Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Tuesday Newsday: Criminals

While sitting in my car at the stoplight, a strange feeling came over me as I looked at the sky above and realized I was surrounded by thousands of birds perched on every available telephone wire. A tornado of feathers swirled overhead. What was going on? Tippi Hedren was nowhere to be seen, nor Alfred Hitchcock...I knew it must be:  TUESDAY NEWSDAY.

Each day, as I indulge my news addiction, a few stories jump off the page and make me do a double take.  To be fair, these gems didn't get enough discussion for me, so let's look at them again. 

Apparently, today's theme is crime and the young. 

  • Are criminals getting smarter - or are corrections officers just getting duller? I ask this because one of the county's finest released a 22-year-old felon who was posing as a 62-year-old inmate. With a dash of incarcerated inspiration, the young criminal upstart pasted his picture on the older inmate's identification card and called his gal pal and told her to arrange bail. She called the bail bond company and asked for them to make bail for the older inmate, who was in the mini-slammer for a minor misdemeanor charge. Young gangsta then filled out all the paperwork under the older inmate's name. Bail paid, off he went in to the wilds...for about five hours, after which, he was caught. It was the second time he had attempted an escape that month.  [As you wander about, focus on the 62-year-olds and 22-year-olds you meet. Would you confuse the two?  Wasn't that the corrections officers main job skill - to keep them in jail?]
  • Once again, animal love wins out over common sense, when a 24-year-old Californian woman decided to climb into the giraffe exhibit at the zoo in Madison, Wisconsin. Noting that something wasn't quite right, an observant 2-year-old, 12 foot giraffe named Wally investigated and gave the lady a lick. I want to say that Wally wanted to neck, but I have too much pride. After the introductory lick, Wally promptly turned around and kicked her in the face. Zoo officials said she was lucky; giraffes have been known to kill lions. Doesn't this sound a bit like another story on this blog:  Big Kitty Wants a Cookie? Is there a public service announcement in our future that will explain why zoo animals are in enclosures? Some people don't understand the concept.
  • In Seattle, a 21-year-old girl called 911 to report a 20-year-old guy was following her. The police followed up and determined that the guy was following the girl because she had stolen his cell phone. She was arrested.
  • Rikers' prisoners rioted last week when their bedtime (lights out) was changed from 11:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. Some commentators suggested they were angry that they didn't get to watch their favorite show on television.  What is this, a prison?
If I go to prison for jumping into a zoo enclosure, I'm going to use a stolen cell phone to call my baby for bail, enjoy a few hours of freedom and get back for an early bedtime. I'm all about that life.


  1. Good morning, dear Cherdo! I'm a news junkie, too. One of my guilty pleasures is following the never ending stream of spot news and features presented on HLN. (Mark my words. Lynn Berry will be the next Mrs. Shady.)

    Yessum, it's quite possible to confuse a 62 year old with a 22 year old. It explains why I am often mistaken for Nick Jonas. :)

    I can relate to the second story about the woman climbing into the giraffe pen. The introductory lick... the kick in the face... that's how Mrs. Shady and I make whoopee! :)

    I don't blame those Rikers' inmates for staging an uprising to protest an earlier bedtime schedule. I'd throw a hissy, too, if I had to miss Orange is the New Black! :)

    Thanks for bringing us all the news that's unfit to print, dear friend Cherdo! Enjoy your Tuesday!

  2. I'm pondering regular features as I dive back into the school year with the chillun' - Mommy Monday, Tuesday Newsday, etc. If I weren't so flaky, I'd give it a go! If I make a rule for myself, then I'd want to break it one day, and I can't live with that disappointment.

    In the near future, we will see someone junk in a touristy aquarium for Shark week. All I ask is that someone take a video - is that too much?

    Have a great day and give a hug to Mrs. Shady!

  3. I'd say it's the corrections officers. Pay is lousy and, over the years, while the rest of the world's pay has gone up, government/public employees' pay has remained pretty much stagnant. So the quality of workers is on the decline. I say this as someone who worked in government from 1993-2013 and personally saw this sad decline...

    1. Oh, I've worked for the ole' gov, too. There's a lot of wisdom in your take on things, Stephanie...

  4. Why would a prisoner lie to get out of jail? It's just dishonest I tell you, and shows you can't trust anyone these days.

  5. This is my first time here and I arrived at a good time. If I am ever homeless and without hope, I want to be incarcerated. It can't be all that bad. People actually kill to get in there!!!

    1. I'll get you your own lock and key, Lotta Joy. I'm a giver.


Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo