Wednesday, July 22, 2015

A Freaking Fashion PSA


China, you are a beautiful country. There's some very interesting things in your culture. I hear reincarnation is forbidden without government permission (duly noted). Your country created the first paper money, yet you still have millions who (literally) live in caves. You rock table tennis. China really does New Year's celebrations right: for fifteen days. I'm telling you this, China, because I'm leading up to my main purpose with this post.

What in the heck is happening on the fashion front? Follow this link as China Uncensored provides our Exhibit #1.

This "facekini" is the weirdest thing to come down the pike in a long time. I'm flabbergasted; don't they have sunblock? Can't we send them some? Imagine walking around in the hot sun with the facekini on your head. Yikes, that would be awful! What don't I know about this? There has to be something I'm missing...and that thing is "how do you get anyone to wear a facekini?"

Rumor is the the word "bikini" came from the Bikini atoll where the nuclear bomb was tested; the women wearing bikinis have an explosive affect on their audience, so I'm told. "Facekini" may also be linked to those nuclear blasts; I'll have to ask those wearers to remove the facekini to see what is underneath before I say for sure. The whole trend has bombed with me.

I have so many questions:
  • Would a string facekini just be a headband? Would a facekini thong be a gag?
  • Dare I ask what is with the gloves? Hand tans are a big no-no, too?
  • Are robberies increasing in China? 

You and I know that it will just be a matter of time before the facekini is everywhere and only then will it disappear like the psychedelic S & M flash-in-the-pan swimwear it was meant to be. Many other fashion foibles that look good on NO ONE have come and mercifully gone. 

Oh, please tell me it will disappear...till then, consider this your Public Service Announcement:



31 comments:

  1. Good morning, dear Cherdo!

    Here I am late to the party but the first to comment because, once again, your new post did not appear in the reader. Frustrating, isn't it?

    As the mutha of invention, I have an answer to the facekini. Women, don't hide your pretty faces under a mask! There'll be no need to when NASA follows my advice and stretches a gigantic one across the surface of the sun. Introducing..... the SUN-kini! That's right! With all of the sun's harmful rays blocked out right at the source, you ladies can romp at the beach for hours without fear of turning red. However, you might turn blue from the deep freeze that will inevitably occur.

    Happy Wednesday, dear friend Cherdo!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brilliant invention - but surprising. I was almost sure you'd go for the "wear nothing" option in your response or "wear ONLY sunblock."

      I know cultures are different (duh), but I can't imagine anyone thinking this is a good look at the beach...or anywhere. Facekini would scare any kid but maybe not if they are bombarded with hundreds of people wearing them. More scary? Less?

      My least favorite item of female clothing is panty hose. This is like panty hose for the head.

      On that note....HAVE A GREAT DAY! And as always, wear that sunblock!

      Delete
  2. Needless to say, I am not going to pick up this fashion trend either. What were they thinking?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't be hasty. You might be the only one who could pull it off. Is it fair to deny your public?

      Delete
  3. What are we expecting from a Third World nation?

    Yep, you read me right: Third World. Don't let's be fooled by the propaganda. I know some folks who are fresh off the boat, and... we're yakking Third World here, peoples! ("Oh, you shouldn't leave watermelon slices in the hot sun for 10 hours and then eat it?" "Oh, you can't cut raw meat on a wooden board and leave it there, and then come back 3 days later and cut more?" "Oh, there's another way to chop something up without using a hammer?")

    ~ D-FensDogG

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let's be nice, Stephen....different strokes, as the saying goes. As long as no one from China makes me wear this Facekini, I'm on friendly terms with China. We're good.

      Delete
  4. They kind of remind me of the face masks worn by Mexican wrestlers like Nacho Libre. They're still scary no matter what! Crazy times

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is the first thing I thought of, too! Nacho Libre!

      They give me the creeps, Holli. Let's not do this particular fashion trend.

      Delete
  5. I see so many posts of strange things marked 'only in Japan'. Well China may have just taken the lead of the 'only in's'.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen, brother. They have just taken the lead (besides, I have Japanese friends...).

      Delete
  6. No, you wouldn't catch me wearing this. Maybe it's for people who or susceptible to skin cancer? Other than that, I can't figure this one out either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jeffrey, are you sure? 'Cause I'll hook you up with one if you change your mind.

      On one of the sites I was reading that jelly fish stings are a problem, but it appears that the main goal is to have skin that is as white as possible. They don't dig the tans at all.

      Delete
  7. I really hope the "facekini" doesn't catch on here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you think there is a chance? We all thought the "mohawk" was dumb, too...and facial piercings...and still, some people did it to the extreme.

      Delete
  8. There is no way Hollywood will tolerate that type of fashion, when you can't see the faces! Well, maybe after a bombed face lift?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...and that is why this little ditty had to take root in China...

      Delete
  9. Replies
    1. The mouth hole is big enough for modification, mallard-wise.

      Delete
  10. OK it looks like giant yellow condoms over their heads. I just don't get it and hopefully we will never see it here

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought they looked like blown up people, full of air.

      Delete
  11. Replies
    1. That comes as a surprise, Barbara (not).

      Delete
  12. Of course, it was just announced today (well, I heard it this morning) that a lot of sunblock companies are lying about their SPF by as much as an SPF50 that tested at 15! So, maybe not so bad an idea....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That explains a lot.

      My son got a horrible burn in SC one year while covered with SPF 50.

      Delete
  13. I've never had the slightest desire to visit China. Of course, I also don't want to to to the Orange Park mall.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've got a wanderlust to go everywhere, but I'm not wearing that Facekini.

      Delete
  14. wahahahahahahahaahahahahaahahaaha
    Is it a whole body cover up ?
    Or is there a teeny tiny yellow polka dot bikini from the neck down ?

    cheers, parsnip

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It runs the gamut - do a YouTube search on Facekini. It's SOOOOOO creepy, parsnip.

      Delete
  15. What saddens me in China is their lack of respect and abuse of animals. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That problem is worldwide. But apparently they are showing a lack of respect and abusing their faces, also.

      Delete
  16. I don't think that will catch on here. Enjoyed the humor about a head bsnd and gag

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo