Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Hump Day Haikus: I'm a Franken-Mom


Firing up for a new exercise regimen prompted me to consider the genetic betrayal that is my personal carcass. I abridge my own medical transcript to avoid explaining the wear and tear.

Let me say it again. Gravity - it's the law. I've forgotten that many times, to my peril.

The Franken-Mom Haiku Collection

Health needs a pick up
Please give us some history
Bam...realization

Lots of arthritis
More injuries than fighters
I'm short for my weight

Surgeries on wrists
Ulna and radius...snapped!
I feel so fragile

Left ankle broke...right, too
Forgot my rotor cuff tear
I might omit some

Hit by a car once
A semi destroyed my car
Eight accidents sitting still

Am I not lucky?
I don't believe in luck, sir
Just wrong place, wrong time

Who can explain it?
It defies explanation
Franken-Mom...that's me

23 comments:

  1. OK it sounds like you had your share of pain and joint battles. Great Haiku by the way. Hope you are feeling better overall

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    1. Oh, I'm fine...I was just reflecting on the fact that it sounded like I was a train wreck when you put it all together in a list. I've earned joint pain, ha ha.

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    1. Thanks...I'm on a mission to make Wednesday recognized for something other than the "hump."

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  3. I can so relate Cherdo.... I have chronic arthritis.... not fun. But movement is the key. Keep moving. It may be painful, but resting only freezes up the joints. I never sit for more than ten minutes at a time, always popping up to do something. Even while sleeping, I keep moving. Nerves... perhaps, but it does help with the pain...

    Take care of YOU!!!

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    1. These are all old injuries that are coming back to haunt me, but thank you, dear Michael! I agree 100%...keep moving. Hope Chicago is treating you well.

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  4. I have to chuckle when I read this (great haiku), because I've been making excuses for not going out in the unseasonably cold weather to walk my dog. Both Polly and I need the exercise, but it's so easy to make up some reason not to go out...not perfect weather. No pains, just don't like the cold.

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    1. One of the great things about my dog is the speed of her potty breaks. ;-)

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  5. Dang, CHERDO, you've been more mangled than my Brother. Well, maybe it's a tie. He was hit by a car once and it broke his leg. He went through a window and it sliced the artery in his arm (has a scar that runs from about the bend in his arm, around the bicep and into his armpit). I saved his life that day with a tourniquet, and the thanks I get?...

    Anyway, he's now built like a brick **!*house - even his muscles have muscles. God help any car that would run into him now.

    You want I should send you his personally tailored exercise program? It only requires a 6 hours per day time investment (you take a day "off" once every two weeks), two extra large elephants for bench presses, two mid-sized elephants for curls, and a 150 pound weight vest for when you do your 600 pull-ups in 5 minutes.

    I can have him write out the entire workout program and then Email it to you if you'd like, Cherdo.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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    1. Elephant curls have never worked for me...it's weird, I don't understand it.

      I'm not mangled, but it sure felt like I was a mess as I listed it. I didn't realize it till now, but apparently I've had a bump or two, ha ha.

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  6. Been screwed up from head to toe at my show, and not in a fun humping way either lol so that pain I know.

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  7. Wow. You really are a Franken-Mom! ;0)

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    1. If you make a list, it sure looks like I am!

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  8. I laugh, but I feel for you Cherdo. Keep being the cool Franken-Mom

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    1. As long as you laugh, Maurice. :-)

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  9. I've been in a few accident but never got hurt. Had a few incidents playing sports but always minor stuff. I think I got your share of luck!

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    1. Get a load of this: aside from being hit by a car, I've been in eight accidents - I've never been at fault AND my car has never been moving at the time of the accident. I was totaled sitting at a red light, for example. Crazy.

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  10. I love haiku, but stop getting hurt!

    Love,
    Janie

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  11. I love the Franken mom Haiku collection. :) :)

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Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo