy week ahead!

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  2. Happy belated Father's Day, dear SDK! Just hopped off SDM&M where I was visiting this morning.

    Do I detect a Klaatu reference? (http://www.klaatu.org/) Or are you afraid that the Earth just stood still? Michael Rennie told me to tell you that.

    Have a great day. ;-)

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  3. I still receive some phone calls from human beings who want me to donate to this and get car insurance from that. I enjoy coming up with a different approach with each caller. Sometimes I'm the housekeeper and Mrs. is not at home. Sometimes I don't speak English, and the language I do speak is unrecognizable. Sometimes I say, No. no no nononononononono . . . and nothing else. I don't don't receive many calls these days, but I have fun with the few I get.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. Talk slower, Janie, I'm taking notes....

      Love, Cherdo

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  4. Yeah...when they get lazy and start having computerized telemarketing, they've taken away the last excuse we have not to hang up immediately. We feel guilty hanging up on a real person...notsomuch a robot! I have to say, all we have are our cell phones and unless I know who's calling, I don't answer. If there's a number, I Google it to see what the scam is. I rarely get calls on my cell phone, though.

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    Replies
    1. I'm starting to see a few on the cell phone, my last vestige of privacy, as of late...I never answer the unknown caller now.

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Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo