Saturday, February 14, 2015

Happy V D 2015

This is a repost from V D 2014. It's still true.

Oh, come on...it's a short acronym. What did you think I meant?

My husband believes, with all his being, that Valentine's Day is a coordinated plot perpetrated by business men who sell candy, cards, flowers and just about anything that hints at romance (on any level). Ditto for Sweetest Day. Don't get him started on Christmas, Halloween or Easter;  really, I'm doing you a favor with this preemptive warning. You're welcome.


Anything I do that involves "heart-shaped" on February 14th irritates him, and he is quick to ask me if I "actually spent money on that."

He makes up for it on many levels, so today I'd like to celebrate some of the non-traditional things he does with excellence:

At least once a week, he coordinates the landscape of my dishwasher. Although I estimate I've done dishes about 16,425 times (and that is only once a day for 45 years...I suspect it's more), he still believes that there is a correct way to load the dishwasher, and I am not aware of it on any level. The logical observation might be that I actually have done it, emptied it and actually seen what works or doesn't work. He promptly poo-poos all such assertions.

Because of my dear hubby, I've never had to bury a critter. This is important to me, as I name everything that lives here for more than a few minutes and I've even been known to do postmortem naming of animals that died anywhere on the three acres that we call our yard. Poor little squirrel...wonder what happened to him...let's call him Rocky. Get the shovel.

He finally admits - and believe me, it's a painful admission - that the dog is crazy about him. If a dog could give you the goo-goo eyes (middle school reference, my peeps), our dog, Coco, does it. The change in my husband was gradual, but I started to realize that he is reciprocating the affection in his own way. He won't go to the store unless you really, really need an item. He will, however, give Coco a ride around the neighborhood in his truck because he claims she told him she wanted to hold her head out of the driver's side window while he drives. He actually talks about her feelings and when she was lost for a month, one concern he had was that she was wondering why we didn't come and get her, wherever she was. Awww...that's cute.

He takes all my craziness pretty much in stride. Recently, I performed stand up at a local comedy night and my husband and my son, Gonzo (again...not his real name), came and watched. I was worried that my son would be embarrassed;  teens get that way for weird reasons.

When I came off the stage, my eyes went immediately to those two for feedback. My son ran up to me excitedly and proclaimed, "Mom! That was good! I think you're a hit!"

I turned to my husband for his opinion, and he added: "We're out of toilet paper."

That is a perfectly logical response for him. You see, I do crazy everyday - but we're not always out of toilet paper...and the Kroger store was on the way home.

He was totally on board with our specifically tailored wedding vows.  At the place where you say "till death do you part" we both agreed that we would abide by the spirit of that vow.

So, when we have a strong disagreement, which occurs rarely, I look him in the eye and remind him: "Sure, you feel that way...but is is worth dying over?"

For this most loyal, devoted friend and mate, I will settle for cooking his favorite dinner...my son and I snicker and wonder if he will notice the meatballs are heart-shaped.

Happy V D to all.


29 comments:

  1. Cooking his favourite dinner should be a lot of fun and I am sure he will appreciate it. Happy Valentine's Day to you both. :)

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    1. (Hey, I deleted a duplicate - but I'm twice as thankful for the post!).

      Thanks, Linda! Hope you're having a good day, too!

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  3. And here I was thinking lasagna...

    Great post, I'm giving you the clap! Erm, I meant applause... really...

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    1. Ha ha ha...that was a classic, Big J. Happy Valentine's Day!

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  4. Good morning, dear Cherdo!

    I totally agree with your hubzam and many other exasperated men. Valentine's Day is an evil plot, a conspiracy of greedy merchants to make men look like insensitive louts unless they drain their wallets for their ladies. Nevertheless, I go all out for Mrs. Shady on Valentine's Day. Today, when we fill up the tank at the corner Sunoco station, I intend to buy her the candy bar of her choice from the vending machine (or a bag of salted peanuts if she prefers). Who says I don't have a heart?

    You wrote:

    << Because of my dear hubby, I've never had to bury a critter. This is important to me, as I name everything that lives here for more than a few minutes >>

    I have a pet potato beetle living in my pantry. I've affectionately named her Janie Junebug and hope that she will someday present me with offspring.

    Happy Valentine's Day to you and your hubzam!

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    1. Awwww...a spud Junior would be so sweet. I have a question, though - doesn't the cabinet violate the "nobody puts baby in the corner" rule we have for Janie?

      Janie has a grandkitty, so she is celebrating with fur. I'm jealous; but Hubzam has put the kibash on cats. When we married, he had a cat that went a little nutsy (it was the neighbor's cat's fault). It began the century of NO CAT EVER. I still like them, though, and my son has two beautiful cats that I fawn over.

      To you and the Big K (Mrs. Shady's new nickname that I'm giving her for Valentine's Day), a most happy Valentine's Day.

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  5. I hope Valentine's Day will be a joyful, happy day!

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    1. Thank you, dearest evil pop tart...you are my favorite blogging breakfast food of all.

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  6. Very cute, Cherdo...some of our guys are really special. I have flowers and dinner out tonight. What more could I ask.

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    1. Oh, yay! I hope you have a wonderful time, Linda!! Hugs to the mister from Cherdo - and one for you, too. Happy Valentine's Day.

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  7. Happy Valentine's Day to you too.

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    1. Hope you have a wonderful weekend, Munir! :-)

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    1. (Say this in your best Nicholas Cage impersonation) "That's high praise!"

      Thanks, Fran - have a great weekend! ;-)

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  9. Oh bless his heart. Men can be so endearing like when my hubby compared my snoring to an elephant and then, a few minutes later, compared me to another animal that I have now forgotten. Now I could be upset but why when he made dinner and served me:) he then went into some tirade that was on the TV...again my ears turned off. Now as for VD day...um......nope, I will let that go:) I have to commend you for getting in front of an audience to do comedy-You have guts and it sounds like you were a great success. Now I made him a nice chocolate cake with whipping cream icing (chocolate) and strawberries on top. I also have to think up a film to watch for the next film talk:)

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    1. I can't quit my day job, Birgit, ha ha. Oh, wait, I don't have a day job, either.

      Sounds like you had a happy Valentine's Day! :-)

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  10. Now that you've said he takes Coco for rides, I like that man. WDW does the same thing with Frank.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. She has him wrapped around her finger...er, paw-toe.

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  11. Happy VD! And thank goodness for penicillin!

    Regarding an earlier comment, I confirmed today: my wife has no favorite song. Daughter doesn't either. Weird.

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    1. At least you investigated the topic, squid! Good for you - and them. :-)

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  12. haha through all the comes due, a heart shaped meatball will cure it

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  13. How sweet!!! I think heart-shaped everything is great. Pizza, doughnuts, chocolate... But, of course, it doesn't have to be heart-shaped to be yummy.

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    1. Gonzo and I went out running around and we brought Hubzam a heart shaped donut, ha ha.

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  14. And as promised, you posted about your husband's disdain for V-Day. We were not disappointed. I'm still kinda curious to hear about this Sweetest Day, though. That DOES kinda sound like a phony holiday made up by the candy companies.

    Mmm, heart-shaped meatballs made from the heart. That sounds like a great V D to me!

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    1. Where ya'll from that you haven't heard about Sweetest Day? It's an American (rip-off) tradition.

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  15. CHERDO ~
    I was outta state for just over a week (no computer) and missed many blog bits posted by friends. Looking through my Dashboard, the title of this one jumped right out at me. Loved it! Had to read it!

    This was REALLY funny, and...

    "That is a perfectly logical response for him. You see, I do crazy everyday - but we're not always out of toilet paper...and the Kroger store was on the way home"

    ...literally made me laugh out loud!

    This one too...

    >>... "Poor little squirrel...wonder what happened to him...let's call him Rocky. Get the shovel."

    Ha!-Ha!

    I think maybe you should learn to quote from Judge Roy Bean's (Paul Newman) various forms of Psalm 58, which he would recite over the dead at each burial.

    "The righteous are going to rejoice and triumph over the wicked... whose teeth are blunted like lions... and they get carried away by whirlwinds and such... while God judges on this earth through me."

    The older he got, the further his Psalm 58 quote strayed from a strictly "Biblical" recitation...

    "His teeth have been blunted in his head... the great teeth of a young bear. He saw that the wicked were carried away... as in a whirlwind. But there is a reward for the righteous... the courageous, and the loyal... and that reward includes beer..."

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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    1. We missed your wit and (cough, cough) wisdom! I'm glad you liked the Valentine's Day post.

      It's been a long time since I saw Judge Roy Bean; I'll have to check that out again. Although there are plenty of verses I might not totally remember accurately, that wouldn't be one of them (ha ha).

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Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo