Monday, July 14, 2014

Wipe That Smile Off Your Face

Frequently, I've had occasion to read the long, complicated instructions and warnings that accompany medications, chemicals, cleaning products and even mechanical items requiring assembly. Okay, okay...I get it. There are risks, especially in the case of medications and chemical type concoctions. Someone could get hurt for reasons that never entered their minds until they read the all important package insert, assuming they actually did that before they got a rash, burning sensation or ate the small pieces they needed to complete assembly of some household item.

The advertisement placement above gave me pause.

After grabbing my shopping cart at the "Major Retail Store," the Cherdo germ-o-creepy warning system went off and my phobic rejection of human germs kicked in to tell me that unattended cart bound children had most definitely chewed on the handy dandy shopping cart handle. Of course, I was happy to partake of the convenient sanitation wipes....whaaaa?? I stopped and looked at the advertisement about the wipes.

Everything about this sign made me think it was referring to the wipes in the blue container - at first glance. The note below that advised me I could find this "dental wipe" near the dental floss just made me look around the sign to see where they stuck dental floss.

Four or five things on my shopping list (that I really needed!) were forgotten as I wandered the store distracted by the thought that I would turn the corner and see Jimmy Joe Juggs* cleaning his dentures in the aisle with one of the shopping cart wipes. Truthfully, everyone that had a shiny smile caused me to sniff the air around them for a telltale lemon plus rubbing alcohol scent. 

Yeah; I'm weird. It's exhausting being me. Somebody has to worry about this stuff. 

[*If you're name IS Jimmy Joe Juggs, and you DO clean your dentures in the "Major Retail Store" with the cart handle wipes, this is just a coincidental post. I meant the fictional, non-slanderous dental scrubbin' Jimmy Joe Juggs, of course. I just like alliteration.]


  1. Good morning, dear Cherdo! I hope you're feeling much better at this hour, my special friend.

    Negatory, Cherdo, I am not Jimmy Joe Juggs but, FYI...
    Danger is my middle name, baby - YEAH!

    What a coincidence that you mentioned Jimmy Joe Juggs! I used to date his sister Ginny Jo Juggs! :)

    I was never germophobic before... not until I read your post. It put a scare into me. Now I'm a little worried about some of my lifestyle choices. Just to be on the safe side, I intend to stop the practice of licking toilet seats in train stations and bus terminals. :) It might take a while longer for me to kick the habit of sucking on those tasty cart handles in my favorite Major Retail Store.

    I agree that the juxtaposition of the dental wipes advertisement and the hand sanitation wipes was confusing. Imagine the hijinks that would ensue if they had placed that sign next to a pyramid of bathroom tissue!

    I hope you are returning to 100% snarkiness by now, dear friend Cherdo, and I wish you a happy Monday!

    1. Does Danger come before or after Del? Can I just use D to the second power? Why doesn't blogger allow me to make that exponent sign?

      I'm not so much an all around germophobe, I just hate people germs. That made for an interesting nursing career. Perhaps it was because I encountered more nasty people germs that one should in a single lifetime. Maybe I'm just "germ aware." that I am germ aware, I still don't want any of that funkiness.

      Maybe I WILL use the wipes on my teeth. Smiling and shiney!

  2. I am the real Jimmy Joe Juggs. How did you learn of my denture cleaning habits?

    Janie Jimmy Joe Juggs.

  3. That IS a little confusing, isn't it? Plus...why does someone who wears dentures need wipes? We don't have wipes for our teeth...we just brush them. Don't dentures soak overnight?

    1. Just one more reason why my Hubzam and I have a "teeth are NOT optional" clause in our wedding vows.

  4. Thank god for instructions or I'd be using my hair dryer in the shower and constantly holding the curling iron by the hot end.


Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo