Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Hump Day Haikus: I'm a Franken-Mom

Firing up for a new exercise regimen prompted me to consider the genetic betrayal that is my personal carcass. I abridge my own medical transcript to avoid explaining the wear and tear.

Let me say it again. Gravity - it's the law. I've forgotten that many times, to my peril.

The Franken-Mom Haiku Collection

Health needs a pick up
Please give us some history

Lots of arthritis
More injuries than fighters
I'm short for my weight

Surgeries on wrists
Ulna and radius...snapped!
I feel so fragile

Left ankle broke...right, too
Forgot my rotor cuff tear
I might omit some

Hit by a car once
A semi destroyed my car
Eight accidents sitting still

Am I not lucky?
I don't believe in luck, sir
Just wrong place, wrong time

Who can explain it?
It defies explanation
Franken-Mom...that's me


  1. OK it sounds like you had your share of pain and joint battles. Great Haiku by the way. Hope you are feeling better overall

    1. Oh, I'm fine...I was just reflecting on the fact that it sounded like I was a train wreck when you put it all together in a list. I've earned joint pain, ha ha.

  2. Replies
    1. Thanks...I'm on a mission to make Wednesday recognized for something other than the "hump."

  3. I can so relate Cherdo.... I have chronic arthritis.... not fun. But movement is the key. Keep moving. It may be painful, but resting only freezes up the joints. I never sit for more than ten minutes at a time, always popping up to do something. Even while sleeping, I keep moving. Nerves... perhaps, but it does help with the pain...

    Take care of YOU!!!

    1. These are all old injuries that are coming back to haunt me, but thank you, dear Michael! I agree 100%...keep moving. Hope Chicago is treating you well.

  4. I have to chuckle when I read this (great haiku), because I've been making excuses for not going out in the unseasonably cold weather to walk my dog. Both Polly and I need the exercise, but it's so easy to make up some reason not to go out...not perfect weather. No pains, just don't like the cold.

    1. One of the great things about my dog is the speed of her potty breaks. ;-)

  5. Dang, CHERDO, you've been more mangled than my Brother. Well, maybe it's a tie. He was hit by a car once and it broke his leg. He went through a window and it sliced the artery in his arm (has a scar that runs from about the bend in his arm, around the bicep and into his armpit). I saved his life that day with a tourniquet, and the thanks I get?...

    Anyway, he's now built like a brick **!*house - even his muscles have muscles. God help any car that would run into him now.

    You want I should send you his personally tailored exercise program? It only requires a 6 hours per day time investment (you take a day "off" once every two weeks), two extra large elephants for bench presses, two mid-sized elephants for curls, and a 150 pound weight vest for when you do your 600 pull-ups in 5 minutes.

    I can have him write out the entire workout program and then Email it to you if you'd like, Cherdo.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    1. Elephant curls have never worked for's weird, I don't understand it.

      I'm not mangled, but it sure felt like I was a mess as I listed it. I didn't realize it till now, but apparently I've had a bump or two, ha ha.

  6. Been screwed up from head to toe at my show, and not in a fun humping way either lol so that pain I know.

  7. Wow. You really are a Franken-Mom! ;0)

    1. If you make a list, it sure looks like I am!

  8. I laugh, but I feel for you Cherdo. Keep being the cool Franken-Mom

  9. I've been in a few accident but never got hurt. Had a few incidents playing sports but always minor stuff. I think I got your share of luck!

    1. Get a load of this: aside from being hit by a car, I've been in eight accidents - I've never been at fault AND my car has never been moving at the time of the accident. I was totaled sitting at a red light, for example. Crazy.

  10. I love haiku, but stop getting hurt!


  11. I love the Franken mom Haiku collection. :) :)


Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo