Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Tuesday Newsday: Worldwide and Weird


It's a weird, weird world we live in. Of course, I didn't write the news, I just collect it. Here's some of my favorite family, local, national and world news. 

  • A headline from Phoenix made me realize that I am still (or always will be) a child at heart. Perhaps that should be "childish." Two escaped llamas had the Phoenix police on their toes, ending with a cowboy-worthy lassoing of the llamas on the lam. Every time I saw a news posting about the Llama Drama, it made me laugh; that's so much better than the regular news.
  • Southern California beaches were covered in snow! The real kind, not the Studio 54 slang-term kind of snow. Further research seemed to indicate it was hail and ice - not any better news for the bikini crowd. I wonder if everyone in Huntington Beach had a winter coat...
  • Huffington Post reported that Louisville, Kentucky, smells like mildew and no one knows why. I've been to Louisville and noticed an abnormal amount of tennis shoes hanging from phone poles and wires; is it any crazier to surmise they might be mildewed by now? That's my vote.
  • Misguided teens have a penchant for tagging walls, overpasses, or any available surface. Thus was the fate of the Houck Covered Bridge in Putnam County, Indiana, UPI reported. The 135-year-old bridge had just been refurbished to the tune of 1.7 million dollars in 2014. Last week, it was vandalized with spray painted swastikas and large letters stating HAIL SATIN. The police think it was juveniles. Uh...yeah. And don't they feel cool now? My other thought was that this might be a group of wild, free thinking seamstresses. Face it, satin is pretty awesome...
  • Chuck Shepherd's Weird Universe had an item that caused me to pause and ponder. Hats off to Dole Japan for creating the wearable banana (get your hands off that keyboard, Shady Dell Knight...I'm not done yet).  No athlete should be without one. The gadget is made of some sort of electrical wiring inside of the banana skin which then relays information about heart rate, race time and supportive tweets from other racers. Apparently, it also helps the runner pace their banana eating (it announces when it's time to eat a banana). 
  • Psychic Future News: Runner chokes on wire inside a banana.
Keep it weird, peeps. Eat a banana now.

31 comments:

  1. Hail Satin? phttttt What a bunch of morans.

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    1. Ha ha ha...I just want to ask them "how cool do you feel now?"

      Unfortunately, I suspect they wouldn't get the joke.

      Delete
  2. That news isn't that big. I invented a mandarin you can drive.

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    1. What a citrus-y coincidence...my first car was a lemon.

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    2. http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view5/2224977/standing-ovation-o.gif

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  3. VETERAN NEWS ANCHOR WALTER CRONKITE:

    ...and the llamas were returned to their rightful owner. In other news tonight, World War 3 broke out...and an asteroid the size of Texas is hurtling toward planet earth with no way to stop it. Scientists warn that the human race is doomed.

    Good morning, dear Cherdo! I see it's time for Tuesday Newsday, Chasin' the Blues Day.

    I think you and especially Janie Junebug will agree that truth is often stranger than friction. (I'm submitting another guess on Janie's blog today. I now firmly believe that Wilmer Valderrama, the guy who played "Fez" on That '70's Show, is the mystery person who gave Janie those tulips.)

    I have my own theory as to why Louisville, Kentucky, smells like mildew. It's that 140 year old Kentucky Derby. The Derby has been rained on many times over the years and they keep putting it away wet and don't even store it properly in mothballs! Of course, it can't smell any worse than those 147 year old Belmont Steaks!

    Those Indiana graffiti vandals need to go back to school. Hey guys, if you insist on spray painting hateful symbols and epithets in public places, at least learn how to spell!

    That wearable banana video reminds me of a SNL sketch. Are you sure it isn't? I had a GPS microchip embedded in my banana so I can track it if lost or stolen. Recently, my banana went missing and police traced it to the home of a woman in Jacksonville. The banana thief will remain nameless for now but I will soon be conducting a contest/giveaway on my blog in which I challenge readers to guess her identity. The winner gets a banana.

    Dear Cherdo, for reasons I already discussed with you, I need to take a break from blogging for the next two days. I will be back Friday to rejoin you on The Flipside. Until then, please take good care of yourself.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Your comment is better than my post, Walter...er, Shady.

      If you follow the link to the story about the banana, it also talks about the possibility that the idea about the "invention" was stolen. Apparently, someone else had an invention that involved a tomato. I'm not kidding about that part, surprisingly.

      >>it can't smell any worse than those 147 year old Belmont Steaks!<< Shady, Shady, Shady. I coffee snorted again.

      Be safe in your travels and we'll yak on Friday, good buddy. 10-4. (I can't believe that was once "a thing"). Hugs to you and K.

      Delete
  4. I don't have your #$%! banana. Why do we need to be reminded to eat a banana? I haven't eaten a banana in years. Am I the problem? Because if I'm not part of the solution, then I must be the problem.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
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    1. 'Fess up...are you monkeying around with bananas? Confession is good for the soul.

      Now I have to be worried that I am part of a whole lot of problems. Janie, don't put that hoo-doo on me, too. You're the solution! You're the solution! There - I said it!

      Delete
    2. I've passed through some cities where they have cardboard plants. They always smell like wet paper. Terre Haute, Indiana, is one of them. I can't remember the others.

      Delete
  5. Louisville smells like mildew and they don't know why? That's a little disturbing!!!

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    1. To say that a whole city smells like mildew - yikes! That's something that makes my allergies go crazy; I'll have to use the bypass when I go north.

      They need mildew imaging (like a heat sensor, only for mildew...and no, there isn't such a thing that I'm aware of at this point).

      Delete
  6. I'm not a fan of bananas. To me they smell like stink-bugs, and I can't get past that odor. Loved your news commentary. Interesting misspelling on the graffiti. Maybe they can find the perpetrators and make them take some classes in correct spellings....or maybe send them to church on Sundays!

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    1. I think I'd like to see the taggers on their hands and knees scrubbing and repairing the damage.

      Thanks, Linda!

      Delete
  7. I think I'll avoid bananas. That may send me to the dentist

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  8. You just know it's a sign of the SATINIC end-times when Southern California beaches are being bombarded by HAIL and two of the four LLAMAS of the Apocalypse are running loose in Phoenix.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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    1. The Llamas of the Alpacalypse...

      Now you're a prophet of end times. We thank you.

      Delete
  9. Is it true the shoes is where you can score some drugs? That's what I've been told. I thought of standing under a shoe a while and doing my own investigative journalism, but how could I ever write a story better than the llama story?

    I find that bridge graffiti very encouraging. Satan evidently isn't making a whole lot of progress luring in the honor students.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Satin's minions are apparently illiterate - yay!! That can only bode well for us.

      I never heard that about the shoe/drug connection (of course, I'm never in the market for the "product"). I'm just amazed to see so many shoes on lines. If it's true, drugs are a bigger problem than we thought.

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    2. I've heard that about the shoe connection. It may be an urban legend, but I read about it on the internet so it must be true.

      Delete
  10. Hang on...Mrs. Penwasser went to the grocery store and bought a bunch of bananas.

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    1. She is brave. How will you remember to eat them?

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  11. Okay, I'm back. Mission accomplished. Now why did I do that? Oh. You mean I'm supposed to wear the peel like a sweater? Well...alright.

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    1. It's just one more invention you can't live without. YOU. CAN'T. LIVE. WITHOUT.

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  12. I saw the llama thing on twitter. The Arizona Cardinals announced signing them to one year contracts. I just hope they can catch a football.

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    1. CWM is out of control. It's official.

      Maybe the Cardinals will let the Llamas hit the football with a hockey stick into the 9th hole. 15-Love.

      Delete
  13. Maybe those were teens from the disco era, trying to bring back satin jackets?
    I laughed at the llama drama as well.
    And Cherdo, I apologize! You are following me, but I wasn't following you. Epic Ninja Fail. Fixed it now.

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    1. Well, I'm glad to have you now! Love your stuff, Alex, and I don't keep score. :-)

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  14. llamas in satin eating bananas wondering if their dress is blue and black or white and gold...when will the madness end? Find those brats who vandalized the bridge and send them to boot camp. My guess is they have had it too good and are spoiled

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    1. Brats - the perfect word. I'll never understand the brazen destruction of property.

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Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo