Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Je Suis Tuesday Newsday

Ladies and gentlemen...it's a Tuesday Newsday. We're going to reflect on some recent news with a wink and a smirk. Let's hope that is not the most productive thing I do.

Je Suis Charlie
A hostage situation occurred in France following the tragic attack on the offices of Charlie Hedbo. The murders, let's call it what it was, were in retaliation for satirical pictures of the prophet, Mohammed.

One thing that struck me was the comment they kept making about how the business was surrounded with armed police and militia - and that the individuals that had taken the hostages were "willing to die as martyrs." As non-violent as I am, in the midst of such terrible intent, even I think that was probably a good match. In the end, that was exactly what happened - but not before more lives were lost.

The public took to the streets of Paris and used the slogan "Je Suis Charlie" (I am Charlie) as their rallying cry. The outpouring of solidarity and support of free speech was inspiring.

Want to hear something even more outrageous than attacking journalists and cartoonists in France? CNN reported that Americans have plotted to kill cartoonists (check out the link!) even before this happened.

Just in case, Je suis cowardly amateur doodler.  :-)
Je Suis Water Mammal
Robert Konrad, who played for the Miami Dolphins from 1999 to 2004, was fishing alone in the Atlantic ocean when he fell from his boat. In a superhuman act of endurance (according to me), Konrad swam nine miles to shore. I have two questions about this:
  • Why couldn't he get to the boat? Wasn't that closer?
  • My faith in journalists everywhere will be forever diminished if someone doesn't use the headline: "DOLPHIN SWIMS TO SHORE."
Je Suis Really Old Box
History geek that I am, my excitement rose to a fever pitch when I heard about the time capsule that was discovered embedded in a cornerstone of the Massachusetts State House - placed there in 1795. Names like Paul Revere and Samuel Adams rarely appear in current news stories, but those two luminaries of the Revolutionary age of American History actually placed the time capsule in the stone.

Coins and newspapers, along with a silver plate, were some of the things found inside when the box was opened at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston. As you may expect, those items have great monetary value - but that doesn't matter to me at all. It's the fact that PAUL REVERE and SAMUEL ADAMS had their hands on them that blows my mind. Seriously, I wouldn't care if it were a hanky, an old sock monkey and a graffiti-defaced box that said "King George is a swine." The fact that these items were last held by those historical figures is enough to make me pop a gasket with nerd-joy.
Je Suis Compu-Ignorant
The US Census Bureau reported that the census will go digital in 2020. That's right - online! What could possibly go wrong with that plan? North Korean hackers? ISIS hackers? People with no computers? People WITH computers? Your grandma on the computer trying to type in data? MY mother trying to type in her data?

My concerns are not unfounded. In my work life, I've been the one everyone asks about computer problems. When you think I know something about tech, you're desperate and deranged.

Expect to see about 35% or more unaccounted for in 2020.
Je Suis Ridiculous Excuse for News
One of the major networks nightly news' main stories was about eyelashes. Since eyelashes are to protect your eyes, they claimed, wearing make up and curling your lashes would actually direct dirt and debris into your eye. 

Good grief, there's not anything else important going on in the world? Sheesh!


  1. Good morning, dear Cherdo!

    Je suis Shecky Shady and je suis sleepy but je suis here to comment on Je Suis Tuesday Newsday.

    Political humor, satire and satirical cartooning fall under the umbrella of freedom of speech. Those who threaten, attack and kill people for exercising that freedom have no sense of humor, are rigid and inflexible in their beliefs and are not interested in granting freedom of any kind to anyone.

    I'd like to teach the world to sing
    In perfect harmony
    I'd like to buy the world a Coke
    And keep it company

    (Ooops, I'm doing more harm than good with that plan because soda pop causes obesity and tooth decay. Back to the drawing board. How's this: I'd like to buy the world a pack of Luckies...)

    There's an update to the Robert Konrad story, a tragic ending indeed. The headline reads:

    "Good Samaritans lead beached Dolphin
    back out to deeper water."

    That time capsule supposedly buried in 1795 turned out to be bogus. Along with the old coins and newspapers they found an autographed picture of Miley Cyrus and a smart phone!

    Problems ahead with the digital census? Count on it!

    That eyelash story has me worried. I slather on gobs of make-up every Friday night when I become "Starchild" as leader of a Kiss tribute band. We're coming to your town so lock up your wives and daughters!

    Happy Tuesday, dear friend Cherdo!

    1. Sing it and hand me that (diet) Coke!

      First and foremost, I want to make sure you are not the least bit ill at ease over your make up choices. You were born to share your beauty and allow happiness and goodwill to spring forth as a result. I would suggest a good night creme and sunblock. Maintenance, dear; maintenance. Think long haul (more long than haul).

      Click your heels together and have a lovely day.

  2. "Why couldn't he get to the boat?" I love it! I have the same types of questions while watching the news.

    1. Someone said it was on autopilot...how fast could it have been going if he was fishing and not driving?

  3. Our news media is unbelievable in their reporting. You had some great stories here, and I especially love the history one....it's the non-monetary aspects of history that are fascinating.

  4. The events in France were heart breaking. The show of unity was uplifting (even if the US missed the boat for the rally). This geek was awed by the time capsule too. My kids did a time capsule years ago when we had to replace our water lines. I'm happily passing on my geek genes to my offspring.

    Great an online census. My mother will be calling me....

    1. My mom still hasn't figured out how to highlight text, but that's okay. She doesn't remember her password enough for that to be a problem (I love you, Mom...but you know it is true).

  5. I find it amazing that a few years ago Americans were so against the French to the point they wanted to call French Fries, freedom fries. Now they are best friends again.It is downright horrible what happened and I am glad they are gone but with more casualties. Where did that boat go?? I have to read up on that. I was really excited about the news and would want to feel the paper that these greats also touched-Uber-nerds unite! Going through the computer for all this info is concerning considering 12 yr olds have been able to hack into the pentagon before. You know when the news is slow when things like eyelashes and other useless things (Bieber, Cyrus, Kardashians) show up on the news

    1. As long as humans roam the planet, is the newscover EVER so slow that eyelashes get on the prime time news??

  6. Dolphin Swims to Shore would be a stellar headline! I can't believe they're going to do the census online. That wasn't very well-thought out!


    Ha! That would be a great "DOG BITES MAN" headline.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    1. How did they miss that gem? Hope all is well with you, STMcC.

  8. I heard about the time capsule and thought it was pretty cool, too, makes me wonder about all the other stuff buried out there.

    And your Dolphin headline would be hilarious!

    1. Ooh, now you have me thinking about other time capsules. Let's cross our fingers - maybe Charlemagne had the same idea.

  9. Hi dear Cherdo,

    For some reason this post reminds me of a Beluga whale that found its way here to the Old Port in Montreal. People were worried about it, naturally, but from what I recall it found its way back to deeper waters eventually. :)

  10. Theo Van Gogh? Vincent's brother? Time shifted while I was asleep at the wheel of the machine. I was a crew leader for the 2010 Census. I suppose digital means that people will be asked to enter their information online, as will the Census takers. It will be a mess, but in the local Census office the data entry people simply took what was written on paper and entered it in computers. It will be a mess no matter how it's done. Je suis Cherdo.




Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo