Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Hump Day Petty Party


Hubzam and I have longterm goals in the relationship department and that is a shared blessing. A friend commented that she wished her relationship was as easygoing as mine. In other words, she is acting under the notion that Hubzam and I would never disagree or be at odds with one another. 

Oh, honey, grab the coffee...

Truly, we get along great but we do have our Petty Parties over the most ridiculous, useless, unimportant issues and even as I write this - I'm still petty about some things I recognize as idiotic! Is there hope for me? Probably not.

A few examples...

The Sock Petty Party
When I wash clothes, it's hard to keep all these dang socks straight. So I have two buckets sitting on my laundry-folding table: one for dark socks and one for light socks. This dumb idea keeps laundry folding to a minimum in the sock department, thus speeding up the task. Over the years, I've wasted hours trying to find missing socks. Let the guys sort them out. 

Hubzam does his part by complaining about mismatched socks and laying them on the washer, willy nilly, as he looks for a match. That caused my guilt gene to flair up and so I went to the sock bucket and sorted them all out and matched those loners up. After all, it's such a petty thing that I let a pile of mismatched socks irritate me, right?

A few mornings ago, I found all the matched socks thrown back in the bucket. 

My head popped off. The end.

(Repeat this episode 2-3 times monthly until your blood pressure reaches dangerous levels.)

The Yardwork Petty Party
On Saturdays, Hubzam will go outside and mow the lawn while I clean inside. The man actually loves to mow the lawn and I'm not inconvenienced in the least by his need to ride Ye Olde Husqvarna into the sunset while surrounded by a cloud of chlorophyll scented debris. No complaints here, boss.

Our front porch is level with the entrance; no steps at all. After I've ran the sweeper and dusted, I'll start to see grass and leaves here and there. Following this trail, I usually find that he pointed the mower's discharge chute toward the front door...'cause he'll sweep that later...after everyone has walked through it for hours...nothing bad could come of that plan. 

Except for when my head pops off.

Kids are not immune...

The "I'm Exhausted and You Just Crossed a Threshold of Patience" Petty Party
You've heard my stories of late: poor Gonzo has been laid up by an accident and wrestling with the incapacitation. He's been a champion of patients, seriously. Remember that as I relate this tale...there's not enough ellipses in the world to do it justice.

One night, long after Dad had gone to bed, I found myself about two hours past when I SHOULD have gone to bed. While trying to get Gonzo set up for the night, he was telling me what needed done for his comfort. "My pillows need moved...Could I have a fan turned on (he always sleeps with a fan...don't ask me why)?... Could I just move the fan two inches to the left?...The brace is uncomfortable; could we take it off and put it on again?... Can I have a glass of water?... How about moving that pillow, please, Mom?... The fan still isn't right...I'm out of water...and I think I will need another pillow...my foot is cold..."

Then he pointed at a spot on his face and asked me to scratch it for him. Dude: your finger is right there - scratch away!

Insert this face in your mental image of what is going on: 

While I would do anything in the world for Gonzo, I'm not a saint and the time comes when a person is just too tired to keep from making that specific face. It's the kid equivalent of the head popping off.

What's my point?

Everyone has that moment where they fire up their own custom petty party. More often than not, it's the people close to you who get invitations, hot air filled balloons, and noise makers. Don't let the party go too long and learn to laugh at your own ridiculousness. 

Update:
There are 19 dark socks on the laundry table. Grrrrrrrrrrr...

44 comments:

  1. Cut the 19th one in half & fold it as a pair!!

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    1. Ha ha ha ha ha...I'll wager a week won't pass before I use that line. Go ahead and report the crime.

      Delete
  2. Loved this narrative of your life. Sooo like mine and many others. My daughters head pops a lot over her boyfriend. She told him one day he'll be able to eat lettuce without looking like a shrub is growing out of his mouth.

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    1. That's what it feels like! You just bear it and suddenly...awwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

      Delete
  3. Loved this narrative of your life. Sooo like mine and many others. My daughters head pops a lot over her boyfriend. She told him one day he'll be able to eat lettuce without looking like a shrub is growing out of his mouth.

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    1. The other Anna of the Mutton Years felt the same way.

      (I do this often and if I knew why - I'd stop...but obviously, I don't...so I'm allowed to have fun with duplicates.)

      Delete
  4. DOC CHERDO ~
    "You knocked my block off!" with this blog bit! (Nappy and I used to love Rock 'Em-Sock 'Em Robots.)

    On one hand, I feel there's something for me to learn from this blog bit. But on the other hand, I know I'm a perfect saint - that I am my own gift to the world - so what could I possibly learn from this blog bit?

    Nevertheless, I dig the Rock 'Em-Sock 'Em drawing!

    Love means never having to say you're Maury.
    (If that doesn't make sense... I'm sorry.)

    Hey, the other day, you gave me a blog award, and now I want to resipri-- I want to resipraka-- I want to resyprokate... I want to give you one, too.

    This is my own special award, and I can't think of a single person who deserves it more than you do! So, please go here (http://tinyurl.com/nrdzt47) and collect yer award.

    Say...
    I have 50 pairs of socks
    That are 50 shades of grey.
    And they seem to have got away.
    If you should find 'em, put 'em in a bucket
    And I'll come for 'em... someday.
    ...OK?

    I admit I'm not much of a poet, but I always clean my plate, even eating ALL of my vegetables, and leaving NOTHING for the dog under the table nor anything for the starving people in China. (I was a good boy... because Batman was coming on in 30 minutes. "Holy vacuum cleaner on a dinner plate, Batman!")

    ~ Nurse Stephen

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    1. Hubzam and I frequently make that annoying noise and raise our heads (Robot like). It's the signal to move on, ha ha.

      Blogs are not ideal learning situations. First of all, you have to speak English. You have to understand English. Obviously, it gets more and more involved...see? I'm not up to the task. You're gonna have to learn the old fashioned way...by cutting off yer nose, yada yada yada.

      Keep that room picked up, boy! You'll have other rooms in your life but there will only be one Batman! How could anyone ever repeat that role?

      Check your spam folder...we're all spamily here.

      Sayanara, STM.

      Delete
  5. Gonzo would've been on his own at that point.
    My wife and I sleep with a fan blowing. White noise. Can't sleep in silence.
    I think my wife hits the head popping moment every time after I've loaded the dishwasher...

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    1. In truth (though not as amusing), I think he was so tired that he didn't even consider what he was saying. It was his roughest night and a pretty rough 24 hours for me.

      Gonzo absolutely cannot sleep without a fan. It was his biggest worry when we moved him to (technically) the living room till he recovered. Apparently, he also didn't understand the portability of a fan...

      I'm with her on the dishwasher.

      Thanks, Alex!

      Delete
  6. I'm often the laundry sorter at our house and the job's getting tricky. Daughter is now only a few inches shorter than wife so I can't eyeball shirts anymore. Socks are a little easier as my daughter's are generally more colorful. But the ladies occasionally throw me a curveball on that one, too.

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    1. My sneaky men are all morphing into similar sizes, too. It's so rude! I used to buy different kinds of socks, so gold toes belonged to one person and solid colors belonged to another. That lasted about ten seconds.

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  7. I hope your moments like those will be few!

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    1. It's looking up with the second cast removal. It's funny how big of a difference that made. But which a wheelchair, casts, hygiene needs, pain, etc....it will wear out the sufferer and the caregiver realy quick. He is doing well and I'm so thankful.

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  8. Ah, the moments of frustration....and we always take them out on the one closest to us (both in person and in heart). My hubby and I have a fabulous relationship. Our only difficulty is that I'm the Energizer Bunny, and he is Mr. Calm and Deliberate.

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    1. That may be us, too. It is most apparent when we have "projects." Hubzam will consider all options - so will I. But then I want to move forward and he is like the great miner of all other possible options. Then he will get second opinions. Maybe thirds. Then he wants to think about it a little more. Arghhhh...

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  9. lmao Gonzo sure wanted everything hahaha I've always slept with a fan too. just me, so no one to irk me but cats

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    1. He was groggy and on autopilot, but it was still irritating. Then I was mad at myself for caring! What a terrible mom I am, ha ha ha. Poor little injured kid...lol.

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  10. I sleep with a fan on too. Have to have it!! There are so many things I want to kill my husband over and everyone of them are the small petty things. I love him so much but my head does pop off quite frequently!

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    1. Yes! I have no REAL beefs with my love-pup, there's just a bunch of stupid, petty things. It's like a stone in your shoe...I mean, really, it's just a little stone. But it will irritate the stew out of you till you get rid of it.

      Glad to see you back and hope you're feeling better.

      Delete
  11. It would be tough to live with anyone without something they did driving you crazy. I tell myself that often! For me, it's my husband's habit of saying, "Let me finish" when he's telling a 30-minute long story. Or if I point out I've heard the story he's telling a million times, he gets mad. I'm like, "Really, do you want to go through the effort of telling this story again when I already know the ending? Am I just supposed to listen again?"

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    1. That's true - it is tough to live with someone and never be annoyed. If you think about it, you'd be annoyed with your own habits if you lived alone.

      I should feel guilty about complaining about petty things that the love-o-my-life does.

      I should, but............

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  12. I only wear black socks but I keep them separate from the rest of my laundry too. :)

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    1. ...because you're actually SMART, Chrys! We're wallering in our own ridiculousness, by comparison.

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  13. I only wear black socks but I keep them separate from the rest of my laundry too. :)

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    1. Hey...is this a visual pun related to pairs? Well played, my friend; well played.

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  14. About once every six months, I sit the kids down and we sort through all the single socks. In the meantime, we survive. I mean, this is Florida. You only even need socks for 2 months out of the year.

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    1. If I move to Florida, I'm never wearing socks again. Never, ever, ever.

      Delete
  15. I'm always somewhat amazed and baffled what couples will disagree about. When my wife and I get in a state of disagreement it's usually something pretty dumb. Most likely I think there is really some underlying thing that's more relevant, but the disagreement becomes manifested into something silly.

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

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    1. If you have a basically healthy relationship, you already like the person and have made a commitment. The only thing left is the petty stuff.

      And you're exactly right - there's frequently an underlying reason (I'm tired, I wish you'd do this instead of me, I'm doing something you should be doing, this is making me late...).

      Thanks, Lee!

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  16. When you live with somebody for so long, you're bound to have a few petty parties.

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  17. Next time I get that petty feeling I'll try to remember to call it a party...

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    1. We'll start a trend! You can say you were at the forefront!

      Delete
  18. Oh, darlin', you put up with too much. I washed socks and returned them. I didn't match them unless they were my socks. If my son put his sweaty, filthy socks in the laundry inside out, that's how they were washed and returned to him. He'd turn them right side out and complain they had grass and dirt inside. Then turn them right side out before you put them in the laundry, I'd say. I never backed down on that one. I also never picked up after anyone. I said, I am not your maid.

    But the thought of Gonzo telling you his face was itchy, that cracks me up. I think that sweet, unassuming boy knew he could push you over the edge. Well done, Gonzo. (Hey, kid, do you want to move to Florida after everything has healed? I'd love another son. We'll look at colleges together and get you a boatload of scholarships. I'm a good mom. You'll laugh so hard you'll break your stitches. If you ever need help with math, you'll have a brand new big sister who is the best math teacher ever. I know because she helped me get an A in a math class. Gonzo . . . Gonzo . . . I await your arrival. I know you want to be my son.)

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Hey, I'm on the Mom Squad. We have to put up with stuff. If the darned (or not darned) socks would have the decency to arrive in the laundry room together, I'd happilly reunite them. But we seem to have a gremlin of sorts.

      Truth be told, Gonzo would never do something just to irritate. I think he was just so tired and had taken pain medication and was just babbling. Still...I made the face 'cause I'm a terrible person. :-)

      Now, I've warned you once today (your blog) about son-stealing...now, if I can keep him from going willingly...

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  19. The Petty Party. I love it.

    I think we all have differing tolerance levels. Some of us have different levels on different days.

    I don't think it's possible to live with another person and not be annoyed. Period.

    Heck, I annoy myself some days!

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    1. When I'm tired, my tolerance dives. Mental weariness plays into that, too. Over the last month, I've had my share of just plain ole' worry and that wears you down. And like you said - living with people will eventually lead to a "party."

      Hubzam is still my perfect guy. Somedays, he is perfectly irritating. Others - perfectly fine.

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  20. Not sure if this would make me a favorite or a target, but- I have nothing but white tube socks. I wear them matched, mis-matched, inside-out, one of each. The easiest way to get burrs out from a woods walk is to put them on inside out after washing and pull out the ones that irritate.

    Well, maybe more sure than I think...

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    1. All socks of the same variety would make you immensely popular at Casa de los Cherdo. The most annoying part is the one socks that look so much like each other till you hold them up to one another. Back to digging in the pile...

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  21. I did this a long time ago for my "good" socks. (not my everyday white crews) I took all my socks and threw them out. Then I bought a bunch of Gold Toe socks (on sale) of all the same kind, a few different colors. I don't worry about matching anything. I just grab two socks of the same color and go.

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    1. Brilliant! You know what happens every time I want to do this? Someone (no names mentioned....ahem...) says the socks are "still good" and wants to keep them PLUS add a different kind...

      Yep...it's a party sometimes.

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  22. I wear socks with patterns on them and neutral colours like beige and such, and I have a variety of different patterns, and no two pairs of socks are identical, so it is easy for me to find the match and put them together after laundry. :)

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  23. You did read my recent blog about the dirty dishes in the sink, right? Hahaha. Yes we all have these "petty parties". I was married to a wonderful man for 23 years before he passed. We never faught, but we had our petty parties!! Relationships would be too boring without them.

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Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo