I love stories that come out of nowhere and truly have a surprise twist. Technically, I guess it came out of Ibiza, Spain; but I digress. If I could just figure out what it is that makes one story more newsworthy than another in the collective consciousness of people. I'd be rich.
Example number one: Mr. Orlando Jonathan Blanchard Bloom, English actor and middle Earth hotsy totsy and Bored of the Rings. Apparently, Mr. Bloom decided to deck one Mr. Justin Drew Bieber, Canadian singer-songwriter and cranky young turk.
The media has just taken off with this; it's crazy. Without even paying attention, I'm willing to bet I heard this story ten times. Using my super Google powers, I did a quick search to determine whether this was the big deal everyone made it.
A quick search of the terms, "orlando bloom justin bieber" turned up a mere 49,600,000 hits. Any more than fits in my living room equals a big deal. That would be a tight squeeze.
Why is this news? Maybe there's something that has been left out.
- Did Orlando slug Justin because Justin was building tunnels in Gaza? WHAMMO! I understand. That is a hot issue.
- Perhaps they were walking by each other in the restaurant when they realized that they had vastly different political views. POW! There you go! If I had a nickel for every time that happened!
- Did Justin purchase the sweet, sweet fashion that Orlando had planned to buy? Did he ruin his grand party entrance? KER-POWERONI! You know that the two of you can't wear the same outfit to the same restaurant. Someone, disrobe. Jealousy is not cool. You're British, man; your accent makes everything you say sound polite. You can do this.
- Was a naughty little something said, as various entertainment news talking heads inferred? SCHWAPP! Oh, Justin; respect your elders. Tell Orlando you are sorry...come on, now. Hug it out, boys.
If you have a "Deport Bieber" bumper sticker, it's back in vogue.
[Insert large, flipsider smirk here.] I'll never understand celebrity. Boost 'em up high, slap 'em down low. None are as great as we claim nor as bad as we quickly assert. People are fickle.