Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Hump Day Sing-a-long: Too Much to Do


It's purging time. Downsizing has come to the Flipside's humble abode. Why is it such a big chore? Oh, yeah...I remember: cause we have too much stuff. 

While cleaning the bathroom storage cupboard, I realized we never have to purchase dental floss, toothpaste or shampoo again. A small collection of hairspray I hate popped it's ugly head up once more. And bobby pins...Lord, when did I last use a bobby pin? Yet, there they are...all clean and shiny in a nice container. I almost want to do pin curls, just to say I used them. 

Even Coco has too many things. Turns out her owner, that wackadoodle, is a fan of shirts with sayings on them...like the Christmas themed "Cookie Snatcher" sweatshirt or the jailhouse striped Halloween costume.

I was tempted to post my phone number and ask everyone to take a turn calling my house at random times and shout, "Put that down! Throw it away!" to speed the process along. Ask me my favorite horror movie, just for the anxiety vibe of it.

If my husband answers the phone, just say: "Wow, she's really made some progress. Awesome. You're practically a minimalist. You could have a commune in the heartland. " Back me up, in other words.

...or at least be my back up singer. Hit it, peeps: 

Too Much to Do
A purging song sung to the tune of "Close to You"
by The Carpenters

Odds & ends have numbers on the rise
But it's time to downsize - 
It'll be rough, purging is tough
Too much stuff!

Why do I feel like it's a waste
If I don't save mini-toothpaste?
Empty dome? Hotel stuff comes home!
When I roam.

(Chorus)
On the day the kids were born they gave me lots of samples
And apparently it started a big trend
'Cause I keep collecting things that I don't need
And I get extra stuff from friends!

Why do trays come in groups of ten?
Did I buy one again?
I don't know? Why is this so?
They have to go.

(Chorus)
While I slept I had a dream that all my stuff was taken
I returned to find that nothing there remained
And policemen couldn't understand a sentence 'cause I laughed like the insane.

That is why all the kids in town
Get a box if they come around
Don't they see?
That charity
Sets me free!

40 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Aww, that's a real compliment coming from you.

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  2. Great lyrics. I love to purge. If you find yourself unable to throw out something you don't need, call the Junebug. I'll be on my way. Your house will be empty with everything loaded in my moving fan before you know it.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. I'll start a box for you NOW. Explore the cheapest way to mail...or get in the car...

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  3. Good morning, dear Cherdo!

    It is I/me, Weird Shady Yankyourchain, licensed lyric lover.

    Song parodies, particularly Carpenters song parodies, are what you do best. They always make me smile. This one was close to brilliant.

    Mrs. Shady is a hoarder. (I need to be careful with my diction if and when I tell her so.) She refuses to throw anything away. She has a lovely collection of moldy mustard, mayo and salad dressings in our refrigerator. Will she used them in her vile, diabolical experiments?... dinner?

    Have a wonderful Wednesday, dear friend Cherdo!

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    1. Now that you mention it, I have a picture of me and Weird Al that I should post...we might have been separated at birth (that's probably insulting to Al).

      I don't want to be a hoarder myself but even more than that, I don't want to be enslaved by stuff and it's just so much nicer with less. Mentally, I feel like I'm finally able to let go of this "I might need that" mentality. I do see things as "perfectly good" or consider it wasteful to get rid of stuff. Then again, I'm a heck of a donation slinger!

      In my defense, I do give away stuff pretty often. There's an urban legend that says if you look at something longingly at my house, I'll give it to you. At this point, even I agree that is true.

      Enjoy your diabolical dinner...use EXTRA condiments and that will get rid of the hangers-on.

      It's late! Hope your Wednesday WAS delightful and just go ahead and accept this happy Thursday to boot. :-)

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  4. I can hear that as a pop hit for sure!
    Neither of us are collectors. And at least once a year, we go through stuff and get rid of what hasn't been used. My theory is that if it doesn't get drug out of the closet for use at least once a year, we don't need it.

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    Replies
    1. You need to manage my (cough, cough) career, Alex.

      A salute your willingness to separate yourself from clingy stuff! I'm getting better and better at it.

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  5. A splendid parody about an unpleasant task. And there's the worry: did you throw something away that would be needed later on?

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    1. Oh, don't say those magic words that make me re-consider...

      I've taken to replacing "will I need it?" with "is there any chance I'll wake up poor and unable to replace it if I make a boo-boo?"

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  6. We have those bins down at the end of our road--it's in the Kroger parking lot. There are so many, you can pick your charity! I take clothes down there and dump them in on a regular basis. It's SO easy. I know I should take it to Goodwill and get a receipt but I'd rather it go to a real charity, not one that sells it. Anyway, I'm a minimalist, so I'm always throwing things away. My husband is the opposite. When we moved, I was unpacked in just a couple of days. He had boxes out in the garage FOREVER until he finally went through them. And, of course, he kept all of that junk.

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    1. Any charity is good, but I have to correct one thing about Goodwill. The focus of Goodwill is to create a job for the handicapped individual and they provided them a wage by selling donated goods.

      At one point, I monitored group homes for mentally challenged adults. Many of these individuals LIVED for their time at work at Goodwill.

      True story: one older gentleman was hit by a car as he exited a city bus and broke both legs. He was inconsolable and weeping in the ambulance - not because of the injuries. He feared he'd lose his job at Goodwill if he was unable to go to work. His specific job was to run a machine made rags out of clothing that was too worn out to sell and he was totally aware of the limited number of jobs for people like himself.

      Finding a job and building skills is tough for some segments of society and I am thankful that Goodwill exists. I know they also hire able-bodied veterans, military families, single parents, etc. - but my heart always remembers what they did for the handicapped in my charge. That's why I never miss an opportunity to sing their praises.

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    2. What a wonderful/sad story.
      I hope he found another job there if he lost his.

      cheers, parsnip

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    3. They saved it for him! He was elated.

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    4. They saved it for him! He was elated.

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    5. They saved it for him! He was elated.

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  7. Love the song, perfect for people like me who feel choked by a house full of stuff.

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    Replies
    1. Choked is a good word for it, ha ha.

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  8. Awesome song! That song was almost written about me. I have too much stuff. I also have more shampoo then the 2 of us will ever need in the next few years. AND I also travel a lot and bring home the samples. Lately though a charity has been asking for the small hotel samples to put in bags and hand out to the homeless. I gave them a full bag. Its kind of liberating when I purge. I need to do it more.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Ha ha ha! Too much to do, Holli?

      Anyone can point the finger at me over the hotel shampoos, etc. The ridiculous part of it is that I always save them in case I'm traveling...but I stay in hotels, so how in the world does this cycle ever end?

      Missions that save those small sized things are the way to go.

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  9. Love your song parody!

    Downsizing sucks. When I moved in April I threw out a lot...my couch, a TV, a dresser, and of course I donated a lot of knick-knacks and books.

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    1. Moving is a great excuse to purge. We're not moving yet but we are actively in the process of finding a house and placing ours on the market. And honey, I'm not moving ANYTHING I don't need...mama is downsizing!

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  10. I am a chucker at my sea, if I don't need it or use it for a year, away it goes.

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    Replies
    1. I think men have an easier time at chucking...someone test this theory, please!

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  11. Gosh you are so inventive with the words going to the song-love it. I come from a family of packrats. I am the least of a packrat but I still have too much stuff. My dad was in his 20's during the great depression and my mom lived through the war so that says a lot. My mom would go through the garbage bag when i cleaned my room and take out half the stuff ("this file is perfectly fine even if it has coffee stains on it"). I once saw my mom cleaning peach pits and putting them away for some craft thing that she never did do. She never told me what her reason was for the peach pits. When my mom went to long term care, we cleaned out her stuff-she had containers of pistachio shells. When she moved in to my home she brought along 11 big boxes of pine cones. Yup....11!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not as far gone as saving peach pits, but I do have the crafter brain about me. I've saved pine cones from the yard for wreaths before, too, ha ha.

      Maybe I'm exactly like your mom...

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  12. I love to throw some old things out, recycle them, or donate them. But I have a huge obstacle....my hubby the collector (not quite a hoarder). Paper, magazines, books, you name it, and it has some unknown purpose to be kept somewhere. So I'm shoving it all in his office for him to deal with it, and I'll just stay out! Good thing he has his redeeming qualities!

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    1. Collecting is tough, too...and I am one of those people who get really sentimental about things from the past.

      Hubzam is pretty good at pitching stuff.

      One reason I dig digital photography is the ability to store in on an external hard drive, instead of boxes and boxes of pictures.

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  13. Thank God for charities! They're a great way to unload all that accumulated stuff!

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  14. I purge 3-4 times a year so I don't have this problem. There's not many things I feel sentimental to, beyond books and notebooks, so yeah. I tend to collect though for seeming no reason and then decide I don't want all that junk anymore. Try to sell it and if I can't it's either in the trash or to Goodwill. *shrug*

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    1. I would like you to visit and be my guest 3-4 times a year...there may be work involved...ha ha ha.

      Basically, it sounds like your endgame is the same as mine.

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  15. You should hang with me... given one chance I cut a swath through hoarded stuff like Attila the Hun.

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    1. Okay, I figure it's at least a ten hour drive...what time are you leaving your house, Attila?

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  16. Phew, you DIDN'T post you phone number.... Now put that down and throw it way!

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    Replies
    1. I'm going to leave this computer on and look at the comment every fifteen minutes or so...that should do it...

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  17. WEIRD DOC CHERDO ~
    You should record your parody and use it in a BOTB installment against The Carpenters' version. If it looks like it's going to be a shutout, I promise to vote for YOU.

    Good info about Goodwill. Thanks for posting that.

    And now, of course, I have to know: What is your favorite horror movie?
    (I'm guessing you don't like a lot of 'em, so it shouldn't be too hard to decide. Then again... I could be wrong on both counts.)

    ~ D-FensDogG
    'Loyal American Underground'

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  18. My daughter and I are hoarders. My wife is a purger. Her philosophy has carried the day over the past several months. I can't deny that the house does look tons better.

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  19. When you have so much stuff and need something you usually can't find it so you buy another one.

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  20. My home is very minimalist, but my studio is stuffed with paper lots of paper, paints, books, pens, dog pillows, more dog pillows and gud dugs who use them.

    cheers, parsnip

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Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo