Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Tuesday Newsday: Look Closer


The news that catches my eye merges together in a huddled mass and forms Tuesday Newsday. Let's look closer:

By using an airborne laser technology called Light Detection and Ranging (LiDAR) pointed at the ground, a University of Salamanca team was able to reveal a gold mine of information. No, really - they found a gold mine that was built 2000 years ago by the Romans. I wasn't even in elementary school then. 

Once more, I'm fascinated by the fact that something like this vast underground mine was just forgotten. Thousands of people must have worked those mines. You'd think they would have found ancient time cards by now or evidence of early union organizer activity, at the very least. 

Gold has been pretty important through the ages. Yet, not one person blabbed the location? No one ever asked, "Hey, Titus, where did Marcus get all this bling?" or "Did I ever tell you that I used to work in a Roman gold mine. Boy, there's a story for ya..."

I've got my eye on the potential uses of this laser technology; I want to channel it for good.

Dear University of Salamanca Team Member:

I am impressed by your laser technology and ability to uncover the lost treasures of the world. If you'd be willing to wave that magic wand my way, I've lost a few things and I need you to assist me in locating. 

Point the laser at my laundry room: 
  • One pink and white sock. Sure, it would seem easy to replace, but I have many socks and those pink ones were the only ones that steadfastly refused to creep down into my tennis shoes. I need that kind of podiatric loyalty. Socks that leave their post make me feel betrayed...bewildered.
  • Next, you're looking for lime green garden shoes. They're heavy plastic and they don't walk by themselves - hence, the mystery. All possibility of theft has been cast aside. They're just too goofy for anyone else to actually want to wear them. Think "Mary Janes" made for the Incredible Hulk.
I'd like to start small and get a feel for whether or not we'd make a good team. Any and all efforts at solving these mysteries that have plagued our home will be appreciated.

Respectfully,
Cherdo
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The next story that caught my eye was the Robin Hoods of the parking meters of Keene, New Hampshire. Groups of self-proclaimed Robin Hoods patrol the streets of Keene and check the parking meters. If they find one that needs fed coinage, they insert the necessary amount and leave a card that says: “We saved you from the king’s tariffs. Robin Hood and his Merry Men. Please consider paying it forward.” 

The card features the Disney depiction of Robin Hood as a fox. 

Clearly, I love any and all "pay it forward" acts. I also love the "Robin Hood" moniker; clever. But then it turns ugly.

A lawsuit has been filed against the group for harassment - which I thought was overkill, till I read about the parking meter readers who are verbally abused while trying to do their job. I'm thinking they're just people like you or me and they need a job. The romanticism of the story sort of melts away for me at that point. 

So, look a little closer, Robin Hoods of Keene...in my humble opinion, if you want to really stick it to the city of Keene from a financial standpoint, why feed their meters a constant stream of money? Start a campaign to leave the spots empty all day with bus passes and car pooling. And maybe the local small businesses need the "one hour only" parking rule to keep their flow of customers coming in and out, rather than have them monopolized by a few. 

My point is that there's two sides to every story and people as creative as the modern day Robin Hoods are also creative enough to come up with a win-win option that doesn't hurt a regular Joe trying to do his job.
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Final news:
JANIE JUNEBUG HAS LEFT A SECOND SINGING MESSAGE ON MY PHONE.

I know that will make you jealous, and I still had to go there. 

17 comments:

  1. I KNOW where your lost socks are--Erma Bombeck said all lost socks have gone to live with Jesus!!

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    1. Then why is the Lord wearing sandals?

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  2. I lost a few things, thanks to my cats dragging things everywhere. I'd love to find these items. Gold mines are a huge thing to lose track of.

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  3. Great Caesar's Ghost! This is a gold standard post!

    Good morning, dear Cherdo!

    I once owned a pair of pink socks. (They were simply DARLING!) Well, to make a long story short, one of them vanished. Distraught, I spent days bed ridden, in the fetal position, sobbing. Finally, I pulled myself together, vowed to become part of the solution and founded a support group called Socks Without Partners. First Saturday of every month people who have lost a sock meet at the Holiday Inn. Everyone brings their single socks along hoping to find a match. It's a fun filled night of mixing, mingling and swapping. I recently returned home in glee, having restored my set of fishnet thigh-highs!

    As for your second story, I agree that one man's good news is, quite often, another man's bad news. Thank you for pointing out the downside of this crusade carried on by the Robin Hoods of Keene.

    I do, however, advocate the "pay it forward" concept. Why don't you and I put it into practice immediately? We'll both feel good about ourselves. You can go first by making my mortgage payment. In turn I will buy a stranger a cup of coffee.

    Happy Tuesday, dear friend Cherdo!

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    1. Shadster!

      Shhhhh....I'm just telling you this juicy piece of info: I'm secretly recording all of Janie's hits from my phone and cutting a CD that will hit the stores right before Christmas. I'm disguising it under the stage name of Lanie Loonbug. I need a good PR man and you know the ropes. You and I are about to get stinking rich.

      Loved your comment...wish we had a local SWP, but I think they'd kick me out when they saw the number of singles I collect. It's a conspiracy, I tell you.

      Our temp is dropping again (yesterday, I was back in sandals...today...not so much). I just know you're still Florida-cozy...

      Have a fabulous day!

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  4. If those laser people let you use the laser for your very practical purposes, let me know. I have a list, too!

    (And lucky you to get a singing call from Janie. You are very special, indeed!)

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    1. Maybe they'll make a home version, Sherry. I'll share it with you!

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  5. Hmmm-Is there still gold in thar mines?? Can they find my marbles as I seem to have lost a few along with socks. I swear i put both socks in but only one comes out of the dryer. They can send a man to the moon but they can't answer that question about socks. As for Robin Hood and his merry men-The idea is good but one should never abuse the person for doing their job. I love reading your daily writes-you make me laugh:)

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    1. Thank you, Birgit - you're sweet! ;-)

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  6. Haha--if only someone could wave a wand over our homes and find all the things we've lost over the years. I had a friend who worked for information back in the 90s (remember when you called 411 to ask for phone #s?) and people would call and say, "I can't find my sock. This IS information, right? I need information on where my sock is."

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    1. If I were that operator, I would die of smirk. That's hilarious.

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  7. I don't think many people are jealous that you receive my singing on voice mail. Shady's comment is hilarious, of course. It's interesting that Franklin and I live alone and I still have items disappear. I KNOW Franklin doesn't take them . . . right, Franklin? Franklin, why do you have a pink sock in your mouth? I thought it was your tongue, but your tongue isn't made of cotton. Picking on people who have to do their jobs, such as read parking meters, isn't fair and isn't nice. Your gold mine news story and no one revealing the location earlier is a real find (stupid pun intended).

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. (The gold mine is in Spain...let's go...we could use a little gold here and there.)

      If they're not jealous of your singing voice mails, it is because they haven't heard them in all their customized, Bacharach glory. I'd post them, but the world would just feel bad and neglected and I can't have that kind of negativity on my head. It will flatten my hair.

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  8. There is also another possibility regarding your missing items: it's Them. My brother has a problem with them. They move stuff around, put it in places he would never in a million years look, and outright remove items altogether.

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    1. Ah, yes! The mail relocator gene is strong with that one...

      If they know where they find things, why can't they put them back? Right now, my downstairs looks like a library barfed in the kitchen after a homework session with Son # 3. Those books have a home, son! Take them home!

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Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo