At some time during my life, I should come to terms with the fact that I cannot, possibly should not, carry everything with me at all times. There; I said it.
Who am I kidding? Those are my husband's words. In spite of his opinion, I will continue to make somewhat successful attempts at always having everything anyone might need in a bag on my shoulder. The task requires the perfect bag and the right contents. There was a time when I thought that the purse I wanted probably came with a wagon handle, was waist high and on wheels. Back up lights would have been useful.
Finding a perfect purse and assembling the contents are just a few of my fun obsessions. Every department store in a hundred mile radius has seen me access their handbag department. I drag Hubzam along; it's not like he doesn't benefit.
Years ago, Hubzam and I walked our legs off in Nassau on a hot Caribbean afternoon and finally plopped down at the Queen's Staircase, a landmark that is just what it sounds like: stairs. No Queen could be found, however.
"My feet are burning up," he commented.
That's the kind of comment I live for; I started digging in my vacation purse. "Vacation purse" is just another name for "big and odd colored." You can get away with that in the Caribbean. When it's super hot, I put a washcloth in a bag with ice cubes to cool off. By the time you need it, it's like heaven and it works like a charm. Hubzam looked at me like I was insane when I pulled it out until I used it to cool off his burning dogs. Then, he was amazed. But I wasn't done, I had another trick. Avon used to sell perfumed liquid deodorant; it was great for feet. Now Hubzam's face went back to the "you're crazy" look when I suggested he use some of my lilac scented wonder water. With a little prodding, I talked him into trying it. Last, but not least, I had some powder.
His first comment was "this is amazing; I can't believe how good my feet feel" and his second was "what the [bleep] do you have in that purse?"
Like he didn't know the answer...EVERYTHING. And because I have all this stuff, he gains. Potentially, all of humanity benefits (insert mad scientist laugh).
I'm getting a little better, though. Purse specifications have been narrowed down significantly on the Flipside. I just want enough room for the essentials and a few well placed pockets. The pockets have to be deep and on the outside. One for my phone and one for my keys; I don't want to dig for that stuff.
Inside, I have to have a purse divided into sections. I don't want to get lipstick on my checkbook or have a penny flying out of my inhaler on that rare occasion that I use it (thank you, asthma, for forcing me to carry a reminder of my human frailty every stinkin' day). Wallet and checkbook in one section, miscellaneous essentials in the other section.
We just returned from Atlanta. Just for fun, I examined the stuff in my purse. This was my pared down contents:
- Two checkbooks
- Cell phone
- 6 pens
- a highlighter
- glasses lens cleaner
- laundry "pen"
- extra glasses
- Sketch book
- watercolor pencils
- misc. business cards that have been pressed in my hand
- a half pound of change
- mini disposable toothbrush
- math dice (okay, it's weird, but I purchased them for a class)
I'm about twelve steps away from managing this obsession, I guess.