Monday, July 28, 2014

50 Shades of Nay

In the novel Fifty Shades of Grey, by British author E. L. James, billionaire Christian Grey finds himself attracted to college graduate, Anastasia Steele.

The only thing I like about this book is that Anastasia Steele graduated from college and found a job.

Preemptively, I've been told I may be prudish or that I just need to read the whole series, yada yada yada. That's not going to happen because putting more money in E.L. James' hand will just encourage her to write more. The bottom line is that I resent any of the overt sexual antics that just whacks the intimacy out of intimacy.

You're going to have to be okay with me having an opinion that veers away from the popular trend, great big world. 

So, girls, I've got a good idea of the content of this book, and I started to give fifty reasons why I will never jump on the bandwagon.  As a compromise, I'll just lay out half of my shades of nay:
  1. Did I read this book? Nay. My only exposure was a brief review in the book store and the feedback of other women. And, by the way, good grief - stop telling me about this book, women. It's totally not my cup of tea. Why do you care what I think? I can't validate your actions on this one. Come back to me when you feel guilty about eating too many brownies; then, I'm your rationalization pal.
  2. Picking up this book a few years back and flipping through the pages made me feel like a victim of the old bait and switch; I thought it was a romance novel. Nope; porn.
  3. Is there any redeeming porn? Nay. Who is trying to spread that manure?
  4. Is there such a thing as "a little pornographic" literature? Nay. Soft porn is still porn. 
  5. Is it romantic? Nay. I think it's disrespectful to women. I'd hate for any daughter of mine to think this is something to strive for - ew.
  6. This book would infer that love and pain are related? Nay. You wouldn't think that if I slapped you or whipped you a happy birthday. You'd regret missing out on the cake.
  7. Our society already tries to re-victimize rape victims; is it time to glorify it? Nay. Forcing someone to do anything does not equal a relationship.
  8. Is there anything special about this relationship?  Nay. Criminal?  Maybe. It's disrespectful to relationships.
  9. A bondage love story? Nay. Since when has bondage been romantic?
  10. A sadistic love story? Nay. Since when has sadism been romantic?
  11. A masochistic love story? Nay. Since when has masochism been romantic?
  12. (I'm on a roll now) Love equals punishment and submission? Nay. Since when has that ever been romantic?
  13. I don't know anyone whose bedroom antics should be literature. Nay. It's not even believable without mentioning tube socks or jammies.
  14. I'm told there are some "contracts" involved. Great. Another thing you don't want in the bedroom: a legal team.
  15. If you're doing things in exchange for sex...well, isn't that illegal in most states?
  16. Anorexia, anyone? Nay. I understand Mr. Grey forces this young gal to stay slender. I have clothes that wish they could do that for me.
  17. Spanking, anyone? Nay. We don't even want parents to spank children for bad behavior. Those moms and dads are accused of child abuse - but this is okay? I can't keep track of the prevailing standards.
  18. My friend commented, "If you read it, it would change the way you think about it."  Nay. I'm pretty comfy right where I stand.
  19. Polytheism? Nay. Actually, I'm just cracking up that the girl talks about her "inner goddess."
  20. Do I really have any excess time blocked out for junk? Nay.
  21. Will the public shut up about it? Nay. Some adult will leave this laying around for teens to read and there will be endless articles about it OR...
  22. Some adult will think this is fine for teens to read and there will be endless articles about it OR...
  23. Some parent group with complain that this isn't in the library and there will be endless articles about it OR...
  24. Some parent group will complain that it is in some library and there will be endless articles about it OR...
  25. Some blogger will rant about the constant barrage of hype about this book. Oops! That's me.

Let me close with these quotes (thank you, Google, 'cause I'm not buying the book...):

“Business is all about people, Miss Steele, and I’m very good at judging people. I know how they tick, what makes them flourish, what doesn’t, what inspires them, and how to incentivise them.”  
                                                                                    ~  Christian Grey, in Fifty Shades of Grey

"NAY. All evidence to the contrary."  ~   Cherdo


  1. I don't plan to read it either. I love the clip-on tie graphic!

  2. Sounds like one an interesting spin off.

  3. Nay. I thought a woman wrote that book. Willy Dunne Wooters didn't read the book, but he read a description of it online and relayed the information to me. We agree that it sounds hideous and is not our cup of coffee, nor is it a topping on our pizza.


    1. It was a female author, which for me is a double whammy.

      I saw a funny graphic where someone posted a picture of her real husband and said something like, "every time you read about Christian Grey (the character), think about this face (the real husband, a normal smoe)."

  4. We did a couple posts on this 50 Shades phenomenon at the Sisterhood blog, and this was our consensus: no thanks. I have maybe 1 friend out of all my girlfriends who has admitted to reading this dreck and *liking* it. I know no writers who like it.

    Love your list!

    1. I love the fact that your friends DON'T like it. The vast majority of my gal-pals give it a major thumbs down, but the holdouts want me on their side, for some reason. That would be a futile task, on their part.

      Thanks, Stephanie! I always appreciate your views!


Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo