One of my true life adventure of Cherdo stories involves post-op me, wandering around a drugstore with Hubzam as he attempted to fill my prescription for me.
A simple surgery turned ugly when they changed the plan at the last minute and gave me general anesthesa instead of a nerve block. I get sick in a Norse-gods-flinging-thunderbolts kind of way. My misery and GI betrayal fills the room and ellicits fear from bystanders. When I awoke in post-op, a pizza delivery kid stood at the nurse's station as they attempted to dress a stuporfied me. Brothers and sisters, I don't look all that good dressed...it just gets worse when you shed the garments. But do I need a reason to say I don't want to be exposed to a 17-year-old pizza delivery kid while paying top dollar for healthcare?
On the way home, we needed to get a prescription filled. Hubzam asked if I wanted to wait in the car or come in; I thought the walk might do me good. It was an idiotic thought.
Frustrated by the outpatient clinic's subpar (IMHO) performance, my mind was going wild with "I can't believe that..." type thoughts and foreboding "what-ifs." I was in a real snit. Suddenly, Hubzam responded to one of my thoughts. I froze in my tracks and asked, "What made you say that?"
"You've been jabbering nonsensically since we left the doctor, " he replied.
Boy, that was sobering...sort of. I was still trying to shake the anesthesia and now had a new worry. What had I said out loud?
Pretty regularly, I experience this fear that I might be thinking something so intently that it will pop out unintentionally, but I can say that I haven't actually done it since that outpatient surgery snafu. If mega-blurt was truly regular occurance, these are some of the things I'm afraid I might one day say outloud:
- Family: "Hubzam, there's no way you could ever catch up to my lifetime totals of dishwasher loading events. Your engineering degree does not trump my track record. It's not a thermodynamics or fluid mechanics heavy task."
- To my grocery cashier: "Hey! I'm here! Right here! Quit flinging that peach I spent waaay too long finding!"
- The women's boutique employees: "No, I don't need help for the ninth time. Since I'm not stealing and don't suffer from confusion, can we just say that I understand you want your name on my receipt of purchase? Tag - you're it. First one who calls it gets the commision. No one else need ask me if I need help."
- Music store employees: "Ten teenaged boys who only know three songs have monopolized the entire guitar section and cranked it up to a stupifying volume. They are NOT going to buy anything, people! They'll be here every weekend! I've got 18 music books and 10 sets of strings in my arms and I can't get anyone to let me purchase them. Is this a store or a prank?"
- Southern Friends: "Do I look sick? Why do you keep asking me, 'How ya feel?' I feel fine or I stay home."
- Panera customers: "Are you using the line to the cashier to practice your reading skills in public? 'Cause every time I get to the second place in line, the first place holder is looking at the menu like they've never seen a bagel or soup before...and they are reading the whole menu out loud like it's a primer. We've been in line for ten minutes and the menu has been there the whole time..."
- Family, Part 2: "Quit saying 'we' have to do things...we both know you're talking about me. The jig is up."
Whew! Glad I cleared that out of my head. Back to polite society.