With each successive day, explaining the potential geezer crossover points gets trickier. Let's look at "news" and newspapers.
First off, no self respecting young person is tied to print news anymore. How do I know this? I can see the look on their babyfaces when I reference anything from our local paper, an untapped source of words assembled for reasons they cannot fathom on any level (apparently).
Clippings relevant to classes I teach are routinely hoarded by yours truly and shared with impressionable young globs of gray matter. Recently, a teen (generally regarded as intelligent) asked me where I got my newspaper and looked somewhat shocked to hear that "someone" actually dropped it off in my driveway. Every. Day. He waited for me to say, "yeah...I'm kidding...that's not a thing" and even did the snarky air quotes as he asked about the mysterious "someone" who would drop news at my feet.
But dude: it's a thing; honest.
My young scholar attempted to backtrack and make his concern legitimate. He pondered aloud about the potential for felonious driveway thefts, weather related newspaper damage, distribution confusion...and I surmised that there was a very real possibility that no one ever told him about the whole "paperboy" era and the existence (on Earth, at least) of home delivery of the daily news. This is all speculation on my part, since I found myself uncharacteristically at a loss for words and my brow muscles hurt for the rest of the day from the face I made throughout the conversation. Does that constitute a work related injury (because I may still have that incredulous look frozen on my mug)?
Why do we still subscribe to print news?
The Big Guy, Master of the House, my dear Hubzam, loves the daily paper -- but comments daily on its demise. We marvel at what is the front page news. In general, news in print is less and less newsworthy. His "holdout" love of the daily puzzle and comics keeps us paying the EXORBITANT fee for daily delivery.
Recently, work required dear Hubs to go out of town for two weeks. While he was gone, I saved every page of comics and puzzles. Once collected, I assembled the pages (plus the current front page) and created a custom paper that was nothing but a days worth of headlines followed by 14 pages of comics and 14 puzzles. Single-handedly, I had created his news dream.
- If you still get home delivery of the newspaper...
- If you chose hotels because you get a free newspaper...
- If it's okay with you that the news in print comes two days after I read it on my phone...
YOU MIGHT BE A GEEZER.
(Update: My faithful in-house newspaper reader continues to complain about the lack of true news in his print media and threatens the physical newspaper that he is gonna "cut off his subscription" if it doesn't do better. For the sake of journalistic integrity, I held the same paper in my hands and asked it, point blank, if it had any comment. I'm still waiting.)
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