Thursday, August 7, 2014

Pow! Celebrity Booster Shot for Orlando



I love stories that come out of nowhere and truly have a surprise twist. Technically, I guess it came out of Ibiza, Spain; but I digress. If I could just figure out what it is that makes one story more newsworthy than another in the collective consciousness of people. I'd be rich.

Example number one: Mr. Orlando Jonathan Blanchard Bloom, English actor and middle Earth hotsy totsy and Bored of the Rings. Apparently, Mr. Bloom decided to deck one Mr. Justin Drew Bieber, Canadian singer-songwriter and cranky young turk.


The media has just taken off with this; it's crazy. Without even paying attention, I'm willing to bet I heard this story ten times. Using my super Google powers, I did a quick search to determine whether this was the big deal everyone made it.

A quick search of the terms, "orlando bloom justin bieber" turned up a mere 49,600,000 hits. Any more than fits in my living room equals a big deal. That would be a tight squeeze.

Why is this news? Maybe there's something that has been left out. 

  • Did Orlando slug Justin because Justin was building tunnels in Gaza? WHAMMO! I understand. That is a hot issue. 
  • Perhaps they were walking by each other in the restaurant when they realized that they had vastly different political views. POW! There you go! If I had a nickel for every time that happened!
  • Did Justin purchase the sweet, sweet fashion that Orlando had planned to buy? Did he ruin his grand party entrance? KER-POWERONI! You know that the two of you can't wear the same outfit to the same restaurant. Someone, disrobe. Jealousy is not cool. You're British, man; your accent makes everything  you say sound polite. You can do this.
  • Was a naughty little something said, as various entertainment news talking heads inferred? SCHWAPP! Oh, Justin; respect your elders. Tell Orlando you are sorry...come on, now.  Hug it out, boys.
What topped off this story nicely was the number of people who were giving Orlando a brand, spanking new high five and a virtual pat on the back.  Poppin' the Bieb is apparently cause for celebration and an instant celebrity boost.

If you have a "Deport Bieber" bumper sticker, it's back in vogue.

[Insert large, flipsider smirk here.]  I'll never understand celebrity. Boost 'em up high, slap 'em down low. None are as great as we claim nor as bad as we quickly assert. People are fickle.

6 comments:

  1. I'm gonna hafta find a way to use kerpoweroni in conversation, stat.

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  2. I saw this news item and Leonardo Dicaprio brushing him off at the same event. Real stars don't seem to care for him.

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  3. I don't know much about what goes on in the "celebrity" world, but even I heard about this brouhaha. I think I've seen Orlando Bloom in two movies, but maybe just one. He seems talented, as is Leonardo DiCaprio. I think DiCaprio can even be put in the category of artist, rather than mere celebrity. As for Justin Bieber, I am tired of the little bit of news I see focusing on his assholery. Although I would like to punch him myself, more important shenanigans go on in the world. My gosh, I miss Shady. Will he be back soon? He always has something hilariously intelligent to say.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. Well said. I want to rant every time this petty stuff grabs the headlines. There's big problems in the world.

      That is so funny that you mentioned Shady - I was thinking the same thing. He's had enough vacation. Come home, Shady!! I need some professional wisecracking. Wouldn't he be pleased that we missed him? His head will triple in size. I don't care, we need him on board, ha ha.

      Love,
      Cherdo

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  4. I'm sure a lot of people want to punch Justin Bieber. He's rather obnoxious.

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Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo