Monday, February 1, 2016

Blog Worlds Collide: BOTB, Question of the Month, The Lost & Found Valentine Blog Hop 2016


If you take a gander at all my blog peeps, you'll see they're involved in a wide variety of interests. Statistically speaking, it was bound to converge into one giant blog hop one day. Triple threat day is here as I participate in STMcC's Battle of the Bands, Michael D'Agostino's Question of the Month, and The Lost & Found Valentine's Edition Blog Hop (the hosts for this event are Guilie Castillo-Oriard, Elizabeth Seckman,Yolanda Renee, Denise Covey, and Alex J Cavanaugh). 


Yikes! Dats a lot o' hopping but I think I can knock it out. It may not be visually appealing but you can't always get what you want...(say this with Mick Jagger lips, please).


FOUND LOVE:

The most important part of this blog hop would be the "love found" portion and I'm going to go out on a limb and say that if you've read my blog with even minimal regularity, you've heard me mention my Hubzam. He is now and will always be my love found, cherished, and kept close at hand.

No matter who I might have liked, had a crush on or dated, there is only one person in my life who always had my back: Hubzam. He's my best friend and confidant; he's honest and loyal. I didn't realize how much I craved loyalty till I actually had it; I can't ever go back. Even more importantly, he is my rock. People, if you don't have a rock, I truly despair for you. Put all that together with a liberal layer of commitment and viola: it's "found love."

LOST LOVE:

There are fears I'm afraid to mention in the light of day. Perhaps, if I don't talk about it, it will go away. I've not shared this with anyone but my dear mother is getting frightenly forgetful. It's not just forgetting that troubles me, though. She's more gullible; an easy target for someone who who wants to take advantage of a senior adult.

Last week, she was sure she had won a mysterious sweepstakes and no amount of talking could convince her otherwise. She told me that the guy (and his, ahem-cough-cough, boss) called her so much on the phone that she unplugged the base. She told me that finally, she agreed to meet him at the bank...

HOLD YOUR HORSES; WHAT THE DILLY-YO?. "You did what? Mom, please don't meet anyone at the bank...this is a scam. You'll either get robbed in the parking lot or someone will break in to your house, " I just-about-yelled with daughterly earnestness. It was totally wasted on Mom.

In the same tone that assured me I looked great at prom or had the most beautiful, clever children who ever walked the planet, she asserted her convictions about her pending legitimate winnings and the even more ludicrous legitimacy of the individuals who desperately wanted to put mighty dollars in her hands. There was no convincing her otherwise.

Likewise, I've told her repeatedly that the automatic blood pressure cuff is not warning her of low blood pressure when it reads L O W. The battery is low and it needs changed. She's been amazed at my keen insight into this issue the last eight times she mentioned her "low" blood pressure.

Repetition has taken the place of our long, meandering phone calls that hit every free form opinion that was on our minds. Oh, how I miss that. We'd willingly wander from topic to topic; it was a guilty pleasure followed by embarrassed laughter about how long we'd stay on the phone. In place of those conversations, two or three comments are repackaged and repeated over and over.

At times, Mom will tell me she's worried about her memory. I had her get out a piece of paper and write down things I wanted her to mention to her doctor: review her medication, re-check her blood pressure, tell him about the increased forgetfulness. She reads it back to me but I know she'll misplace it and I can't drive eleven hours to each appointment, especially when my own son has had more than his share of doctor appointments and therapy these past five months due to an accident.

In nursing school, they stressed the fact that you should never support a delusion. That sounds right on the surface until you're trying to convince your mom that what she thinks is happening - isn't. Or when I'm trying to make the point that she's not processing information clearly in a given situation and there's a little voice in my head that is warning me not to damage my relationship along the way.

Do I stand firm or just go along?

Bit by bit, I'm losing something I love as aspects of Mom's personality fade away. Our colorful conversations have turned gray; the nurse in me is not hopeful that this will improve. And so, this is my "lost love" for this season of my life. Sure, I've had other lost loves; I just can't seem to recall them at this juncture because they pale in comparison. I only have one Mom.

BATTLE OF THE BANDS: "Shades of Gray"

It's been a long post already, so let's just get to the battle. The Monkees made this tune famous but they weren't the first to record it. No...I did not know that till I tried to find battle participants. I've always loved the lyrics to this song. They fit with today's theme.

CONTENDER #1: THE MONKEES


Well, I told you the Pre-fab Four weren't the first. The Sons of Champlin hold that distinction and it is sooo sixties; it's a worthy opponent.

CONTENDER #2: THE SONS OF CHAMPLIN



Now for the fun part! Follow ALL these worthy blogmeisters and I'm gonna give it my best shot at visiting them all, too.

For The Lost & Found Valentine Edition Blog Hop 2016:




For Michael D'Agostino's Question of the Month:



Vote in the Battle of the Bands for The Monkees or The Sons of Champlin below. Last, but not least, visit the other folks who participate in the Battle of the Band:








69 comments:

  1. I know your mom has worried you for quite some time. My sister-in-law was diagnosed with dementia a few years ago. At first, she continued to live in her home, with her son and neighbors checking on her. Then she continued to live in her home with an aid coming in to assist her part time. Then she entered an assisted living facility. I haven't received Christmas cards or thank you notes from her for quite some time. Her younger son told me recently that she'd been taken off one of her medications, and a fog had lifted from her. Last week, I received a thank you note from her for the Christmas goodies I sent. I cried tears of joy. I hope you will have happy tears for your mom soon. It doesn't sound as if she can have power of attorney over her own money. I'm sorry. I wish I could help.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Thank you, Janie! I'll be calling you for gabfest soon.

      Delete
  2. Thank you for joining us in Lost & Found. Yes, this was quite the convergence of events, but you did it well.

    I can really relate to your story about your mom as I had a few years of the same. Now I miss my mom so much and yet I'm glad neither she nor my siblings and I have to deal with watching her deteriorate into helplessness. Age can be a cruel trickster and now I can only wonder when it will hit me and will I go through what my mother went through. They are tough times no doubt.

    Interesting song battle. I'd never heard that song before--it's a nice one.

    I going to vote for The Monkees--it had an easier sound to it.

    Arlee Bird
    A to Z Challenge Co-host
    Tossing It Out

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    1. Thanks, Arlee; you understand how the mama stories go.

      Love the Lost & Found idea. Kudos for that.

      A VOTE FOR THE MONKEES!

      Delete
  3. Your mum relationship is very familiar . I have the same with my dad and we're pretty well agreeing with much of what he says with nods and looks at each other over his head. Very sad when you know who they were .

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    1. This situation is not uncommon and you've hit the nail on the head. Very sad when you know who they were.

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  4. That's a tough one. If you can tell her with tact and love, you need to.
    Next time, make a copy of that list and mail it to her doctor yourself.
    Maybe getting her a new phone number as well?
    I'm actually going to pick the second song.
    Thanks for participating in the blogfest.

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    1. Thanks, Alex! Good idea about mailing it - except she keeps forgetting to fill out the form to allow me to talk to her doctor. And I have power of attorney (plus medical), but the office wants me to hand deliver it...yes, that's what I said...eleven hour drive...

      A VOTE FOR S.O.C.!

      Delete
  5. So sorry to hear about your mom. Aging parents is a topic many of us are dealing with. Your mom is lucky to have you in her life to help her through this trying situation. I'm so glad you have your "rock" to lean on.

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    1. He's a keeper for sure - or were you making a very clever pun about my rock and roll? LOL. Either way, thanks, Stephen!

      Delete
  6. So sorry for your "lost love" comments. I'm with Alex...make a list for the doctor. I've known several people lately who have had to go to a facility for memory care, as the family could no longer care for them. My hubby's aunt was in one for 15 years, and didn't know any of her family for the last ten. So happy you have the Hubzam to be there with you through a difficult time. I think I'll go with the Monkees on the song.

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    1. If she thought it was a social thing, she might go for it! ;-)

      Thanks, Linda, and ONE MORE VOTE FOR THE MONKEES!

      Delete
  7. Age and disease makes us different people from the way we were. My dad can't hear anything anymore, finally at the insistence of my mom bought a hearing aid, and doesn't wear it. The result is lost communication and relationship with his family plus when you can't hear, it changes your reality. His choice.

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    1. Tough choice, I'd say. Tough on everyone else. Poor Dad.

      Thanks, dear.

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  8. I gotta go with #2 Sons of Champlin. What a tough situation to be in with your mom! I guess at some point, safety might have to come over worrying about hurt feelings.

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    1. Yeah, I just really want someone to find that perfect point and point me in that direction. It is elusive.

      A VOTE FOR S.O.C.!

      Delete
  9. Wow, Cherdo—GREAT battle! I'm going with The Monkees, but it was a tough decision. And I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. Mine is heading that way fast, and every little incident drives a shard of glass into my soul. Doesn't help that I live so very far away, either. Stay strong... She'll need it. And so will you. Sounds like your hubby is your rock, though—that's a wonderful, wonderful thing to have. Viva love found! (So glad you joined the L&F hop :) )
    Guilie @ Quiet Laughter

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    1. "...every little incident drives a shard of glass into my soul." YES! That is the perfect description and I live far away, too.

      Thanks for the comments, Guillie, and ANOTHER VOTE FOR THE MONKEES!

      Delete
  10. Given how hard it is to lose mom to confusion, I'm so glad you have Huzbam right beside you to help you through it. It's very difficult watching a sharp lady lose it. My great grandmother and grandma (mom's side) both slowly lost their minds. I can see my mom losing her edge now. Let's face it, she already lost most of her money to a scammer, so I FEEL your pain.

    As for the battle, I prefer the stripped down version by The Monkees.

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    1. Robin, I just remembered your story about your mom and the scammer! Oh, it's frustrating. You understand the situation way too well, eh?

      A VOTE FOR THE MONKEES and thanks, buddy!

      Delete
  11. That's awful about your mom, especially the whole scam thing. People that prey on the elderly are the lowest of the low. And she may not be the same, but you being there for her makes all the difference in the world.

    As for the battle, I enjoyed both versions, but I like The Monkees just a little better.

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    1. The parasites of the elderly are absolutely the worst; how much more cruel can you be? Maybe baby kickers? Thanks for your kind comment, guys.

      A VOTE FOR THE MONKEES!

      Delete
  12. I am so sorry about your mother. Dementia, or age related vulnerability, are so hard. I hope you were able to intervene with those crooks. How terrifying! Can she move closer to you? Oh, I hope so. I'll say prayers for her and your family.

    Mary at Play off the Page

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    1. Actually, I ask her to move with me all the time. I've even told her to come here for the winter, at least (our winter is much milder that her northern mess). So far, it doesn't seem to be working.

      Thanks for stopping by, Mary!

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  13. Deepest sympathies about your mom. I read two books recently about that circumstance, and both broke my heart. To be living through it... Sending epic cheese and sunshine to support you through.

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    1. Epic cheese is exactly what I needed, Crystal. Thank you so much! :-)

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  14. Your post brought a tear to my eye, well, make that at least two tears. One for joy at your having found your 'rock', especially that he is also your best friend. That dear girl, is love.

    The next tears are of sadness with the story of your Mom. The last five years of my mother's life she was very confused and at the very end didn't know who I was. I feel a terrible sadness just thinking about that. Add it to the fact that I was much too young to lose her or even really understand how this strong, crazy woman could slip so quickly and completely into the fog that she was forced to live in. That is a hard, hard thing.

    Now for the songs. It's The Monkees by about a thousand miles, and that's all I'm gonna say there.

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    1. What a sweet comment. You know I love ya, FAE.

      Everyone has a struggle of one sort or another and I haven't lost sight of the fact that I am very blessed, too.

      Thanks for the vote, too: ONE MORE FOR THE MONKEES!

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  15. How wonderful for you and Hubzam (love that!) You must stand firm with Mom, dear one, for her sake more than anything else. I've cared for three cherished vintage people and I know it's not easy when you're doing all you can to preserve the dignity of a loved one. The single most important (if not exactly reassuring) thing to remember is that the loved one (thankfully) doesn't realize the changes taking place.
    I hadn't heard that song before but I still choose the Monkees!:-)

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    1. Ah, the vintage people! I love that. Good advice, Diedre.

      A VOTE FOR THE MONKEES! And my thanks.

      Delete
  16. I'll add your Mom to my prayer list. Even my Mom has passed, it must be hard to watch as your Mom loses bit & pieces along the way. I feel for you, Cherdo.

    I am going with the simplicity of the Monkees with this song.

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    1. Thanks, Dixie - I think that would do the most good at this point. Some days, she sounds almost like herself and just repeats things. It's not that she is totally out there but the forgetfulness and her gullibility lately is unnerving.

      A VOTE FOR THE MONKEES!

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  17. First, so sorry about your mom. I have seen a lot of people get lost like that, met online others going through the same... It really sucks to watch the person you know fade away, and sucks worse to BE the person from which it slips. I would have to say I would rather end it than go out like that.

    Laurie had the advantage on me being a Monkees freak and knew the song. I've heard it, but not often. If the Sons had a different lead vocal, I might have given them the nod because I liked the harmony better... but I couldn't get past that lead vocal. Monkees for me.

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    1. I like Laurie more and more (ha ha). As a short person, my neighbor and I were the biggest Monkee-geeks that ever walked. That's not a bad thing, ha ha. In fact, it is a fond memory.

      A VOTE FOR THE MONKEES! Thanks, Chris!

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  18. Oh Cherdo, your post made my cry! I'm so sorry that you are experiencing all that with your mom. Isn't it hell to watch our parents age?? Time robs them of so much. I have my parents here with me now (they're spending the winter with me) and I'm so very grateful to have this time with them. I will pray for your mom.

    As for your battle: I love the Monkees! But I have to say, I really enjoyed The Sons of Champlin's version much better! So please give my vote to them.

    Wonderful post. Thank you for sharing about your beloved Hubzam and your precious mom! Perfect portrayal of love found and love lost...

    Michele at Angels Bark

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    1. Don't cry, Michele! Tell your parents to call my mom and suggest she spend the winter with me. A peer pressure situation, perhaps.

      A VOTE FOR S.O.C.! Thanks, my friend.

      Delete
  19. With your mum's doctor appointments if you can't be there and would like him to address something you should think about seeing if you can email the doctor with your concerns if you can't email then do it the old fashion way write him/her a letter spelling out your concerns this way the doctor is aware and bring the issues up without waiting for your mum to do so.

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    1. I'm grateful for any and all ideas, Jo-Anne! Thanks, dear.

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  20. I know someone who caught her MIL standing in front of her house with thousands of dollars in cash, waiting for her new car she won to show up.

    The Monkees

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    1. Yow. The "won money" situation was a new worry for me. I'm hoping she won't stop telling me about these situations (my not-so-secret worry).

      A VOTE FOR THE MONKEES!

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  21. I'm so saddened to hear about your mother's memory loss. I'm blessed with my 91 year old and sharp as a tack mother so it's hard to comprehend what you must be feeling. My Dad had a stroke so he was always living with someone until he had to go into a nursing home. That was different. Contact your mother's bank and put them on alert that any withdrawals should be verified with you or someone else that is appointed. I saw that happen more times than I'd like to remember in my banking career days.

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    1. My mom's grandma was sharp as a tack at 93, too. Genetics, don't fail me now...

      Thanks, Barb - good idea.

      Delete
  22. Love found with hubby is beautiful!
    Love for your mother - how sad for you, and being so far away! Heartache at its worst!
    Contender 2 gets my vote!

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    1. Thanks, Yolanda! A VOTE FOR S.O.C.!

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  23. No rock for me. Had a love but she left me. So that's my found and lost in a nutshell. Unfortunately, no one else has filled the void. That's pretty much where my bloging comes in.
    BOTB - Love the monkeys but I was unfamiliar with this song. So I was able to go into this battle unbiased. I thought I'd pick the monkeys but I liked the rendition from the Sons of Champlin.

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    1. Ah, Jeff...that is a sad little nutshell. You have a great blog and blog just give a peek into the folks behind them. Someone else will see that, too.

      A VOTE FOR S.O.C.! Thanks, Jeff!

      Delete
  24. This is quite a beautiful song and it goes to The Monkees because I liked their harmony better. They sang it better and with more heart. I am so glad you have your hubzam to hold you up when you are down and raise you up when you are feeling great. My mom will be turning 88 on Feb. 10th and it is hard since my mom has dementia. Is there anybody near where she lives that can step in and see about this issue? Can you call any place and inform them of this scam? I would be very worried also especially if I lived so far away. When I took the Alzheimer's course, I learned so much and one that imprinted on my brain is "You will not win." If they feel strongly, you can not change their mind at all-they will argue the point until you feel defeated. I wonder if there is any agency that is near your mom where they could contact her. We have Gatekeepers and they contact people who may be at risk. I have called them about my clients more than once. I saw my mom this evening and she is getting worse. It is very difficult at times because she is fading from my sight and I miss her so much. I do understand and am so glad I have my hubby to lean on.

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    1. The distance is the most troubling aspect, to be sure. And I guess I'm already having the defeated feeling. A Gatekeeper situation is what I need.

      Prayers for your situation, too, Birgit. Tough...argh!

      A VOTE FOR THE MONKEES! Thanks, meine Freundin!

      Delete
  25. Hi, Cherdo,

    SOOO sorry about your MOM.... it must be so frustrating to you, knowing she is being scammed and she insists it's legit...

    My parents passed away at early ages and for me it was physical health issues. But mental can be so much more challenging because you are not dealing with a rational person...

    My Mom's best girlfriend, who is like a second mother to me, has lost a great deal of her memory. There was a time when I tried to care for her and took her to many doctors who prescribed meds to help her neuropathy, but she never takes the pills (forgets) and insists they don't work. The poor thing has trouble moving and she never remembers that I called. I live in Chicago and she's in Florida. For three years straight I had spent my winters at her daughter's house when she went to sea... but for the passed few years I haven't... I feel terrible, but there's nothing I can do for her now.

    But you love your mom and want to be responsible for her... so hard... Sending a HUGE hug to you... Keep breathing and KEEP INSISTING... maybe at some point you'll get through to her. I hope so!

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    1. Michael, I'll accept that hug (ha ha); love your kind heart.

      If I could just find a happy middle ground that kept her safe, I'd be elated. This is the essence of pure frustration right now.

      Thanks for sharing your story; I know that was so tough for you and you did all you could. Hugs right back at ya.

      Delete
  26. Cherdo, It's always nice to read when other couples feel strongly for one another like my DH and I do. I'm sorry to hear the things you're facing with your mother, especially with her so far away. That's hard! As much as I like the Monkees, I think I like The Sons of Champlin doing this song better. I don't know why, except to say their vocals seemed to suit it best. Good battle, my friend! PS: I'm sorry I haven't answered your last email, but that's the way life goes sometimes. :( I'll get on that ASAP!

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    1. A VOTE FOR S.O.C.!

      Don't worry about email; I'm happy to say that this counts as communication! We're good (hey, we're practically neighbors...). Thanks, Cathy.

      Delete
  27. Having a Rock is very important.

    So sorry about your mom. You need to find someone closer to her to be your go-between. And make friends with her doctor's nurses and email them with questions or comments.

    I'll choose Sons of Champlin!

    Thanks for sharing with us!
    Heather

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    1. Thanks, Heather, for the comments; good idea, too.

      A VOTE FOR S.O.C.!

      Delete
  28. Watching your parents fade away is tough. At least you have a strong love by your side to help you through tit.

    As for the song, I'll vote the Monkeys. Both did very well though.

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    1. Thanks, Dolorah! You're exactly right.

      A VOTE FOR THE MONKEES!

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  29. So sorry your mom is going through that. Definitely she should mention it to her doctor. He may be able to pinpoint a medication that's causing it...or there may be things they can do to help if there's a natural cause. It looks like so many other commenters have great advice on what to do.

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    1. You know, we do hang with an intelligent bunch of folks, don't we? And NICE, too. You're on the list.

      Thanks, Stephanie.

      Delete
  30. That loyalty thing is crucial. Maybe it's your hillbilly roots?

    Before my mom remarried, I felt like I was quickly losing my mom. She would be telling me a story and in mid sentence switch to another topic and then pause and say, "What were we talking about?" Hell if I knew. She was like a conversation kaleidoscope. Now, I think a lot of it was depression. Her mind was just a million miles away all the time. But she had me worried because my grandfather (her dad) suffered from dementia.

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    1. You better believe loyalty is crucial. It's my hot button issue. Okay, it's ONE of my hot button issues.

      My mom's situation is going beyond forgetfulness and she knows it, too, but doesn't always admit it. I'm so afraid something will happen. Literally, I'm waiting for the "other shoe" to drop.

      Thanks, Elizabeth - Go, Mountaineers!

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  31. Thumbs up on your love found. Being married to the right person is the best thing ever.

    On your love lost, my heart goes out to you. I'm sure the situation is even more difficult because of the geographical distance between you. Several of my friends cared for a parent with Alzheimer's, and I remember how tough it was for them. Best thing was there were often brief periods of lucidity, too. Hang in there, kiddo.

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    1. Thanks, Susan! When she sounds like herself, I'm grateful. The repetition and forgetfulness...arghhh...

      Delete
  32. Hi, DOC CHERDO! ~
    That's the most I ever done seen you write in a blog bit.

    Part 1) Three cheers for Hubzam: Kip-kip-hooray! Kip-kip-hooray! Kip-kip-hooray!

    Part 2) That was pretty heartbreaking to read. Especially because in some ways, I've been there... I used to have some great conversations with my Ma: She was really sharp, a great judge of character, and had lots of thoughts and opinions to share - GOOD ONES!

    And then as she got older, she started getting forgetful. But the worst was yet to come... One day I was over at her house watching the Airheadzona Diamondbacks game with her. First baseman Mark Grace was being interviewed, and I said something to her about him. She replied, "I'm sorry. You'll have to remind me... who is Mark Grace?"

    Mark Grace only happened to be her very favorite player on her favorite team.

    I immediately told her: "Get your coat, and come on! Come with me!"
    "Where are we going?" she asked me.
    "To the hospital."
    "Why? What's wrong?"
    I told her, "I don't know what's wrong, but something is DEFINITELY wrong with you and we need to get to the hospital right away!"

    If my Ma could possibly forget who Mark Grace was, this was some SERIOUS SH-- STUFFS!

    Turned out she'd had a stroke, and she was never the same after that. The feistiest woman I'd ever known suddenly became very docile, almost childlike. Her personality was permanently changed, and it broke my heart. We never had a great conversation after that, and she passed away a few years later. Very sad. And if I'd known then what I know now about an alternative therapy, she never would have suffered the stroke in the first place. Sad...

    3) Hoo-Wee! When you said yer BOTB was going "under the radar" you sure were right. Not only had I never heard of this song before, I'd never heard of THE SONS OF CHAMPLIN before, either. (How come there's no mention of The Daughters Of Champlin? Rise up, Peoples! Rise up and fight the Patriarchy!)

    What a shocker! I grew up with The Monkees, and Davy Jones was always my favorite Monkee, but... THE SONS & DAUGHTERS OF CHAMPLIN get my vote! Loved the harmonies and... everything else about their recording.

    When I saw the contestants: Monkees Vs. Sons Of Champlin (Who Dey?), I figured this would be a no-brainer vote for me. ...It was, but not in the way I 'spected.

    ~ D-FensDogG
    'Loyal American Underground'

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    1. Kip-kip-hooray, indeed! Ha ha ha.

      Your story about your mom's situation is probably happening time and time again, sadly. Just think of how much worse it might have been if you weren't there to recognize the symptoms and get her some medical attention.

      My mom is just so noticeably different lately; it's painful to deal with and there's also a part of me that thinks she is lonely, too. She's always been one to go-go-go and one of her great obsessions has been these dance classes she takes. My cousin told me she is having problems participating AND driving. I hadn't even thought about the driving part till she mentioned it.

      You likey my sub-radar battle, eh?

      My next door neighbor and I were Monkee-obsessed. One of the great experiences of a 60s-70s childhood has to be television and cartoon obsession. Remember when the specter of a new cartoon Saturday event was the best thing ever?

      I met Davy Jones three times and every time, he was extremely kind and a true gentleman. If it was an act, it was a good one and it was consistent.

      And the upside, I received the most amazing birthday card from Reno. The fella who sent it really knew how to swing an 8-ball, too. The insight; amazing! Darn near perfect birthday gift, no joke. And it wasn't a cheesy Hallmark, either (I laughed about the comment on the back). Thank you, so much.

      I've always said you're a lot sweeter than you let on...well, the cat's out of the bag now.

      A VOTE FOR S.O.C.! What an upset for the Monkees!

      Delete
  33. Nothing to say that hasn't been said better.

    Voting for the Monkees. The Sons of Champlin seem too happy.

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    1. I know, right? Ha ha ha.

      Thanks, Man - A VOTE FOR THE MONKEES!

      Delete

Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo