Monday, October 12, 2015

Lyrics That Require a Comment


Timbaland: The Way I Are
Can you handle me the way I'm are?

Cherdo: I are. Or I be? My grammar is not as good as yours; I not "famous."



Madonna: I Love New York
I don't like cities, but I like New York,

Other places make me feel like a dork.

Cherdo: To clarify, ALL other places might give you that feeling if my estimates are correct. And I believe they are pretty darn close. The good news is it's not because they are cities...not that at all. Travel freely. Nice outfit.




Van Halen: Why Can't This Be Love?
Only time will tell if we stand the test of time...

Cherdo: You are so deep, Van Halen. So very, very deep. Only another deep, deep hole will show how deep your current hole is.



Cold Play: Fix You
Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones.

Cherdo: If lights ignite your bones, stay away from lights. Try LED. Not really a rule, but definitely a guideline.





Steve Miller Band: The Joker
Some people call me the space cowboy yeah, Some call me the gangster of love...

Cherdo: No one calls you the space cowboy or the gangster of love, Steve. Not really. Pinky swear.





Rihanna (featuring Drake): What’s My Name? 
The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? Cause I’ve been tryna work it out.
Cherdo: How about 8.3066238, Drake? You know when I stopped tryna work it out? When the calculator popped up the numbers 8.3066238. I'm gonna go with that.


Taylor Swift: Love Story
Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter; And my daddy said stay away from Juliet.
You're giving me a literary headache. Romeo goes with Juliet; a little diddy by Shakespeare. The Scarlet Letter is more Hester and Dimmesdale. Just because Daddy said to stay away from Juliet doesn't mean you can jump novels. And by the way, why was Daddy worried about you and Juliet? If he's Romeo and you're "scarlet letter," problem solved. He's in Italy and you're in colonial Massachusetts. This relationship isn't going to happen. Shake it off.



Live: Lightning Crashes
Lightning crashes, a new mother cries; her placenta falls to the floor.
I need to know: is this a cautionary hurricane story or a violent, anti-feminist tornado?




Nicki Minaj: "Stupid Hoe"
You a stupid hoe, You a...You a stupid hoe, stupid, stupid.
I'm going to pretend it's a garden tool. A garden, garden, garden tool...tool, tool. (Insert the appropriate level of snark here...this was actually a song that made the Top 100? Wow. Just my opinion...wow.)


47 comments:

  1. Good morning, dear Cherdo!

    I be sleepy but I be here still. If this was a BOTB, the last song would be Shady's Pick To Click. That's a deep hoe ditty and I dig it deeply, hoe hoe hoe. Didn't Andy Williams sing that one originally?

    I'm happy to see you back to your snarky self, dear friend Cherdo. Say hello to the G-man for me and let's have a great week.

    God bless!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah, traveling times...sure to whip it, whip it good.

      I'm beginning to feel my snark come back as I rest up and it's a good thing. I might not get back to five a week, but I'm making a little progress toward normal.

      Gonzo says, "Hey, Shady!!" Have a good week, buddy!

      Delete
  2. wahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    I adore this !
    Hope by now Gonzo is healing and feeling better !

    cheers, parsnip

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you liked it, dear pal! Thinking of you and thehamish.

      Gonzo is doing everything he can to comply with the doc's orders and heal! Thanks for asking, Gayle!

      Delete
  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well, I guess in the music world it is really just important for things to rhyme, not make sense. What is that post above from Seetha E? Hope Gonzo is doing well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Seetha comment was doomed when I saw it, ha ha.

      Gonzo is making progress but it will be a long haul. Thanks for asking, dear Linda!

      Delete
  5. I glad you be gooder at spellin and talk writin things.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Replies
    1. I can't claim an proficiency and I'm a notorious comma splicer.

      Delete
  7. Thanks for the great laugh! You are on a big snark roll today. And yeah, that deep Van Halen line. I think it was just leftovers from the previous album with David Lee Roth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome...I was saving up the tiny bit of snark that remainded and I'm re-seeding the blog, ha ha.

      Delete
  8. I am a Hostess Ho-Ho. Bite me, people who call women hoes.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't you find it odd that here we are in 2015, years of feminism push behind us, and people are willing to accept that kind of flotsam as entertainment? Really? I think it's cray cray (and I say that just because younguns' cringe when they see someone over 25 say it...yep, that's how I role).

      Delete
  9. So glad Gonzo's on the mend--he had all of worried!! Do you realize that half of the world's population are of below average intelligence?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, fishducky! He is trying really hard to be a great patient and slowly but surely, healing will happen.

      Ha ha ha...I do realize that half of the world's population are of below average intelligence NOW. You put it nicely, ha ha.

      Delete
  10. This is soooo awesome!!! The jumping novels cracked me up. I wish I could remember the song I heard the other day. I was cringing. It was terrible and that's probably why I didn't make a point to remember. I will admit though that Lightning Crashes is seriously one of my most favorite songs of all times. Placenta and all. I love Live and Ed K who was lead singer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes I wonder if anyone is listening to the words any more? I don't know about you but I want to know the lyrics and a good llyric will totally sell it for me.

      You watch out for that lightning, though.

      Delete
  11. I actually thought the Van Hagar lyric was pretty cool. Redundant, maybe, but cool. Sure beat the crap outta Jump, and it hit #1 too.

    I love the Live song, but lately have wondered if that lyric was one of those vaginal mesh issues...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure that the subliminal message to the Live song is to sue the medical supply company.

      Delete
  12. Oh I am laughing so hard right now. Madonna looks like Ernie Schwartz dressed up as Madonna. Has anyone told her she looks like an idiot? The "Shake it off" comment made me spit my juice out...maybe that was too much info eh? This reminds me of Steven Allen who would talk about the lyrics from songs. he had me crack up when he read the lyrics straight faced from a Beatles song..."She's just 17...you know what I mean.."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Juice spitting is the ultimate compliment for me, Birgit, ha ha ha. I thank you!

      I've seen that Steve Allen sketch and it was darn near perfect.

      Delete
  13. DOC CHERDO ~
    Thanks for the entertaining entertainment. These be some great lyrics, yo! Makes me wanna bust out me hoe, yo, and so some gardening, you know? And Van Halen should stand the test of crime.

    ~ D-FensDogG
    'Loyal American Underground'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...and I dare someone to call me a garden tool...why would anyone think that equates "talent"?

      Thus, I embrace geezerdom. If I had to be a youngun' again and that was all that was on the music buffet, I'd be a librarian and beat the radio with a hammer.

      Hope your doing well. I AM working on my 25...

      Delete
  14. You just made my day with this post. How accurate and funny. Glad I'm not the only one who was annoyed by the scarlet letter reference. "Shake it off" indeed. LOL
    Please come write my random rants next year. ;)
    You need to do a sequel to this post. There are so many songs that need a bit of work, grammar wise.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Every now and then, I have to ask musical questions and make comments. I'm pretty sure it will happen again (actually, I had enough rants for two more even now!).

      If I write your rants you'll get rants about my rants that you'll want to rant about, too.

      Delete
  15. I ARE in love with this here post.
    Is we is and is we isn't--
    Half these song writers belong in language prison. Yea.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thanks for the laughts... especially Taylor Swift mixing authors instead of metaphors

    ReplyDelete
  17. Great post, Cherdo!!! And I love your header!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Great post, Cherdo!!! And I love your header!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I need to change it up now and then.

      Delete
  19. Oh, my! How about lyrics from Streisand's 'I am a woman in love':

    NO TRUTH IS EVER A LIE. I STUMBLE AND FALL, BUT I GIVE YOU IT ALL!

    Urk...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Lord, Diana...must I admit that I had that album? Complete with Barry Gibb huggin' Babs on the cover?

      Delete
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Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo