It's purging time. Downsizing has come to the Flipside's humble abode. Why is it such a big chore? Oh, yeah...I remember: cause we have too much stuff.
While cleaning the bathroom storage cupboard, I realized we never have to purchase dental floss, toothpaste or shampoo again. A small collection of hairspray I hate popped it's ugly head up once more. And bobby pins...Lord, when did I last use a bobby pin? Yet, there they are...all clean and shiny in a nice container. I almost want to do pin curls, just to say I used them.
Even Coco has too many things. Turns out her owner, that wackadoodle, is a fan of shirts with sayings on them...like the Christmas themed "Cookie Snatcher" sweatshirt or the jailhouse striped Halloween costume.
I was tempted to post my phone number and ask everyone to take a turn calling my house at random times and shout, "Put that down! Throw it away!" to speed the process along. Ask me my favorite horror movie, just for the anxiety vibe of it.
If my husband answers the phone, just say: "Wow, she's really made some progress. Awesome. You're practically a minimalist. You could have a commune in the heartland. " Back me up, in other words.
...or at least be my back up singer. Hit it, peeps:
Too Much to Do
A purging song sung to the tune of "Close to You"
by The Carpenters
Odds & ends have numbers on the rise
But it's time to downsize -
It'll be rough, purging is tough
Too much stuff!
Why do I feel like it's a waste
If I don't save mini-toothpaste?
Empty dome? Hotel stuff comes home!
When I roam.
On the day the kids were born they gave me lots of samples
And apparently it started a big trend
'Cause I keep collecting things that I don't need
And I get extra stuff from friends!
Why do trays come in groups of ten?
Did I buy one again?
I don't know? Why is this so?
They have to go.
While I slept I had a dream that all my stuff was taken
I returned to find that nothing there remained
And policemen couldn't understand a sentence 'cause I laughed like the insane.
That is why all the kids in town
Get a box if they come around
Don't they see?
Sets me free!