Monday, November 10, 2014

Politician Upgrade: A Brilliant Two-Step Process

While discussing the somewhat disappointing world of politics this morning (yikes!), my friend - who I shall call BB - had the two best ideas I've ever heard. His ideas have the potential to improve our political process and allow us to regain some confidence in the people we elect. Call it a politician upgrade. 

Dumbstruck at its simple brilliance, I literally looked at him and said, "You are a genius and I'm going to blog that."

Step 1:

Require all politicians to take a vow of truthfulness and follow up with perjury charges the minute it is determined that they were dishonest to their constituents.

The first thought that came to mind is "why hold them to a higher standard than anyone else?"

Well, for starters, they represent so many of us and their decisions are far reaching. We need all the clarity, transparency and truthfulness we can get. Frankly, some days it doesn't seem like we're getting much. If you don't want public trust to erode and you know the public is depending on your answers, you better make sure you are giving them correct information.  

And while we focus on the important issues, steer clear from the non-important-none-of-your-business details. We have to quit tearing them apart for every little detail of their private life, unless it involves an abuse of the public trust. If your kid was caught smoking pot in high school - you have a problem, but it doesn't have anything to do with me. Parenting has a lot of bumps in the road (or potholes). On the other hand, if you paid off a judge to fix that little problem for your homegrown darling - I have a huge problem with that.

I can't really complain about my local representation at the time being, I'm pretty content with them. If I have questions, though, I expect them to be just as congenial as they were when they were campaigning. 

Step 2:
Require all politicians to wear brand stickers for every business or special interest group that provided money for their campaign - think NASCAR. 

What would be wrong with knowing exactly who put money in the political coffers or pockets every single time you looked at your representative (that's everyone: senator, president, etc.)? I realize that this information is available by law, but it's not as easily accessed as I'd like it to be. Put that front and center!

Picture yourself discussing the real issues of your community or state with your peruse his (or her) many logos and bumper stickers he (or she) is now required to note something that seems a conflict of interest between his jacket and his pants. Now, the good questions can really begin. 

And don't forget, we pursue perjury...

I think my friend is a genius.  This is almost better than term limits - no waiting time.


  1. (I'm Shecky Shady and I approved this message)




    (I agree with everything you wrote, dear Cherdo,
    but it makes me feel important when I shout those words.)

    Good morning, dear friend!

    I've decided to run for president in '16. Over the weekend
    I threw my hat in the ring (and got a fine for littering).

    Mrs. Shady can testify that I am a man of transparency.
    (She claims she can see right through me.)

    I asked a wealthy constituent to grease my palm.
    (Anybody gotta bar of Lava soap?)

    If elected I'll bring prostitutes to their knees.

    Let's not make the mistake of putting lipstick on a pig...
    (unless we remember the eye shadow, mascara and blush).

    If elected I promise to erect a sign on the 50 yard line of
    the stadium where the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' play
    that reads: "The Bucs Stop Here."

    I ask you to remember my campaign slogan:
    "Tippecanoe and Tyler Too"

    Mission accomplished! I am not a crook...
    and remember, the only thing we have to fear is...
    Shecky Shady getting elected.

    Happy Monday, dear friend Cherdo!

    1. Best line: >>it makes me feel important when I shout those words.<<

      Bwahahahahahahaha....mark my words, I feel I may steal that line. You've been notified. Have your people call my people.

      Shecky Shady, there's one thing that comes to mind when I hear about your campaign:


      My great-great grandpa had the nickname of Tippecanoe - you don't want him as part of your team! At this point, he'd be no help (dead weight).

      Can I do the campaign posters? Go back over my blog illustrations and decide who you want to be and I'll cartoon you to a nomination! Janie can man the phones. She'd be so sweet to the naysayers (in other words, she'd probably pound them...).

      I'll contribute all the money I made from this blog post to your campaign. The check is in the mail.

      Have a great Monday, dear!

    2. >>... "Require all politicians to take a vow of truthfulness and follow up with perjury charges the minute it is determined that they were dishonest to their constituents."

      Who is going to file the perjury charge and bring the lawsuit? If the suspect is a Democrat, his/her fellow Democrats will circle the wagons and obstruct the proceedings until they are killed. Ditto if the suspect is a Republican. Each party will protect one of its own members.

      Will one of us "wee, little people" get to bring the perjury charges? I think not. If the little people really could be heard by the Federal Courts and bring charges against a lying politician, then Obama would have been bounced out of the White House years ago for presenting We The People with a blatantly forged government document (i.e., his totally bogus long-form birth certificate).

      It's a nice thought though, but I'm too much of a realist to think it would have a snowball's chance in Phoenix of working.

      Besides, all politicians ALREADY swear an oath to uphold and protect the U.S. Constitution, with impeachment and removal being the threat against those who fail to keep true to that oath.
      Q-1: When was the last time you saw a politician remain true to the Constitution?
      Q-2: When was the last time you saw a politician impeached and removed due to transgressing the Constitution - the "supreme law of the land"?

      I rest my case.

      However, Shecky Shady Shaft's line "The Bucs stop here" is a classic!

      ~ D-FensDogg
      'Loyal American Underground'

    3. You and I are going to file the perjury charge and bring the lawsuit! (Actually, I think a D.A. has to file perjury charges. Let's get them in on it. Put them in the slammer if they don't do their job.)

      A girl can dream, can't she, Stephen?

  2. They would all be in jail for perjury:) I love the nascar idea-that would really put them on the spot in so many ways

  3. Some probably wouldn't have enough space on their garments to list all the companies!

    1. They'd have to start wearing bridal trains or large capes.

  4. I like the stickers and buttons idea--whatever they need to wear to show off their supporters, including a jock strap. Honesty? Are you out of your mind? I just want one business with which I interact to tell me the truth. All I ask is for one business to be honest. And that is too much. "We" re-elected Rick Scott as our governor. He is quite a crook. Could you please do something about him and his creepy bald head? He looks kinda like an alien. An illegal one.


    1. Governor Rick's "I am not a crook" speech is on C-SPAN at 9 tonight!

    2. HHHHAAAAAAAAAA....Governor Rick "I'm Not a Crook" Scott...I have to check him out.

      What is it with Richards claiming they are not crooks? It's so...crooked.

  5. Well put! I get so frustrated with politicians. They have so much power and many of them don't use it wisely.

    1. I just want a thimble full of that too much to ask?

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  7. One of the most engaging and beguiling site that I read as of late.Joseph Hayon


Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo