Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Tuesday Newsday: That's Crazy


In appreciation of your time, I'm going to limit myself to three crazy news stories. Do you know how much self control that demands? Better question: have you noticed how many crazies and their antics are making the news? If you have, you'll understand how hard it was to trim down the list.

1. Here Kitty, Kitty (Has anyone seen my fingers?)

Joshua Newell's love of big kitties put him in hot water with the Columbus Zoo and Aquarium. A judge wants to have a little chat with Josh and he was even kind enough to send him an invitation to appear in court. Why? 'Cause Josh's marbles aren't all there, in my humble opinion.

Wait, you say. It's not illegal to be crazy. No, dear reader, it isn't. But Joshie is jumping the fence to pet cougars. Say that with me: Pet. Cougars. I'll bet Joshie wonders why all the zoos keep the big cats behind fences. After all, they could be running free with the children. And they make it so much more difficult to touch them.

He even posted a video on YouTube. Maybe the judge will tell him why that was a bad idea, too; especially if you're thinking you might get out of a fine or jail time. 



2. Man Rescued from Washing Machine (a clean story)

Australian friends, this tale is from "down under," in the town of Mooroopna, in the state of Victoria. The commonwealth couldn't be prouder, I'll bet. (Note to Australians: I'm American. We're up to our necks in crazy everyday; we should never point fingers. But this is the Flipside and I do what I want.

A man was trying to hide in a washing machine when he became stuck. Why? He thought it might be a fun prank to play on the lady of the house. Rescuers had to coat him with olive oil to try to remove him. Luckily (?) he was naked. 

Wait a minute...this had to be a tight fit going in, too, right? If I were a guy, I'm not sure I would want to do all the required manipulations while naked. That's just me. Actually, gender is irrelevant in this story; I don't want to try to manipulate all my parts to get in a washer if I am female, either. Assuming, of course, that the best prank I could come up with was hiding naked in a top loading washer. Spoiler alert: I can do MUCH better (and have).

First Constable Ingram remarked: “My advice would be for people not to climb into appliances – obviously that [can] cause a number of issues, as we’ve seen on the weekend,” according to the Australian Broadcasting Corporation. 

And that sage wisdom, ladies and gentlemen, is why First Constable Ingram is in charge.

3. Sorry, Dad

The Huffington Post reported that an elementary school in Scotland banned Father's Day cards. Why? So they wouldn't hurt the feelings of kids without fathers. Mother's Day cards were okay. 

Biologically, kids - you're good. Trust me, you have a father. 

Kids who don't have mothers: you don't matter. 

(Actually, any potential logic in this stance went out the window...but I've got to think that Grandparents Day is a bust.  Valentine's Day? Can't do that, either. Some of the elementary kids will be upset they don't have dates...to recess.)

That's our world, peeps!



34 comments:

  1. I think since there is no video of the washing machine incident you should try and recreate it for us.

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    1. That would ruin a perfectly good washing machine and spoil your appetite.

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  2. Oh yes. Recreate it. I hear the happy whisk is doing videos now, if you follow happy whisk.
    I so hope these don't become dares.

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    1. Anna...I dare you...surely you have a washing machine (ha ha).


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  3. I am for returning Valentine's Day to its origins in Lupercalia. As for washing machines, I haven't hid naked in one for weeks, so I'm ok on that.

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    1. Geo., Geo., Geo. You're getting spunky. I like that.

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  4. No way I'm getting into any appliance naked.
    I can't believe the guy in the video didn't lose all his fingers. That was crazy.
    And how sad that there are so many kids without fathers that they'd ban the cards? Otherwise, that is just stupid. What about orphans who have neither parent? Screw them, huh?

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    1. The Father's Day thing was the craziest to me. I get that some people think all animals like attention (they don't, but I get that THEY think that). Having known a few bad practical jokers - I get that, too. But not acknowledging fathers because of the absence of other people's fathers, for whatever reason, is a bit ludicrous.

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  5. I'm with Mike and Anna. Get in the washing machine. Naked. Hubzam can take the photos. Your kids and students won't notice them. I saw a video a while back of a parent who allowed a child to get in a lion's enclosure at the zoo. If kids don't have fathers, it matters, but if they don't have mothers, it doesn't matter. I'm good with that.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. You're not allowed to be good with that...Moms rock.

      But ignore living, present fathers because of absent or deceased? Let's apply that logic all over the planet and see if it works anywhere. Don't spend money; I'm broke and you'll make me feel bad. My dog passed away, so yours can't go outside; I might see it and feel bad.

      Nevermind...I don't want to miss a chance to see Franklin.

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    2. I was being sarcastic. I know moms rock even when our daughters don't talk to us.

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  6. That is a moronic ban, like the idiot who didn't like his fingers. I stuffed my brother into a washing machine once lol

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    1. We used to put my little brother in a laundry basket and make him play Jesus in our living room Christmas play.

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  7. I totally hid in the dryer when I was a kid playing hide and seek. We didn't have fancy front loaders back then. ( I still don't have those).
    We had a guy on the news that had to be rescued last week from the chimney. He got locked out and thought climbing down the chimney was a good idea. He got stuck and fortunately had his phone with him and called 911.
    I don't even know what to say about the Fathers Day cards. Except that pisses me off and if they do it for Fathers Day then they need to be consistent and ban Mothers Day cards too! Craziness!
    Have a wonderful day lady

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    1. We are entering a period of time where "political correctness" goes off the rails. Everyone's situation is different and we will have to deal with what others like, love, hate or despise and move on down the road. There's no way to make everyone happy every day.

      Oh, wait...I forgot about chocolate. There might be a way.

      Holli, you rock everyday. God bless!

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  8. No more hide and seek for me in the dryer or washing machine...

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    1. I see you under that canoe. Tag...you're it.

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  9. This neighborhood is full of cougars. I never tried to pet one, if only because they're prone to attack. Also, their perfume just never leaves you.

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    1. ...not to mention the bright red lipstick that stains shirt collars. Ha ha ha. Hilarious.

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  10. I love weird news so I'm loving this one Cherdo. The silliest story is the naked guy in the dryer. Halfway in he must have known this was a bad idea.LOL

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    1. Good grief, that was a bad idea. I'd love to see the police walking in and asking what the problem was; you gotta believe they laughed.

      Wonder who called?

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  11. Pet cougars? He is insane!

    And ban Father's Day cards? That's dumb! I may not have a great relationship with my father and may feel a little jealous when I see all the happy Father's Day posts on FB, but I would never want those cards banned. Why can't children celebrated their fathers if they have one and he's not a deadbeat? And what about all the children who don't have mothers? I'm sure they feel worse on Mother's Day than those children who don't have father's because of that bond all mothers and children are supposed to have. Makes me sad they have to be banned at all.

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    1. Yeah, I don't understand that at all. On Father's Day, I call my Mom and tell her happy father's day. She had a lot to do with it and he has passed away. Why waste the day?

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  12. Pet cougars? He is insane!

    And ban Father's Day cards? That's dumb! I may not have a great relationship with my father and may feel a little jealous when I see all the happy Father's Day posts on FB, but I would never want those cards banned. Why can't children celebrated their fathers if they have one and he's not a deadbeat? And what about all the children who don't have mothers? I'm sure they feel worse on Mother's Day than those children who don't have father's because of that bond all mothers and children are supposed to have. Makes me sad they have to be banned at all.

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  13. OK if i was the wife coming home to see my hubby stuck in the washer, I would be needing help off the floor from laughing so hard. I would then take a picture. I am figuring she is the brains behind the marriage. It is pretty sad to ban father's day cards because they are not thinking of the kids who have fathers! Who was the bright bulb that thought that up-the guy stuck in the washer? I know another country but still. People need to chill out and stop all this nonsense. The man trying to pet the cougar-i want to put him in the washer and turn it on. The sad thing is if the cats did something, the cats could be at risk of being put down due to his stupidity. I hope he gets a huge charge and is no longer allowed to visit any zoo

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    1. If I were the wife, I would definitely take a picture. Maybe even turn it on.

      That was definitely an unbalanced load.

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  14. Obviously we are a bored and needy species who can not tolerate a quiet and sane existence. maybe real life is too safe?

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  15. Oh my goodness that cougar looks super pleased though! I didn't watch it all the way because if he does get bitten... I'd rather just watch the bit with the giant cat rubbing against the fence. I may be a little crazy, too.
    Seriously, who goes into a washing machine. Even the thought of getting stuck like that legit makes me panic a little. I do not like tight spaces. That's so crazy!
    You know what grinds my gears? When single mothers want to claim father's day for themselves. Yeah, ok so you're a single mother... but you've already GOT mother's day. You don't see single days trying to claim mother's day. I'm not a single parent so maybe I just don't get it, but I find it annoying. I can't believe they'd ban father's day, but not mother's day. If you're going to go that dumb, go all the way dumb. Politically correct stupidity *sigh*

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    1. Amen, amen and amen. There's no way to keep everyone happy; deal with it. PC is becoming a bad word with me.

      You're so right about the single mothers and Father's Day. I was a single mom for eight years and I still encouraged the boys to be respectful of their Father (because of who they were, not who he was or what he deserved).

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  16. No Father's Day cards? Sounds extreme to me.

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  17. I think after dousing him with olive oil, they should have thrown in some greens, turned the machine on, and made a tossed salad of him.

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Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo