Tuesday, April 16, 2019

If You Do This, You Might Be a Geezer: N is for Newspapers


With each successive day, explaining the potential geezer crossover points gets trickier. Let's look at "news" and newspapers.

First off, no self respecting young person is tied to print news anymore. How do I know this? I can see the look on their babyfaces when I reference anything from our local paper, an untapped source of words assembled for reasons they cannot fathom on any level (apparently).

Clippings relevant to classes I teach are routinely hoarded by yours truly and shared with impressionable young globs of gray matter. Recently, a teen (generally regarded as intelligent) asked me where I got my newspaper and looked somewhat shocked to hear that "someone" actually dropped it off in my driveway. Every. Day. He waited for me to say, "yeah...I'm kidding...that's not a thing" and even did the snarky air quotes as he asked about the mysterious "someone" who would drop news at my feet. 

But dude: it's a thing; honest.

My young scholar attempted to backtrack and make his concern legitimate. He pondered aloud about the potential for felonious driveway thefts, weather related newspaper damage, distribution confusion...and I surmised that there was a very real possibility that no one ever told him about the whole "paperboy" era and the existence (on Earth, at least) of home delivery of the daily news. This is all speculation on my part, since I found myself uncharacteristically at a loss for words and my brow muscles hurt for the rest of the day from the face I made throughout the conversation. Does that constitute a work related injury (because I may still have that incredulous look frozen on my mug)?

Why do we still subscribe to print news? 

The Big Guy, Master of the House, my dear Hubzam,  loves the daily paper -- but comments daily on its demise. We marvel at what is the front page news. In general, news in print is less and less newsworthy. His "holdout" love of the daily puzzle and comics keeps us paying the EXORBITANT fee for daily delivery.


Recently, work required dear Hubs to go out of town for two weeks. While he was gone, I saved every page of comics and puzzles. Once collected, I assembled the pages (plus the current front page) and created a custom paper that was nothing but a days worth of headlines followed by 14 pages of comics and 14 puzzles. Single-handedly, I had created his news dream.


  • If you still get home delivery of the newspaper...
  • If you chose hotels because you get a free newspaper...
  • If it's okay with you that the news in print comes two days after I read it on my phone...
YOU MIGHT BE A GEEZER.

(Update: My faithful in-house newspaper reader continues to complain about the lack of true news in his print media and threatens the physical newspaper that he is gonna "cut off his subscription" if it doesn't do better. For the sake of journalistic integrity, I held the same paper in my hands and asked it, point blank, if it had any comment. I'm still waiting.)



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14 comments:

  1. Well, I'm hangin' with the youngsters on this one. I haven't subscribed to a print newspaper in years. I get all my news from TV, radio and the web now. Even when a print newspaper is nearby, I don't read it . . . but for a total geezer reason -- the print is too damn small!

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    1. I'm with you, there. For a while, my prescription wasn't exactly right and I just stopped reading it. My computer and phone are willing to make that text bigger...they love and care for me...

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  2. My parents got the newspaper and we got a free paper on Thursday until recently. My friend saved some old newspapers, well, not old, just from the 1980’s, and it was triple the size. Now the same paper is so thin you’d can almost spit through it. I get my news from the internet and tv. Yup.....tv.

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    1. Our paper gets smaller and smaller while the bill gets bigger. Ugh.

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  3. I still get the newspaper but it is hard for me to read
    Love your homemade paper !

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. Ha ha ha! Yes, and the hubby laughed at my creation -- so it was worth it.

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  4. "In general, news in print is less and less newsworthy."
    This is an under, under, under statement. I still get the weekend St. Louis paper, mainly for the weekend ads. They actually do try and do some relevant news stories for the weekend paper. But during the week the stories are weak. Repeats the next day. A lot fewer stories in general. I guess because all the major papers are owned by corporate scum.

    Most of the news for our suburb comes from two local free papers. One is mailed, one is thrown.

    Speaking of throwing papers, I used to do that in high school. Two days (nights) a week I would get up at 1am and (long story here), and then get back home at 5am to get a few more hours of sleep.

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    1. Yeah, I did understate that just a wee bit.

      Kudos and the paperboy gig...it's hard work and speaks to the character of the "flinger." Well done, sir.

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  5. OMG are you in my house??? This is totally my husband and in fact we did just cancel the newspaper daily delivery because he said it was too expensive! They called and begged him to reconsider so he decided to just get the Sunday paper but they've been delivering it every day anyway. He loves the jumble and the comics so what you did for him with saving just those sections would have been perfect for me to do to my husband too! He is forever telling the kids to "read a newspaper sometimes" when they discuss current events. Absolutely great post.

    Janet’s Smiles

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    1. Aw, thanks so much, Janet! That was a nice comment and I appreciate it.

      I think our husbands could be best buddies, ha ha.

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  6. "untapped source of words assembled for reasons they cannot fathom on any level"... LMAO! Brilliant! As for the similarly fathomless print media, I gave that up long ago. I get enough add supplements in the mail as is...

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    1. Let's all take up paper mache! Then, the newspaper will have value again.

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  7. Oh, I'm a sentimental geezer all right. I no longer subscribe to paper newspapers, but I must say I miss the feel of them. I get mine online. While the forests may be happier, digital paperless news is not the same.

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  8. I have to confess to having partly gone over to the dark side. The local papers have gotten so thin and poor that I now only receive the Wall Street Journal at home.

    www.thepulpitandthepen.com

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Thanks for your personal yada, yada, yada,
Love, Cherdo