Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Traveling!

Don't be blue

I'm making an impromptu trip this week, so here's a blast from the past. Remember to tune in on May 21st for the results of the Battle of the Bands: The Carpenters vs. Luther Vandross. See you next week!

Moon Over Akron

Before I tell this story, let me just say that my mom is a hoot. She's not trying to be a hoot - on any level. Her norm is a hoot. There's a need for an investigative CAT scan in her future - a picture of that place somewhere deep in her brain, where a normal (ahem) person would process information. Forward that glossy right to the neurosurgeon, please. Inquiring minds want to know what's up with Mom-brain.

My sisters and I can share a wealth of Momisms while contorting our faces into odd shapes that just scream, "Who does that?"

One such Momism occurred as we were returning from a trip to my grandmother's house. Grandma's house was about five hours away and we had left late in the afternoon. Something about the car always puts me to sleep.  If I'm not driving, I'm nodding off.  I've always been that way.  Laying back, with the car seat tilted all the way down, I had drifted off to sleep.

My mom doesn't do quiet well (genetic, I admit). She's not loud; it's not about volume. It's quantity. I have this vision in my mind of that evening. She is smiling to herself and watching me sleep - instead of watching the road.  It haunts me (smirk).

We were somewhere near Akron, Ohio, when suddenly, my Mom grabs my shoulder and begins shaking it vigorously, shouting, "Get up! Get up! Hurry!"

What in the world? Was this the start of Carmageddon? The jolt sent my brain from dream mode to alarm in a millisecond and sent a major dose of adrenaline my way. I sat straight up without even raising the seat to see what was wrong. She pointed furiously at something in front of the car. I spun around and looked forward only to be blessed with a view of a station wagon full of boys with their bare bottoms hanging out the back of the open window.  It was mid-January in northeast Ohio.  It was definitely a blue moon sort of sighting.

"Those boys are mooning you!" she declared. She displayed all manner of mock horror at the insult to my person. Thank you, for that.  And she had yelled "hurry!"  

What was that about? I know the geography of the  human bottom - it ain't that great, and it is not even a close second to a good nap.

So - really, Mom?  

"What made you think they were specifically mooning me, when they couldn't even see me laying back in the seat and sleeping?" I asked. 

She was quiet for a second. Looking at me incredulously, she remarked: "Why would someone moon me?"

Why indeed, Mom. On the other hand, my mug was just made for mooning - or so the logic goes. I'll keep that in mind.

[Postscript 2015: Shady Del Knight, Stephen T. McCarthy, Mike, Al Penwasser...don't get any ideas.]

29 comments:

  1. Have safe travels, and a happy return. We'll leave the light on for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, dear. That's Motel 6. I'm not sure they're even in business anymore.

      Delete
  2. Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened?

    Yeah, I did. I's just in here gettin my car checked, he just appeared
    Out of the traffic. Come streakin' around the grease rack there, didn't
    Have nothin' on but a smile. I looked in there, and Ethel was gettin'
    Her a cold drink. I hollered, "Don't look, Ethel!" But it was too
    Late. She'd already been mooned. Flashed her right there in front of
    The shock absorbers

    Good morning, dear Cherdo!

    Don't worry, I'm not likely to get any ideas today. My brain is wiped clean, fried from a day of traveling, the excitement of being on hand to witness the birth of my grandson last evening and, upon returning home, staying up far too late gabbing with my good friend Stephen.

    I can't remember ever getting mooned, nor have I ever done the mooning. It's interesting that the courts ruled that mooning does not constitute indecent exposure and is a legitimate form of artistic expression. Since streaking exposes the genitals, those who engage in it run the risk of being charged with I.E. and branded sex offenders.

    Be safe in your travels, dear friend Cherdo. I will be hitting the road to you know where again this Thursday so please be advised that my schedule will be disrupted and I might be late visiting your blog that day and over the long Memorial Day weekend.

    Moon over Parma, where those pink flamingos stand.
    I need her kisses
    and the soft touch of her hand.
    We're goin bowlin,
    so don't lose her in Solon.
    Moon over Parma, tonight.
    I said tonight.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My schedule will be out of whack, too, dear friend! If the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars, we may be okay.

      Boy, I hate to get deep on my blog but you made an excellent point about streaking. Though I'm all for protecting the public, the "criminal charge" is one that had been assigned outside of its original intent pretty often.

      Grandson? GRANDSON? I believe I need email. :-)

      Be safe, God bless, take care, dear Shadopolis!

      Delete
    2. I want to see a photo of this grandson. I adore babies. That's why I like Shady so much.

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. I can't imagine she'll have a nice trip without me.

      Delete
  4. Cherdo,

    Your mom sounds like quite the character. Do you read Julie's blog over at Empty Nest Insider? You two could spend some quality time sharing Mom-stories.

    I know that I read on a previous blog in the comments that you were from Ohio. I meant to ask more about that and promptly forgot. This bit reminds me. Do you still live in Ohio? My parents both grew up in Ohio, as did I. My brother still lives there. In point of fact, we'll be making a trip to Ohio to visit family (I'll be going to summer camp!) for a while. If you still live in Ohio, maybe we can meet???? That would be soooo cool.

    You can send me an email. My addy is on my blog, but to save you the click over... rarichards68 at gmail dot com.

    Have fun on your trip!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Since she's gone someplace, I'm taking over. No, Cherdo does not live in Ohio.

      Delete
    2. JANIE ~
      Since she's gone someplace, and YOU'RE taking over... can I have her bank account? I wouldn't ask except I really do need it. (They just raised the price of vodka .47 cents per ounce.)

      Thanks!

      ~ D-FensDogG

      Delete
    3. Torture me all you like. I'll never reveal the account number that I don't know anyway.

      Delete
  5. OK that is funny. The kids thought it would be great to moon an "older" lady and she never picked up on it. She just wanted to wake you up maybe?? Knowing my mom, if she would even notice, she would ask me what they were doing this for, call it disgusting and then continue to ask me why they do it and for what reason. Even after I would tell her, she would say it makes no sense and complain away about the senseless reason while I would be smiling that she got mooned

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds highly similar to my mom, except my mom is dead. That shut her up.

      Delete
  6. Oh how funny!!! Brings me to a time that my mom and my aunt were shopping and didn't want us to go with them. These were the days when it was common to leave the kids in the car. My cousin had the idea ( it really was her) to moon people as they walked by the car. We were maybe 6 and 7 years old. Sure enough, we were in the very back of a VW beetle and our little moons were on the glass. It was not far after that our moons were bright red and had a hand print across them.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Cherdo, I remember well when this was such a big deal, running across a stage or a basketball court in the buff to get attention. Very funny. Have a great trip....hope it is for a good reason.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know if it's for a good reason. She didn't consult me. At The Hurricane's college the track team ran in the nude. I think it became one of those things that nobody notices.

      Delete
  8. I don't have a mom anymore but I still have a mother-in-law. She has a habit of making up new pronunciations for certain words. Her best is for toshiba. It comes out tubashoeba. There are many many more just like that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But does she do it intentionally? My (former) mother-in-law has a variety of unusual pronunciations, but it's because she doesn't know the correct pronunciation.

      Delete
  9. Of course dear, you have a face that could launch a moon. Think about that!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh My goodness.
    I am laughing so hard with tears !
    Your Mum is a hoot !

    Of course it was for you !
    cheers, parsnip

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cherdo happens to be a hoot, too. I wonder where she learned it.

      Delete
  11. No one would moon your Mom so it must be the person sleeping next to her! LOL that's a fun story

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would moon Cherdo, but not her mom.

      Delete
  12. Look at what you've made me do. I had to reply to your comments because you took off, never thinking of anyone but yourself. A real friend would have invited me along and paid my way. Your stories about your mom are hilarious. I laughed. That's your fault, too.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  13. I notice I wasn't on the "don't get any ideas" list... ;)

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo