Thursday, January 8, 2015

Great Mom Explanations


This is my version of the "throwback Thursday" - a tale from the pre-Kindergarten years of Gonzo.


If you ever saw a picture of my husband during his college years, he sort of looked like the lead singer of the Spin Doctors...Exhibit A (reference photo) provided:

Lead singer from the Spin Doctors...Sorry, I don't remember your name.
That was before I met dear Hubzam, but I've seen the pictures and even now he is irritated and annoyed by the reference to a person (and band) he had never heard of, nor cares to know about. He's not about that life.

Sometime around his college graduation, he began to lose his hair. Nothing unusual about that; it happens to lots of guys. Some young, some old. Who cares? It's not like I ever knew him way back when; I like him just the way he is. I've never even known him to look any different.

When Gonzo was about four, I caught him staring at his Dad as he mowed the lawn. You could tell he was deep in thought. 

"Mama," he said, "have you noticed that Daddy doesn't wear too much hair very often?"

That totally cracked me up, particularly the way he phrased it. It left room for the possibility that he might have lots of hair on some days...just not very often. A mere fashion choice; wear it today or not? Kind of hot outside...it's a bald kind of day. 

Knowing that my teenagers were in earshot, I began my explanation of Dad's hair: "Your Dad went to college and while he was there, he learned so much new information that his brain started to grow and push against the inside of his head. In fact, it pushed the roots of the hair out. As you can see, your Daddy is very smart."

Gonzo smiled; that explanation worked fine for him. 

(I tell myself it was the best Mom explanation ever. The topic has never been revisited...except, of course, when Hubzam complains about my Spin Doctors reference.)

30 comments:

  1. That's quite a brilliant explanation. Now how do I explain X's idiocy?

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nothing good ever happens after midnight, Janie Junebug.
      What were you doing up at 3:30?

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    2. Janie, it would depend on his hairiness. There's also the possibility that his hair had no faith in him, so it abandoned ship.

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    3. His hair had no faith in him. At last I know. And will you please tell Shecky Shady that Mom says I can stay up as late as I want?

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    4. I'll tell him, but will he listen? That is the question.

      Delete
  2. I like this "mom explanation". It accounts for my appearance in a most complimentary way. Yes, I wear my hair thinner and further back now. It's because my brain is growing. I shall practice saying that with a straight face until I believe it.

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  3. Hair today, gone tomorrow.

    Good morning, dear Cherdo! It is I/me, Shecky Shady Shaft, and the last time I looked in the mirror, I bore an uncanny resemblance to Dee Snider of Twisted Sister.

    I'm hairy noon and nighty night night
    My hair is a fright

    Speaking of hair, I once had a close shave with a lady barber.

    (BA-DUM-BUMP)

    Papoose is defined as the consolation prize for taking a chance on an Indian blanket.

    (The above joke is completely unrelated and off topic but I like it so I threw it in as a bonus.)

    I'm surprised Gonzo didn't get a worried look on his face and ask if that superior I.Q. and the early onset of baldness associated with it are hereditary.

    My job is
    Keeping faces clean
    And nobody knows
    De stubble
    I've seen
    Burma-Shave

    Happy Thursday, dear friend Cherdo!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, the gene runs through the maternal line and we are a hair encumbered bunch on my side of the family. So, odds are in his favor...but, again - who cares? We don't get excited about that kind of stuff. Hubzam is too great a guy. Lucky us! :-)

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    2. Women in my family tend to have thin hair. One of my mom's sisters was so hair challenged by forty that she wore a wig.

      Delete
  4. "I'm Hairy High And Low -
    Don't Ask Me Why...
    Don't Know".

    I must be getting smarter too, in my old age, because I've noticed I'm starting to wear a little less hair these days myself. Not EVERY day, mind you, but just on days ending in y.

    It doesn't seem to matter to these chicks that visit my blog though. They still seem to think I'm hot, Hot, HOT! Or as they like to put it, "The Sexiest Man On The Planet".

    I can't bring myself to break the news to them that I am NOT "TSMOTP". There's one guy who's sexier than I am. He works in motion pictures, I think. Well, and of course there's always been Sexy Shecky Shady Shaft. (Try saying that fast five times. It can be done, but not easily.) The S-Four of Women's Fantasies ever'where. I probably come in only at #3 ...unless Hubzam has me beat, too.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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    Replies
    1. I'm waiting for the full on revival of HAIR, the musical, on my comments section. A girl can hope.

      TSMOTP is worried about you...your appeal and fame have brought you to the place where you are flying too close to the flame...he doesn't like competition.

      As for Hubzam, there's only one vote in his category that counts - mine! And he gets it every time. To satisfy any desire for something hairier, I have Coco. She wears much hair often.

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    2. >>... I have Coco. She wears much hair often.

      You s'pose she'd sell me some then? I'd only wear it on days ending in y.

      Speaking of S-4, I just discovered his blog and really dig it. He's talking about 'My Generation' only a wee bit o' older. But I know many of his songs, too. Yeah, yeah, I love 'American Graffiti' (have the soundtrack) and I love 'American Pop' (have the DVD) and I have ALWAYS had the soundtrack to 'Hair'. (I first became popular because I was the only person in my neck of the woods who knew the words to 'Colored Spade'. My racist friends - who weren't really racists and weren't really friends - were always asking me to sing it.)

      I'm really more of a Glenn Miller man, but you can't tell people that without losing "Cool Points". And The Carpenters? Fuhgeddaboudit! I've always loved them but you can't say that wearing a black leather jacket - which I don't wear anymore, but I still can't say "I love The Carpenters". I can write it, but I just can't say it.

      Are you keeping up here, Cherdo?
      Wake up and keep up, will ya?

      Where's Treat Williams when you need him?

      ~ D-FensDogg
      'Loyal American Underground'

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    3. So far, our musical interests are in synch. I'm all over the map and take it song by song.

      Favorite Carpenters song: Superstar. Hauntingly longing for some lost love. Awesome.

      I met one of the Andrews Sisters once and quizzed her ad nauseum about her big band days. Now who is the nerd?

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  5. I've heard many a tale of why baldness, as my husband and his mother's father were both bald.

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  6. Lou Simon (father of Paul of Simon & Garfunkel) told us that he used to tell his grandchildren that he had hair but he kept it INSIDE his head in case it rained!!

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    Replies
    1. That's hilarious. (I'm not sure what is happening with Paul's hair...sometimes thin, sometimes I suspect a bad toupee.)

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  7. I thought the explanation was that men got so hardheaded, their head threw all the hair out and then became impervious to future follicles. Hair, seeking escape, finds any available outlet. This explains all that hair growing out our ears, eyebrows, and noses.
    I like your explanation better.

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  8. My dad had a full head of hair and my mom, when I pointed to a bald man and asked why he has no hair, she just said some men lose their hair when they get older and that daddy was lucky. At least your hubzam didn't paint his head like Steven Spielberg did one time for an awards show. In the heat, one could see it drip down the side of his face-I remember that well

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    Replies
    1. While watching a interview, I saw another celebrity with the painted on hair. Does anyone thing that actually works? It only plays well on cartoon characters.

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  9. Brilliant! I'll have to remember that one!

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    Replies
    1. ...if only the science would support this hypothesis.

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  10. I guess both my parents were lucky to have had beautiful hair. I guess the chemical sin Shampoo here are making me loose hair.

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    Replies
    1. Maybe I need more information about the shampoo risks...in spite of what everyone tells me, I shampoo daily. I also have to constantly get my hair thinned when I get it cut and I'm a geezer.

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  11. Proving once and for all that boys are smarter than girls ;)

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    Replies
    1. Bwahahahaha...the missing piece of information that my boy needed.

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  12. Hi, Cherdo,

    Terrific explanation... Very clever! What a great way to tell your son.

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    Replies
    1. The wife has to back up the Hubzam. It's the secret of a happy pairing. :-)

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Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo