Monday, August 3, 2015

August 3: Question of the Month!


Michael D'Agostino of A Life Examined (that sweet thunder from down under) started this blog hop with these words:

"Your readers would like to know a little more about you. Show them who you are by taking part in the Question of the Month bloghop. On the first Monday of each month, we answer the question that gets posted here. Sign up on the list (on Michael's site) to join the fun ;) With every question, remember that the important part is explaining your answer. And please, if you have any suggestions for new questions, share them in the comments section. I bet you've got some great ideas for us."

This month's question is: 
“If your parent or child committed a major 
crime, would you turn them in?”


Wow, this is a hard question. The real answer would have to be "it depends on the crime." Let me make that even more murky...it would depend on the victims, too. 

In the case of a crime where people are hurt, yes. I think I would have to talk to them and say "you have to make this right." Painful as it is, I believe it is a moral necessity to do so. I'm reminded of the Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski. His brother's role in bringing him to justice was difficult and required great courage; I don't think it was void of love. Unfortunately, it had to happen or more people would be hurt.  

If it were a case where I became aware of a major white collar crime, I think I would talk to them and encourage them to step forward, admit what they did, and suffer the consequences so they can clear that slate and move forward.

In no case would I be aware of a crime and just say, "hey, that's their business." My conscious would then make me a party to the crime and I'd probably have a hard time living with it. I'm weird like that.

If I turn up missing, then some family member thought I was on to them and this was a thinly veiled admission of my knowledge of their crime...

Be real, family.
______________________________________________

Join the fun! Sign up below and give your answer to the Question of the Month. Make sure to visit Michael D'Agostino's blog, A Life Examined.



36 comments:

  1. My conscious wouldn't let me ignore it either.

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  2. Hi, dear Cherdo!

    I am pleased to see you, dear friend. This is indeed a very a tough question. As you know, I don't have any biological children (that I know of), and therefore I do not feel qualified to tell you how I would react if I had a child who committed a major crime. My parents are both dead now but one of the things I admired most about my father was his honesty. He gave 100% at all times, to his work and to his family, and he didn't cheat. He was also a nonviolent man and he influenced me to live my life the same way. I couldn't imagine either of my parents ever being involved in a major crime but, if they had, I believe that I would do what they taught me to do, come from honesty and integrity, and report their actions to the proper authorities.

    Thank you for giving us food for thought today, dear friend Cherdo!

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    1. You're talking about HUMAN kind of children? Yeah, that's right. But then there's the hybrids...

      All credit for the question goes to Michael D'Agostino...he's the brains behind the Question of the Month.

      At the end of the day, the other thing that fuels my answer above is the fact that these "crimes" are rarely single instances or things that have no repercussions or "downsides." There's a reason they call it a serious crime! Often, the ramifications fan out and affect the whole family. The life of the perpetrator is damaged, too. Really...what is the right thing? It shouldn't be subjective in MOST cases.

      Shadster, it's time to collapse...

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  3. If the crime would hurt people-in a red second I would speak up. In a discussion people may say every crime hurts people and one can look at it that way but I can't look at someone I love who I find out is a serial killer the same as my loved one who has a grow-op. I will tell my loved one with the grow-op that they should stop or turn themselves in because it will only be a matter of time but the serial killer-I would head straight to the police. I know that I would even feel guilty for the person I love who committed those horrendous crimes even though I was not the one who committed those actions. Just being related would be enough to make me feel that guilt. I could not live with myself if I said nothing.

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    1. I think we're wired the same way, Birgit. That is basically how I feel, too.

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  4. A serious crime, where lives are harmed? In a heartbeat. But I would struggle deeply with the consequences and wonder why it happened. I would lose sleep over this, wondering if I had ignored the signs or could have done or said something to prevent said crime. It's the way I am. I tend to shoulder things even when it isn't my fault.

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    1. Truthfully, the ones who feel compelled to do the right thing will suffer right along. Your last sentence describes me, also. :-)

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  5. Hey lady!!! I would totally turn them in if they hurt someone else. It would be hard to do but it has to be done. I truly believe that my parents wouldn't even blink and would turn me in if I had done something illegal. My grandma Nanny used to always say, if I ever got caught stealing and went to jail, not to bother calling her. No one can accept a thief! That stuck with me all my life and I am happy that I've never gone to jail for a crime.

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    1. I've heard that one, too - if you did something and got caught, don't bother calling. Officer, do your duty! Fortunately, a traffic ticket is my worst offense (so far).

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  6. After I retrieved my jaw from the floor, where it had bounced (again and again and again) I'd step forward and say, "You can't do that!" And then I would turn them in. Like others, I have no problem with that if it is a serious crime that hurts others. ...but on the other hand, what does 'hurt' mean? If I learned that my computer idiot older brother had found a way to hack into peoples' financial information, no matter how small or large, he would be turned in. If I caught a family member cheating on a spouse... Well, I suppose that is not necessarily a *crime*, but it sure is wrong. Hm. You have done the impossible, dear lady: you've made me sit back and think...

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    1. I think a lot of people feel the same way; hurting others is a deal breaker.

      HOWEVER...you've always struck me as a person who sits back and thinks on a regular basis. I don't think I'm in uncharted waters. :-)

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  7. If one of them ripped off a Wall Street scumbag my comment to them would be, "Are you going to share?!"

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    1. Ha ha ha...Wall Street is better at that task, unfortunately.

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  8. I don't have a child, only a stepdaughter--and that isn't the same connection a parent and her child feels. That would be tough. Can you imagine what parents of serial killers or mass murderers go through? That has to be the hardest thing in the world because it's your natural instinct to protect your children, but it's also the wrong thing to do to let that person continue to commit those crimes...or even to get away with having done them in the past...

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    1. In my mind, being party to the continuation of the criminal act would be unbearable. Hey, I lay in bed and worry about hurting the dog's feelings...just to put it in perspective.

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  9. I answered this on Arlee's: Hell Yes, I'm not going to be a co-dependant to stupidity.

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    1. And that is why I like you, Chris.

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  10. Yeah, when people are hurt, I'd definitely turn them in. Ripping off a rich idiot though, I'd just want my cut lol

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    1. Mike is waiting for you to join his club.

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  11. Easy question for me...

    My Brother once drank a six-pack of beer I had in the refrigerator.
    I called the police.

    ~ D-FensDogG
    'Loyal American Underground'

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    1. Yep...I like you...you're hilarious.

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  12. There are crimes of civil disobedience where I'd let it slide, but mostly I'd try and convince them to turn themselves in.

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    1. The easiest thing for me would be to convince the person (and succeed) to do the right thing, for sure.

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  13. I answered based on personal knowledge of my parents and children. If I were related to Ted Kaczynski, it would be a different story. I saw an interview with David Kaczynski a few years ago. He knew he had to turn in his brother, but he asked that Ted not receive the death penalty. It was actually his wife who alerted David to the documents by Ted published in newspapers. She recognized phrases Ted had used in letters to David. Ted Kaczynski is not right in the head. I think my parents were and my children are reasonably sane. I'm the crazy one.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. There's a lot of people who say stuff like "he can't help it" and let things go on and on. I know it would be really, really difficult. I'm not implying it would be easy. I'm also pretty sure that David Kaczynski didn't feel great afterwards, but he did something that saved lives.

      I'm still trying to navigate the sane versus the insane in my family. It's not always clear...

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  14. I would try to persuade the person to turn themselves in.

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    1. I think that is the best plan, if they'll do it.

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  15. Ooh, leaving a bit of mystery in the end... Well done ;)

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  16. I think with non-major crimes I'd likely let it slide. Dunno though!

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    1. Yeah, I wouldn't rat on someone who didn't get a building permit or did their taxes wrong...jaywalked...didn't keep their doggie vacinations up to date. I'm talking about the BIG hurtful crimes mainly.

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  17. If it's a matter of clearying one's coscious, you could always turn them in anonymously.

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    1. Conscious doesn't care if anyone knows...it just eats YOU up inside. I don't think that would clear mine.

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  18. Awesome work.Just wanted to drop a comment and say I am new to your blog and really like what I am reading.Thanks for the share

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Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo