China, you are a beautiful country. There's some very interesting things in your culture. I hear reincarnation is forbidden without government permission (duly noted). Your country created the first paper money, yet you still have millions who (literally) live in caves. You rock table tennis. China really does New Year's celebrations right: for fifteen days. I'm telling you this, China, because I'm leading up to my main purpose with this post.Exhibit #1.
This "facekini" is the weirdest thing to come down the pike in a long time. I'm flabbergasted; don't they have sunblock? Can't we send them some? Imagine walking around in the hot sun with the facekini on your head. Yikes, that would be awful! What don't I know about this? There has to be something I'm missing...and that thing is "how do you get anyone to wear a facekini?"
Rumor is the the word "bikini" came from the Bikini atoll where the nuclear bomb was tested; the women wearing bikinis have an explosive affect on their audience, so I'm told. "Facekini" may also be linked to those nuclear blasts; I'll have to ask those wearers to remove the facekini to see what is underneath before I say for sure. The whole trend has bombed with me.
I have so many questions:
- Would a string facekini just be a headband? Would a facekini thong be a gag?
- Dare I ask what is with the gloves? Hand tans are a big no-no, too?
- Are robberies increasing in China?
You and I know that it will just be a matter of time before the facekini is everywhere and only then will it disappear like the psychedelic S & M flash-in-the-pan swimwear it was meant to be. Many other fashion foibles that look good on NO ONE have come and mercifully gone.
Oh, please tell me it will disappear...till then, consider this your Public Service Announcement: