In every lifetime, there comes an opportunity to open the windows of your mind...to venture into areas previously unexplored...to embrace the new. And so, weary of my complacent existence, I signed up for Mock Squid Soup: Space Battleship Yamoto.
Each month, The Armchair Squid and MOCK! host a bloghop devoted to a particular film. Use those links to see the other members of this blog hop, because I didn't get the code this month. Perhaps they guessed my movie review outcome. Clever, clever...
This month's film was:
Title: Space Battleship Yamato
Director: Takashi Yamazaki
Original Release: 2010
My Overall Rating: Oh, Squid-san, please don't make me watch it again. I don't have the stars...
Favorite translated quote: "Suffocation doesn't hurt."
Not that I think it's the truth, because this movie was painfully long as it sucked air and all the will to live from my body. Spoiler alert: you'll learn nothing of value from my review.
My gut response to any review attempt is to get a mental outline of the pros and cons, find some of my favorites and some things that didn't work, and proceed. Unfortunately, my mental outline looked like this:
- Ship...space cannon fire...who is fighting with who?...
- Why are they so excited...
- Look, it's Halley's Comet...oh, nevermind...
- Why are they wearing navy-like hats...is anyone named McHale-san or Gilligan-san?
- What is the main conflict?...
- If the Gamilas are wiping out some, why didn't they just wipe out all of them, so I can make a cup of coffee?...must aliens throw their message capsules? Aren't they just a wee bit more advanced than a space-fling?
- Hey, is that ship a space submarine? That might be interesting. "In the town where I was born, lived a man, who sailed to sea, and he told us of his life, in the land of submarines..." Oh, wait, I'm still watching this movie. Shazzbatt.
- Oh, dear Lord, Kodai had a son?? Please don't do a sequel.
Takuya Kimura, I agree you are a fine looking man and I can see that you'd be a hit with all the ladies of the land of the rising sun. It's just the movie that I despised. That's all.
Squid and Mock...I still love you and I'll be 'round next month.
To my friend, Hiromasa Tetsuya of Japan, I ask this question:
Naze, kono eiga wa totemo subarashīdesu?