Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Humpday Haiku: Blog Hobo


After being given a free e-book on blogging, I read it eagerly at first. The enthusiasm started to fade soon. I don't know what I thought it would be about but it sure wasn't interesting or fun. There's nothing in that book that speaks to me. 

"Secure your financial future."  (Uh...no.)  "Blog like a pro." (There's pros?) "Can you create a blog without selling your soul?" (Nothing for sale here. I'm keeping my soul, thank you.) 

I know what the problem is: I'm a blog hobo.

The Blog Hobo Haiku Collection

Doodling daily...
I'll jump on a few blog hops
(Blogger ADD.)

Remove shiny things
I'll totally lose focus
Look there - flappy bird!

What's my genre here?
Independent and snarky?
I must own that spot.

I'm on the flipside!
AARP wants my dough -
I cannot be tamed!

So many options
I'm too old to be controlled
Too silly to care

Blog hobo, that's me
I will not bow to "The Man"
(Don't really know him)

Internet - my train;
Lets jump in a passing car...
Too high - I'll just wave.

Handkerchief of files
Tied to the end of a stick;
Backup files in shoes

Got lots of cookies.
Maybe learn to go phishing -
I'll download outside.

Yesterday Facebook
Twitter, Instagram and Vine
Too much free time, ya'll

I should settle down,
Find a home and maintain it...
Whoops, appears I'm here.

The laundry needs me -
Hobos don't have housekeepers!
No breaks for hobos.

29 comments:

  1. There's a book on blogging? Who knew?! Maybe I'll .... naaaaa.

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    1. I think those people are not pro-bloggers; I think they're just in advertising and no one told them.

      Delete
  2. >>... "Blog like a pro." (There's pros?)

    Yeah, unfortunately there are.

    They may not actually make money from their blogs, but they blog like "pros".

    Watch for the 1-3 sentence comments, and/or the posts/comments where they rub two sticks together and smoke appears, but they panic and try to become "peacemakers" the very second a small spark breaks out.

    Me, I'm very UNPROFESSIONAL. I like to rub the sticks together and create a massive forest fire, and then I enjoy trying to put it out by pouring snark and insults on it.

    [I didn't say I was professional... or nice. But I AM 100% honest, and I was technologically-designed - in a professional, scientific lab - to kill. And I like me... 33.3% of the time... which is still better than 66.6% of the time. Amiright?]

    I dunno... it might ultimately be "a crazy train" thang. ;-)

    ~ D-FensDogG
    'Loyal American Underground'

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    1. I'll read anything, especially if it's free. At least as long as my Kindle is fired up OR till I am sure they're nothing relevant to me. That came pretty quick with this book (I don't want to say the title because it was a freebie...and I try to be reasonably nice by habit, not profession).

      HOWEVER...I did realize something.The book I want to read about blogging would be trouble-shooting (like why do I have to dump my cache so often to make my post appear in the reader) or plain ole' aesthetics. More like a how-to on designing the page. I like to change the background pretty often and I like to do that myself, rather than a canned backgrround. THAT'S what I thought might be in there because it had a snazzy cover. But...Nope.

      If you look at the list of people I follow, they're all "real." That's the only thing I like to read.

      Irregardless of topic, you are the engineer on the crazy train. I thought you knew that? I buy tickets on it daily.

      Delete
    2. >>... you are the engineer on the crazy train. I thought you knew that? I buy tickets on it daily.

      You're buying 'em? Doggone it, I told that ticketing agent that he was supposed to comp your tickets every day that ends in "y". He's probably pocketing the money. Don't be surprised if there's a new agent at the ticket counter the next time you're there. Good he'p is so hard to find.

      >>... why do I have to dump my cache so often to make my post appear in the reader

      Hellck, I don't even know what that is or how you do it. But the next time you dump cash, dump some my way, eh?

      I just sort of fell into blogging 8 or 9 years ago. Didn't really even know what it was at first. Then I developed a blogging "purpose" (which I no longer have). Had FarAwayEyes not invented the BOTB concept, I probably wouldn't be bloggin' a thang today, as it's about all I do anymore.

      But I do still enjoy it - the BOTBs, trying to guess how they will end up, yakking with people. It's still fun. Plus, it keeps me off the streets and outta jail. And... ya gotta do SOMETHING, right?

      ~ Stephen

      Delete
  3. I worked forty years to settle an income on whatever it is I do now, which makes me a professional blog hobo, grampa, geezer and, at the moment, drinker of a bottle of Guinness Extra Stout reading your excellent blog. Poetry's hard work and I sure enjoy reading yours --but I pay myself for it so I guess that's professional too.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I can't argue with anyone who figures out a way to earn income and your work is nothing to sneeze at. I've got 364 posts and if you had to pick those that were worth publishing, you'd be lucky to come up with a pamphlet (after heavy editing by Janie Junebug...I need it).

      And I'm not talking about authors who blog - I think at least a third or half of blogs I follow are authors. I enjoy all the posts and snippets of the next book. Cover reveals are some of my absolute favorite posts, I'm geeky like that. But those are real people who write, not machines.

      But every example in this book just looked like an advertisement or a bait and switch. Who wants to do that?

      Geo., you get The Cherdo Seal of Real. It's my highest honor.

      Delete
  4. "How to's", for me, turn into "How come you didn't?s", and I end up feeling woefully inadequate.

    'Blog like pro?'
    Too much thought.
    I drink more tea.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. That's it, too! You are absolutely right!!

      Maybe this is the book we all should get together and write: "How to Have Fun Blogging." Wait a minute...I think we already know that.

      Delete
  5. Good morning, dear Cherdo!

    It is I/me, The Real Slim Shady aka The Bum of Blogging!

    Great piece here! I doubt many real bloggers would appreciate that book or take its advice seriously. To me blogging is all about freedom, freedom of expression, freedom to jump in and out of character, freedom to be unpredictable and uncompromising, freedom to do it my way. (Suddenly I feel a song coming on - the Sid Vicious version, naturally.)

    Thanks for the entertainment, dear friend Cherdo, and enjoy your Wednesday!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I think I'll pass on any more blog books. I usually am a dedicated biography glutton.

      I did my part - I turned on AdSense! Ha ha. After that, I did nothing. Now I look at it and say what a waste; I realized long ago that is not my style. The only reason I don't turn it off now? I like the expanded breakdown of countries of origin. Surely that will get me in the Geek Squad for blogging AND geography.

      Which also takes me right back to the people part of blogging! The community is the only reason to do it.

      I hope you're not running yourself ragged, Shadster. Enjoy your day!!

      Delete
  6. lol a blog hobo is the way to be, more fun being crazy

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    1. I do love crazy. I guess that is evident by the way I unabashedly post a horrible picture of me wearing clown make up.

      The excellent photographer was a six year old on my lap playing with my phone at last year's vacation bible school. I spare NO expense.

      Delete
  7. If being a Blog Hobo is wrong- I don't want to be right!! I do have some friends that make a good amount of money for advertising. It annoys the crap out of me though when in all their posts they beg to click on this link or click on that link because that's how they make the money.
    I have no style or desire to be a pro blogger. If you don't mind, i'll tie my handkerchief now to my stick and join you on the hobo train. I'll bring snacks.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Girl, I knew you'd jump the train with me...or wave enthusiastically! Yay!

      This I find to be a little weird. There's a person who emails me if they see something similar to a post I have done and she tells me I should "google it first to make sure no one else ever did it." Wow. I don't Google first or after; I'm absolutely sure that there is no way in the world I wouldn't find something similar but holy cow.

      I'm pretty sure there are very few, if any, that call themselves a blog hobo...let's claim it!! I'll design the T-shirt.

      Delete
  8. When does one become a "pro" at blogging...I guess when they make money at it. When I go to a blog that is all about advertising some makeup, etc., I quickly "x" out of it. Love your "hobo" style of writing, We all get to know each other better when we express ourselves, and this blog world is what it's all about. Fun.

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    1. When I started blogging, my first ones were simple. "Simple Joys" was mainly family and animals. The artistic part was the background, but mainly critters. I was raising and showing Nigerian Dwarf goats and my registered farm name was "Simple Joys." The other one was "The K-Village Idiot." My friend "L" told me I ruined blogging because I didn't use it as a platform to share my inner thoughts. I still laugh about that one.

      But each one had a purpose and when it was done - I was done. I deleted them after they sat idle for a grew weeks. I never even turned on comments on either and that was fine. So much of what I saw was just nasty on the web and the last thing I wanted was to open myself to all that garbage.

      This time, I said I would just force myself to post most days (aiming for 5) and be creative, without boundaries. Sometimes you'll see me post about crafts I do, but that is because I get excited about how something turns out and want to share it. I have a "oh-my-gosh-that-really-worked" mentality about handiwork, ha ha.

      Lastly, I'm too old to worry about a lot of this stuff. I'm on the Flipside of fifty. Most of the things I worried about (what people think, trying to please everyone) never really fed my spirit. I like to read other's posts, encourage if possible and laugh as much as I can. I'll keep the negative garbage out wherever possible. There's a whole segment of the population online that has confused "rude and mean" with clever. I avoid that.

      Life is too short.

      Delete
    2. Great hobo haikus!

      I'lt try one


      Too many clowns here,
      Like a Juggalo meeting;
      Not getting smarter.

      The students wonder
      Why teacher wears clown shoes?
      Just saddle oxfords.

      Delete
  9. I just love your haikus
    Do you write them for money?
    I'll send you five cents

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Five times more, dear Fran
      Than anyone has offered
      Am I improving?

      Delete
  10. There is a book about blogging?? Why? To me, blogging is fun and that's it. I love your Haiku

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  11. It is possible to be a "pro" blogger but a cheesy free ebook isn't likely to get someone there Cheryl. (I'd recommend ProBlogger.com if you're really interested). Look there - flappy bird! Oh wait. Where was I. Right. Shiny things make money. You have a gift at Haiku

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  12. I like your notion of a blog hobo.

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  13. Well done. I edited a book about blogging. It's called The Blogger's Survival Guide.

    Love,
    Janie

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  14. Cherdo is a hoot.
    Funny, clever, very clean.
    Blog hobo? Hardly.

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  15. Standing ovation on the haiku! I wonder what percentage of bloggers are out for the money as opposed to just having fun. I know which ones are more interesting to me...

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  16. I don't think any of the bloggers I follow need to read a book on blogging. We can write our own. :) I don't care for those moneymaking blogs. I don't care for ads or for anyone to sell me anything (except maybe books).

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  17. I don't want to read about how to blog or how to write. I blog for myself first and foremost. If others find it amusing or helpful, great. I'm not anti make many with a blog, that's fine if one can, but I don't like slick and polished. Glossy with stuff sweeping in from the sides and such. Just give me honesty in any form.

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Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo