Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Television...Instant Conversation Starter

Today was busy! My basic schedule had to be thrown aside, and by late afternoon I was in a moderate sized state of control-freak angst. My mental to-do list was mentally crunched up and thrown in the mental trash.

Finally, night time. I recharge at night. Hubzam goes to bed earlier than I do; he gets up earlier. Gonzo had been totally quiet all even and was engrossed in something on his electronic device of the moment. 

One of my late night habits is to watch YouTube videos of BBC documentaries or funny, topical clips. I love BuzzFeed shorts, and I had seen "6 Harmless Office Pranks" the night before; Gonzo will love this, I thought as I watched. Smirking Kevin McShane, we are kindred spirits. Follow the link and watch it...it's much funnier than anything I'll write tonight (spoiler). 

Working through the list, McShane is shown setting up each prank, followed by the unsuspecting office worker-victim experiencing the full frustration of it. They're harmless, which is another aspect that appeals to me. The best part is the appearance of the smirking Kevin McShane in the background of each scene. 

"Gonzo, you've got to watch this," I announce. 

Through the wonders of the smart TV (is that what you call it?), I start the video. The title is still in frame when Gonzo starts talking: "Mom, let me tell you what happened on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia."

I stop the clip.

Gonzo launches into a detailed explanation of a scene; the boy is wordy. Unnecessarily wordy. And I was in the room when he watched the show. Finally, he finishes his play by play. 

I start the clip.

"Hey, Mom, did you ever see that show where..."

I stop the clip and I'm not even trying not to have the poker face of death. My hands hold my head in a death grip; I pull out small tufts of hair and emit a low growl because I'm in the middle of a Gonzo tale once more. There are many, many pauses and over use of the words "like" and "so anyway." I silently vow to make him copy the SAT word list. 

I re-start the clip.

"Mom, what do we have to do tomorrow - is there anywhere we have to go?"

As he starts his verbal list of things he wants to do tomorrow, I'm having trouble believing that we can't get through a clip that lasts all of a minute and a half.  All I can think of is the fact that all night, no one wanted to chat, talk or commiserate. There has to be a magical connection between the television and my son's voice box. It's his special telepathic ability.

And darn if he isn't still talking; just yakking it up.

"OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD...that's it. I'm bloggin' you tonight," I cry out of exasperation. Sure, I had another subject in mind...but not now.

"And I'm blacking out your teeth."  (Guess you'll have to see Teeth Matter to get that one.)

We both started laughing; it quickly turned into the big, silent laugh where you start to tear up and can't speak. I struggle to keep from sounding like the cartoon dog, Mutley. I'm not very successful. When he went to bed, I kissed him goodnight and told him I'd be up soon to smother him with a pillow. 

Oh, come on, I'm joking about the pillow.  But I was serious about the blogging. A gal has to have somewhere to go that's quiet and private - like the Internet.


  1. Good morning, dear Cherdo!

    I've bellied up to the computer and there's a large, ripening banana under my desk. Know that I mean, Vern? (BA-DUM-BUMP)

    Yessum, I watched the video and remember many times over the years when I and my colleagues did our fair share to reduce American productivity in the workplace by staging juvenile pranks. My specialty was planting fake rubber vomits and dog poops in strategic locations such as inside the lunch room refrigerator or on the desk of the CEO. Gales of laughter ensued! (I laughed all the way to the unemployment office.)

    This post reminds me of Mrs. Shady. Every time I want to talk to her she turns into Mount Rushmore, stone faced, refusing to communicate, She tunes me out because she's busy crocheting and she's silently "counting." I'm counting on you or one of your readers to explain what she's counting (her blessings perhaps?) and why it places a Cone of Silence around her for hours.

    Yet, the minute I sit down to watch one of my favorite television programs, Mrs. Shady decides she wants to chat and launches into a day long filibuster.

    You wrote: << I kissed him goodnight and told him I'd be up soon to smother him with a pillow.>>

    Thank you for putting the mother in smother, Mommie Dearest, and thanks for putting a (toothless) grin on my face. Have a terrific Tuesday, Cherdo!

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    1. I'm sorry, Cherdo. Your offer is flattering but the answer is still no. I cannot and will not meet you on the observation deck of the Empire State Building on Valentine's Day!

    2. You kill me. I can only laugh so much in a day...

      I had to explain the tie in to the flick to Gonzo, ha ha. Silly teenager. Get movie skooled.

  3. Mrs. Shady is one of those smart crocheters who actually can use a pattern (she's counting stitches). If (and it's a big if) I crochet, I have to have silence, too - but in my case, it's because I'm not that good at it and I have to pay attention or it will just look like a yarn wad. There is a crocheting gene that runs in our family...it jumped right over me.

    As coffee spewed out my nose, I displayed for appreciation for "putting the mother in smother." You're just gonna have to take my word for it, ha ha.

    Go and subdue! Have a great day, SDK!

  4. Large, ripening banana under the desk. Large. Ripening. Banana. Large, ripening banana under the desk. It won't go away. The image will not go away. Large, ripening banana. Okay, let's try one more time: large, ri . . .
    I'm FREE! I've broken away from the image of the large, ripening banana. Uh-oh. I'm back. Large, ripening banana. Gonzo. Gonzo. Gonzo. Gonzo will go away some day. You will wish he would interrupt while you watch a video. Well, maybe not. Large, ripening . . .


    1. No question about it, Janie. I got your colon on my mind - PERIOD.

    2. Janie, Gonzo is the best - he laughs at our craziness just as much as I do. As he is my youngest, I know all too well that one day, he will be on his own.

      Why do I feel like I need to send you a fruit basket.

  5. It's sweet that Gonzo wanted to talk to you as much as he did, actually. :)

    1. The television is magic. (He is a sweet boy. My middle son is super sweet, too. My oldest is hilarious and you can't help but love him. I could do a lot worse).

  6. Will Smith had it backwards. Children, they just don't understand!

  7. I always feel the need to escape yakkers.

    Fun video. I'm glad I don't work with pranksters.


Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo